Like the title says.
We broke up in January after he threatened to change the locks on me when I was visiting my sister out of state. There’s a long year of emotional abuse documented in my journal.
February he told me I can keep everything I moved from the house he just wanted a few items back. I said okay fine. Fast forward to last week I gave back everything I had in my possession and he’s had the cops harass me saying I stole from him and I’m hiding a firearm in my house and his passport.
When we broke up the first time he tried to send me an itemized statement of all the money he gave me during the relationship and how I needed to pay him back or he’s taking me to court or we can work it out.
I’m worried that he’s going to try to get me to give back our furniture that he told me I can keep. He’s also been stalking me and since my state has a database for court he found my custody hearing and has threatened to show up to it.
I looked in all the boxes I don’t have any items he’s claiming I have and he’s threatening a lawyer. I’m sure it’ll be small claims court but I’m not sure what to do. He’s also holding my childhood treasure box hostage and hasn’t returned it which also has photos and memories of my late fiance and my dad who died in a car accident last November.
AITA?
Comments
NTA. Document everything, get a lawyer, and file a restraining order. He’s abusive and trying to control you through legal threats.
You should be looking in the Legal Advice subreddit.
NTA, as said before, seek a lawyer, document everything, he’s using this to control you and hoping it will force you to come back to him
NTA. He’s 52 doing all this? That’s embarrassing lol
NTA. You need to file a harassment police report and if you have evidence that he’s holding your items hostage, file that as theft too.
If he hasn’t filed a report, he’s bluffing because he knows he has no evidence. But you do.
20 year age gap, what could go wrong.
Nta take him to court over your box
Do you have a record of him telling you to keep everything?
Why not trade him whatever he wants that you still have (like furniture)for your box of personal treasures? You probably don’t need any reminders around your home of your time with him anyway. Since you’re convinced this is just a small claims matter anyway, there is not much money involved. Maybe give up the crap he wants back in exchange for what you really need back from him. It would be a small price to pay to get him out of your life.
Holy age gap Batman!
If you find the firearm I’d not give it back personally. If you don’t take it to the police then call your local gun stores and see if they will hold it until he goes through—and pays for—a background check. (I don’t know if the stores do this or not.)
NTA. Do not fear small claims. He would have to prove you have his property.
Preserve all texts, written communication, and voice mails, especially the texts telling you what you can keep, and the texts saying he would change the locks unless you returned from visiting your sister. Go to the police station and request a restraining order. The texts clearly show he is threatening to sue you unless you get back together with him, and he’s harassing you.
Request the police accompany you to retrieve the box with your childhood mementos.
NTA! Let him. He has to prove you have any of those items.
Get your own lawyer and sue to have your childhood box back.
And he can show up to any hearing he wants. They won’t let him talk.
YTAH
You needed more than four weeks to meet up and gave him his things back? Why would you take anything that doesn’t belong to you?
HIS PASSPORT?
Get help, girl. Focus on yourself and do better.
Hopefully you got everything in written form so you can prove he already told you that you could keep everything. Also file a stalking protection order. You just need at least 3 instances of him contacting you when you told him not to or not leaving when you told him to.
Just go to a lawyer but don’t respond to anything else he says. Every legal advice is don’t contact anyone who is trying to sue you without a attorney
20 year age gap, oh god…
Unless you have written proof of him saying you can keep the furniture but he can produce receipts of him purchasing the furniture, then you most likely have to return it
Otherwise document everything
Save any text messages you have where he tells you you can keep any specific items. I’m assuming you don’t have the firearm or his passport, but if you do, return it. You may just need to come to terms with the fact that you’re not going to get your childhood treasure box back. You definitely need to be documenting everything and talking to an attorney.