location: new york state
im looking for any advice for my situation as well as some specific questions at the end. I cant find anything online because its not divorce related.
Me and my ex broke up like 2 years ago and we stayed on good terms for a while, im gay so no feelings were hurt. I moved out 9 months ago and took the cat that we had for 3 months. Things went downhill and we dont talk anymore and its been like that for about 8 months. My roommate is his gf which is relevant (messy i know lets acknowledge and move on). My cat is 1 year old now so I took him into the vet. My roommate (his gf) told my ex and he wanted my cats vet records, I declined and he argued that its his cat. When i came home today my ex was there and had a carrier to try and take my cat. I called the police and when they arrived they said that this is a civil matter but said the cat should stay with me until then because this is where hes been living for the past 9 months. When I was calling the cops my ex said he filed a police report earlier.
Now we might be going to court and Id like some advice, Im not daunted by big things, but my ex is, tho i think his gf will push him to go through with it.
We found the cat on the side of the road so did not officially adopt it from a shelter however I dont recall if we filled out adoption papers with the vet and what name was on that. I think we did and I think its both of ours but the vet records could only go under one, but I am not sure, I will call and ask. I have the most recent vet record in my name, the old ones from when we first got him in May 2024 are in my ex’s name, but I paid for at 2 of the maybe 3 or 4 initial appointments including the most expensive visit for getting my cat fixed and I have bank records to confirm that. I might be able to ask the vet clinic for security video since I attended 1 or 2 of the intial vet appointments. We got my cat chipped and I have the number in my vet profile for the cat however he claims its in his name. He seems to know the number and I know I do.
My ex has not contributed at all financially to the care of the cat and when I left on vacation I paid my roommate to care for the cat and a text message asking her to do so and proof of payment. I have screenshots of the argument in which my ex refers to his relationship with the cat in these part months as “visits” and says that he said he “didnt want to split time” of the cat because his “living arrangement is very difficult”. His main argument is that we agreed hed take the cat back eventually, which i never agreed, and i double checked messages and could find nothing of the sort, not even him asking. And that he has the first vet records in his name and the chip was/is under his as well. I have many photos of my cat and a history on my instagram page of pictures of my cat, I know he does not have the same thing.
I cant afford a lawyer and I dont know if pro bono exists for stuff like this, my roommate (the gf) has a lawyer in her family but I dont know if they will help, were all very early 20s. Ive had the cat for 9 months without issue and its all of a sudden now he wants it. I have a suspicion that my exs own cat has died and that is what motivates this.
If they do have a lawyer what advice do you have for going against them myself? Since I have the cat I dont know if i should file because im not asking for anything, should i start it myself? Is there issues if I move back to my home after i graduate college in May? (which has been planned and my ex has been aware for years as has my roommate (the gf)). In regards to moving does pre or post filing affect it? What evidence can i collect to help my case? Do I have a good shot or should i prepare to say goodbye? Should I file a police report for attempted theft? He didnt make it out with my cat, he had the carrier but not my cat. Is there anything I should emphasize/what is my best argument?
(edit: spelling)
Comments
INAL. Collect all of the records of you and you alone caring for the cat (vet bills, food receipts, photos of the cat over the last 9 months etc) have the chip record changed to your name or do it yourself, and let your ex know in writing that you’re sorry for the loss of his own cat, but stealing your own cat is not the answer.
Then cease all contact with him about the matter until 1) he manages to steal the cat, or 2) sues you for the cat. This will go through small claims court if he does sue you. I wouldn’t worry about getting a lawyer. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t pay a consult fee to speak with a lawyer if you are sued.
I would also be concerned that the girlfriend will let him in again to take the cat. She’s done it once, she might do it again.
Can you lock your room when you are not there and keep the cat in your room? Is there someone you trust who can look after your cat until you graduate and move?