My ex-colleague is in a relationship with his aunt and I told his great-grandma about it (by accident!)

So this is a wild, fucked up story, and I feel like this one of those moments from a movie where the stars aligned for shit to hit the fan. Granted nobody else really knows but her (more on that) but you’ll see where this goes.

To cut to the chase, I work with this guy who I’ll call Max and he’s 25 years old. We’ve been on the same crew for like 3 and a half years and the entire time I knew him I thought this slightly older brunette picking him up time to time from work was his gf or wife (he doesn’t drive, he takes the train to Alameda). To give you an idea, she looks like this OF girl I saw do an interview for some gaming or Vlad TV channel (Nikki Brooks I think?? Which is crazy because they have the same name). Beautiful as fuck. Anyway, last month I find out she’s not his gf or wife (more on that later), but his AUNT.

We’re having lunch one day (our shifts were the same that day), and I ask him if he wants to hang out with me, my gf, another work buddy I’ll call Chris, and my cousin that evening. There’s this new lounge pool bar in SF and I thought he’d like it. He tells me no and he tells me “yeah, because Aunt Nikki is picking me up later.” So I’m like “cool cool, next time then.” Didn’t think twice about it, shit, he has a long commute home. But then he gives me this weird look like he wants to say something but doesn’t and I thought whatever. I left it alone.

The weekend goes by and I see him next on Wednesday when we’re working day shift. He asks me if I want to hang out with him and his girl at this place (some restaurant/bar in San Carlos). I say “sure, I’ll ask my girl.” I call her up on my lunch break but then I remember she has this project and she needs to work on it for her boss (who I’ve met and is a real piece of work with her deadlines). So she’s out. I call my cousin and he’s pissy about it so he’s out, too. And Chris works another job at night. So it’s just me and Max. So go “look brother, it’s just me.” Here’s where I thought maybe he’d say fuck it because I’d be third wheeling but Max is like “that’s fine. just us then.” And he tells me about this place and we agree to head over there after work. I’ll drive over the bridge to his place and head to his apartment and we’ll drive from there around like 8 or 9 later. It was like three or four blocks from his house.

When I show up to his place later (dude gave me like three different set of directions lmao), I see he’s already outside and he’s with the woman who always picks him up. Nikki. I’m like “that’s fucking weird” but I thought maybe something happened and his girl didn’t want to come. Maybe he just invited her, too? So I wave and go over and I get in the backseat. He introduces me to her as just Nikki and I’m like “cool, nice to meet you.” Really nice and normal intro. Weird he didn’t say “this is my aunt” or anything. But I didn’t say anything or ask. After like 15 seconds, he just turns around and has this really serious look on his face. And I’ve never seen this dude look like this and we work with some annoying fucking people. He goes “Hey, man, before we go, I gotta tell you something.” And I look at Nikki and she’s looking at me like she’s nervous or something. I go “yeah what’s up?” And Max flat out just says “this is my aunt, you know.” And I look at both of them like “cool cool” and I play it off like yeah I know. And he gives me some awkward fist bump and laughs and I’m like laughing like what the actual fuck is going on?? But she does this magician level shit of just changing the tone and we’re off to the city, listening to music and talking about work and concerts and stuff. I’m like “okay, maybe he’s just embarrassed he doesn’t have a girlfriend??” Easy, realistic answer. Dude was just lying about having a gf and invited Aunt Nikki.

The night was pretty basic and the place was fine. Max drank a few beers and I had one but Nikki made sure not to because she was driving. We stayed out until at least 12 and then headed back to his place so I could pick up my car to go back home over the bay. When we get back to his place, I need to piss really bad and I just come out with “can I use your bathroom real quick?” Max kind of looks like why but Nikki says sure right away. Which was weird because it’s not her place, right??

Anyway, we head upstairs and I go into this apartment and it’s really nice. I go to the bathroom and get ready to leave when I notice something strange. Dude has ladies stuff in the bathroom like perfumes and a robe and all these nice smelling creams you get from Sephora (yeah yeah don’t ask I’ve had to buy stuff for my girl lmao). Anyway, I come out into the living room and they’re chilling on the couch like super close, giggling and stuff and I see Nikki like running her hand through his hair. They don’t stop when they see me but kind of start talking about his gaming setup (we always talk about it at work). I do that “oh look it’s getting late” after like 20 or so minutes of chatting and I’m about to leave. Before I go, I notice a family photo on the wall of Max and a bunch of people (two looked like his parents and of him and two other guys and there was Nikki, but like a little younger). They looked like they were at Disney World. He sees me looking at it and he goes “yeah, family trip.”

And this is where it gets into weird territory. Nikki goes “yeah, I was younger. Can’t believe I’m 37 now. 7 years goes by fast huh babe.” And she gives him this kiss on the cheek and stares at him biting her lip a little. I don’t think she noticed that I noticed that. And then I look at Max and he’s like shifting and smiles but clears his throat. And that’s when I realized I was dead wrong earlier. He wasn’t lying it was just that Max and Nikki were actually together! 😬😬😬😬😬😬 She says goodbye and gets distracted by some show and he walks me out. Before I go, I had to ask and maybe I’m an asshole for the way I said it outside but I went “Hey Max, man, like I don’t care but are you guys really a couple?” And he looks at me and says “yeah yeah, just don’t say anything. Like people judge and stuff.” And I feel bad and confused and kind of sick because I can tell he’s not kidding. Like this is his actual aunt. I don’t really talk more about it but say “cool, yeah don’t worry.” And I head home.

Next time I see Max is on Friday. Like we talk for a little bit but that’s about it. I don’t ask to hang out anymore but when he asks I do. Like two or three more times. I just felt bad and didn’t want to make him think I was avoiding him because of his strange goddamned romance.Then like a month or two later, he tells me he got a job in Palo Alto. So I’m like “cool man, going to miss you.” He leaves two weeks later. And this is where I believe I spilled the beans.

This old woman (she sounder like she was 80) calls the main office asking to speak with Max a week or two later. I thought that’s weird but tell her he left. She says “oh, I tried reaching him but he doesn’t answer his extensions and some woman answered. He worked on my condo.” And I still question why I said her name but I said “Did you try Nikki? That’s his gf and they live together.” And she stops and is like “how do you know my granddaughter? She lives in Los Angeles.” And I freeze up because there’s no way I should know that and this is Max’s great-grandma?????? I’m like “sorry, I meant” and she goes “she never told me she moved up there. Excuse me, I gotta go.” And she hangs up. About a month later Max sends me a dm asking me why I told his great-grandma he lived with Nikki. I said I thought she was a client. And he got mad and pretty much shamed me for letting her know Nikki was living with him. Like I was supposed to know his great-grandma was hunting him down or some shit. And then he says “and my mom came and saw a photo of us kissing.” And I’m like how the fuck did this happen? He left it in an album and she saw it.

So yeah. That’s my messed up confession. I let the cat out of the bag. And I haven’t spoken to Max to this day. I saw Nikki one or twice somewhere on the Peninsula and she looked at me like I was the fucking devil. Didn’t say a word. Anyway, that’s my L moment. Thanks for reading. I know this shit is long.