So I’m 21 and I wanna move out with my girlfriend (23) and my dad is really against it but legally he can’t stop me so I decided it’s gonna happen no matter what and already sorted out everything, ready to start moving out. Out of nowhere he says he will smash and destroy everything I own if he finds any hint of me moving… I have so much stuff and valuables in my room that it’ll take 2-3 days minimum to move everything out… so he’s definitely gonna find out eventually that I am, and annihilate my belongings. What am I possibly supposed to do now? I feel trapped and he is definitely not lying when he said this. Any advice?
My dad’s gonna smash everything I own…
r/Advice
Comments
Get a moving truck and friends to grab and go while he’s at work
Your Dad sounds very possessive and childish to do such a thing. If this is the way he wants to play it, look around your room or stuff at what is most easily to break and of high importance that you cannot replace and start moving that stuff out first. Towards the end of the move, start moving things that are more easily replaced but less valuable to you. It’s likely you will have to get new things. Honestly, if you’re Dad truly will act this way as you move out, these things are yours. Call the police every time you try to move and tell them what’s going on so they can restrain him from breaking your things while you move. I suggest that you stop talking to your Dad though if this is how he truly will act. You are right to get away from him.
Do you think you could “clean out your room” and put some stuff in trash bags and then have someone come pick them up for you? Or if you have the time, move small stuff over during the course of a few weeks, it would tedious but it could avoid suspicion if its gradual?
Get the police to supervise you moving out
Is it just you and him there? Any other family members?
Like someone else said, ask the cops to help facilitate the move and tell them what your dad threatened to do
Youve got some good ideas here. Getting things out in a couple hours while he’s out is the thing to do. Clean your room. Throw everything away that’s trash. Then just have a bunch of people come in with U-Haul boxes, tape, markers and box it up fast. Put it in the truck and go.
There’s no way it should take 2-3 days for one room. Two hours tops. But you need a team.
If he’s got cameras up that may be trickier.
Tbh, you need to sit down and properly talk.
Dont let this end on a sour note, believe me, i know.
Having a calm conversation about this, showing him rationality, awareness, and responsibility trust me he would give you his blessings, and be a backup for you if you need any help later.
Your dad/mom in alot of cases are on your side, at times they do weird things thinking its whats best for you and your future, without proper awareness. < thats when you sit down, and introduce awareness to the conversation.
Why is he so possessive over you? Are you his meal ticket (ie paying rent money which is money for his alcohol, tobacco, cigarettes, drug addiction) or a punching bag since he won’t beat on other people in the house? You are over 18 so you can legally move out whenever you wish. You can call and arrange a police escort if you need to.
With that being said, this type of threat can easily extend to him showing up wherever you move to if he knows where that place is. So, make sure to invest in security cameras and take photos of all your items now, before moving, to show their condition if it becomes something you need to go to court over.
Police will supervise you moving out if you request it. I had to do it before. Your dad can get into legal problems if he destroys anything you own. I would have the cops there. It’s embarrassing, but definitely the safest route to go
Your an adult and can ask for a civil escort, call your local police department and ask if they can have an officer stand by while you move your belongings they will usually just pull up and set in the car while you do your thing in case there is any conflict. Best of luck sorry you have to deal with a toxic parent. Fuck him you deserve better. Get outta there! Achieve everything you set your sights on and this is number 1
Your best option would be to follow the advise of the top two comments, which I will repeat.
Rent a moving truck or a van, and being a long as many friends and your girlfriend along with you as you can to help you move your things.
Call the police department and ask them for an escort. You’re an adult and your father has threatened you with a crime. They will send an officer to maintain the peace while you gather all of your belongings.
Good luck OP, be safe!
This isn’t good advice but I dealt with a similar situation once and I just straight up told them “go for it. I’ll smash something of yours for everything of mine you destroy. Let’s play, asshole”
They broke my laptop so I smashed their windshield of their car. Again not good advice BUT after they realized i was serious they just left me alone lol (just needed to share my story I guess)
Sometimes you can bring a cop. Get your friends together and do it quickly. He sounds unhinged.
How old is your dad? Sorry you’re experiencing this. Sounds like he’s the child who can’t cope with adult emotions.
Involve the police. Have them escort you when you get your things. Get a moving truck and friends so you can get it done
I would encourage you to pull in some friends to make quick work of it while he’s away or to request a police presence while it’s happening if he’s there.
Rent a storage bin.
Rent a truck and help.
Move everything out while dad is out of the house.
Be free.
Don’t ducking call the police unless your life is in serious jeopardy! Police have been known to just shoot and if your dad starts smashing and not listening to the police, are you OK with the police shooting your dad???
Grab a big moving company when hes not home and move it in few hours…getlots of people
Your dad’s reaction and behavior is childish and somewhat comical. I feel like you’re at a point where you need to leave home now.
Other than threatening to hulk smash everything you own, has he told you or given any hints as to why he opposes you leaving?
Is it finances, or possibly his health (physical or.mental)?
Once you’re out, you really need to have a discussion with him.
Legally, he can not stop you. Parents tend to know who is best for whom in the long run. He might know something that you don’t.
I was told no at 20 to move out and was advised against it at 25? AND I LISTENED then I was ready to move out in 2021 then rent got so out of control that you can barely but still can’t do it on your own
Bruh, tell him what I wasn’t brave enough to say. You need to let me live my life, I gotta grow up some time.
From experience, you’ll never end up with grandkids when you want them, I’ll lose the courage to move out eventually and I will eventually have a very difficult time coping with living at home at an older age.
Parents, y’all need to let your adult kids go when they want to go.
Unless this girlfriend of yours has major red flags and your just to blind to see them lol
I agree with the u-haul comments