My father committed suicide when I was less than a year old. I have no memories of him, but I do have some pictures and even videos of him from before I was born; my mom loved vlogging and scrap booking before it was cool. I am about to turn 26 in a few months and I’m absolutely in love with the life I’ve built for myself. I love my job, I’m in the healthiest and happiest relationship I’ve ever been in, and I’m slowly traveling the world as I’ve always wanted to. I’m so happy, but sometimes I really wish he was here to experience these moments with me. I wish I could hear his voice, his fatherly advice. Dads, I’d love ANY kind of words of wisdom or fatherly advice you have for me. Things you think my dad would want me to know, things you’ve taught to your own children, just overall words of wisdom. I’d appreciate it so much and I know I’d read this over and over again, smiling.
My dad took his life when I was 9 months old. What would he say to me if he were here now?
r/Advice
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I am not a father. However, I did not have one actively in my life. If there was one thing I wish he would have taught me early on, is to always believe in yourself. And everything you do, do it with intent and purpose.
i obviously never knew him (and i don’t know you either), but one thing i can say is that he’s watching over you and he’s so proud of the person you’ve become. you’ve clearly built the life you wanted and i’m honestly proud of you with this being my only impression of you, so imagine how much more proud he is of you, having been known you from up close for those 9 months and then being watching over you since. he’s watched you grow from afar into this wonderful human being, and he’s always going to be a part of you. sending love and my best wishes for you, your partner, and your family
I was reading this to my fiance and he said to tell you that your dad would be very proud of you.
That he is watching over you and loves you very much.
To hold your head up high and be proud of who you are
And know that you are never alone.
“Remember life is not a race , you do you , I will always love you”
It sounds like you are in a really good space. It’s all I want for my children, to find their own path, and hopefully a stable life, doing something ideally they are passionate about, and finding a peaceful way of life in this complicated world.
And it sounds like you are with someone special. Cherish that and remember, relationships take work. Communicate with eachother. Don’t let little things go without addressing them. They can build up overtime. That is something I wish my Dad had said to me. When things get heated, remember to point your finger inward, not outward. Relationship takes two.
As a father, I would do anything for my kids. There is no one in the world that I love more, than them.
I’m really sorry you lost your Dad. Mental health can be a real challenge for some people. I’ve lost a half dozen people in my lifetime alone.
Just know that he would be proud of you.
In life people do careless things because of their emotions. I would say that almost all bad things are caused by not being able to control our emotions. I’m sure if they could, we would all take back whatever actions were reckless. So, it’s never a good idea to make rash decisions solely based on whatever negative emotions are causing us distress. There are always solutions to our problems. We just have to keep doing our part to make our problems go away.
And if we can’t do it on our own, we shouldn’t ever feel ashamed of our given situation – because there should always be help available for the disabled.
Be the parent I wasn’t, simply by being present
Teach them compassion and kindness…for themselves most of all
I’m not a dad but I am a gifted psychic medium who has read many in your situation for various reasons.
First, your dad has never left your side. He is so very sorry he made that choice that he did. He simply did not feel he had the emotional tools to deal with the situation and unending emotional pain that felt physical to him as much as emotional. Your dad was in trauma and felt he had no other options. Of course he now knows all the options he did have. He is disappointed in his still…I am hearing he was emotionally young despite his biological age if that makes sense, he was not able to process all options. He also expresses sorrow as he claims his own “dumb pride” kept him from accepting the help of those closest to him. He believed a lie he told his mind that accepting help would equate to embarrassment from being “weak” and that is “not how my family rides”. He knows he was telling himself lies. Asking for a hand UP (not out) would have made him the stronger man. Does this make sense to you?
Your dad is saying,”If I could have been half the man and father my son is turning out to be, wow, I marvel at how sure-footed he is. And even when he is not totally sure of the next step, he seeks others he trusts and he trusts his gut. Something I never did too well. He has grown into a strong, handsome man. His word is his bond. Always. He will be everything she needs him to be.” I hope this make la sense to you. The images he is showing me are almost western in nature or Midwest. Like you have some cowboy/ranching in your bones. He said the community around you will know “before long” you are trustworthy. Many will know to lean on you when push comes to shove. Your heart is pure. Your words are iron. Your spine is straight. You are all you used to pretend he was when you played with those action figures on your grandmom’s little rug in the rec room. Your dad said he has learned from his own son and his own family’s legacy how to fit comfortably into the shoes he was always meant to wear. You are comfortable in the shoes you are meant to wear, the path chosen for you. Your father is always with you, just behind your left shoulder. He is like a guardian of the night. Speak out loud if you have a question or seek advice. I believe you know the sign from him. Something to do with ropes/harness/saddle/horses. You will begin to see it over and over. And yes, the short sequence number you see often is from him. He could not be more proud of who you are and all that you are still becoming. Your dreams are coming for you. Believe. Know that you are finally stepping onto your own legacy. But you have one heck of a man who has found redemption riding shotgun alongside. You got this. He is proud. You feel him around you. Don’t ever second guess. You pick up the signs. Yes. For you. You are a good man. The best is yet to come.
As somebody that fights the urge everyday and resist because I have people to take care of. He would say sorry and he would say that you have built such an amazing life without any advice your such a man you don’t even need it and I’m proud of you for that. Keep living your life how you are and never take a second for granted
If he’s looking down from somewhere I’m sure he is saying “oops! I left too soon.” He would be very proud of course if he had stayed. The best thing my dad told me was that most things are made of carbon and that’s what we all become eventually after we die. So he’s up there in the atmosphere somewhere. ❤️
My dad just passed this week. Kinda self inflicted in a different way. Never really was there for advice or doing what a dad is supposed to do. Look at your life, you all did that without the help, encouragement and advice of a father figure. That’s something to be proud of too 🙂
I know I am not here and never have been. Life is really hard. I’m sorry I left you here to figure it out on your own. I couldn’t take any more.
You can. You are different than me. You are a survivor. You are intelligent and capable of things I could never do. Keep fighting, keep winning. I am unbelievably proud of you and I love you always.