My ex (27F) just dumped me (21M) because her other ex/guy best friend told her I was lying and keeping some things hidden because I constantly felt like I was walking over eggshells and was losing trust and stopped doing most of the things in my life such as going to the gym with my best friend or gaming with my other friends on a discord call.
I mentioned to her ex that I didn’t want to literally tell people that I wasn’t either close with or people that have treated me badly about her because of their immaturity. Then he said I’d fuck the relationship up if I wasn’t honest which I was, however what changed with this is when she lashed out on a video game we were playing online and then took it out on me because of it. The day after, she had an appointment which had something to do with her bleeding problems down there and again she took it out on me like I’m some punching bag. She apologised and I quickly forgave her and didn’t tell her how I felt because I just wanted to be in peace and not have it lead to anything filled with drama. Just a lil heads up I met her online but I met her irl a couple weeks after and we had a 6 hour long distance in the same country.
But deep down this caused me to question the relationship and I was starting to have doubts. I do remember when we first started dating she would put all these boundaries such as “Whenever you’re gaming with your friends can you screenshare on an alt account on discord whilst you’re gaming with them?” which I thought was crazy because in a relationship there should be trust. She apparently has had bad experiences in the dating life in the past and her ex/best friend stated that “it’s not her fault that’s just the way she is after all that she’s been through.” So I listened to her boundaries but then I realised I wasn’t spending time at the gym with my best friend like we normally do + I was around my other friends due to it which felt like she was controlling me from having a social life.
Once the breakup happened her and her ex were arguing at me saying that I’m a piece of shit and that I should kill myself and was told “No wonder why your relationships don’t last long.” It’s only been almost a week and now her and her ex are flirting again so this raises two questions…
Was she emotionally abusive/manipiulative to me?
Was this relationship doomed from the very start?
Keep in mind this relationship only lasted a month.
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Any 27 year old with a 21 year old partner and 21 year old best friend gets an immediate side eye
27 and 21 ☠️ that was your first mistake
Yes, her behavior shows signs of emotional manipulation and control, like criticizing you, imposing excessive boundaries, and taking out her frustration on you. The relationship was likely unhealthy from the start, especially given the short duration, her quick attachment, and involvement of her ex. Moving on and setting boundaries for yourself is the healthiest step.