My dad makes weird “jokes” about my body like one time he mentioned how skinny my 11 year old sister is and he said that I’m jealous of how skinny she is. Then the next day he was talking about how small my 2 sisters are and im so “big” compared to them. There’s so many other times he calls me fat when I workout all the time and I have a normal body. Mind you, my dad is super unhealthy and overweight…he smokes cigarettes, never workouts, eat like shit so i don’t know why he feels the need to comment on my body. It makes me really sad and sometimes I don’t even know what to say.
How can i defend myself when he insults me?
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The power of silence is often underrated. An alternative I’d suggest is to causally call him out. Just a “what do you mean by that” will be enough to make most people flounder. Just shut up afterwards and let him squirm in the silence.
That’s hurtful, calm say my body isn’t up for debate set boundaries, his words say more about him than you
Honestly, if it were me I’d be staring at my dad until he gets uncomfortable and go up to him… and poke his belly and walk away. Either that or whenever he eats trash food, just move it away and bring over a salad bowl and say, “let’s diet together because we’re both soooo unhealthy.”
Your dad’s comments may reflect his own insecurities, biases, or emotional immaturity not your worth or appearance. The fact that you take care of yourself and work out already shows you’re doing what you can to live a healthy life
A few ways to handle this .
Sometimes the best defense is calmly putting the truth out there.
“I don’t think it’s funny when you comment on my body. It hurts me, and I need you to stop.”
This is powerful because it tells him how you feel, which he can’t argue with. If he tries to play it off as a joke:
“Even if you think it’s a joke, it doesn’t feel that way to me. It’s not okay.”
You can also set a boundary if needed
Set a clear limit on what you’ll tolerate. Example:
“I’m not going to sit here and be insulted. If you can’t talk to me respectfully, I’m going to leave the conversation.”
And then walk away or leave the room if needed.
If you want to go on the offensive side, without being horribly rude, you can hold up a mirror:
“You talk a lot about my body, but you don’t take care of yours. Why are you focused on me instead of your own health?”
Or simply:
“Why does my body bother you so much?”
This makes him reflect, or at least realize you’re not going to just take it.
You could also simply give him the silent treatment, he doesn’t deserve any reaction, that may be what he’s doing, just fishing for a reaction.
God I’m yapping, hope this helps!
you need to come at him with jokes of your own.
i know 5 fat people and you are 4 of them etc etc
Have you ever asked him to stop? Have you communicated with him that it upsets you and hurts your feelings? If no, do so. If yes, talk to mom or grandma or a trusted adult, and maybe they can talk to him for you.. I’m sorry he’s saying these things to you it’s absolutely not ok.. Remember you are perfect how you are. Your feelings are valid. Dont let him dim your sparkle.
honestly i’m not sure this is the best approach but ive experienced this before and the best move IMO is to stay silent and stare back/ ignore them 🙂 i think it send the message of “hey idgaf abt what u have to say”
I hope your situation gets better and im sure ur beautiful! stay strong!!
I was super skinny as a child. Actually until I was well into adulthood. But as a child my dad would straight up accuse me of being anorexic. Claim i was intentionally not eating enough so I would stay thin. I figured out that it was his wife at the time who was convincing him of this and Eventually the truth came out that she was jealous of me. Either way it messes the child up when it comes to having a healthy body image. I’m sorry you’re going through this. I don’t really have any advice because honestly I was always too afraid of confrontation to say anything back then. But if I could do it over i probably would have asked him why he couldn’t just love me the way I was.
I don’t know if your dad is just a miserable prick or your family is the type to bluntly comment on other people’s body (I’m asian, this is sadly a normal occurrence where I grew up), but sometimes just not engaging and ignoring is the best thing to do.