Let’s call her Sara. She basically led me on for a majority of our relationship, since she would call me her “girlfriend” in private, but she always kept it hidden from anyone else. She even said that she loved me, romantically. Took my first kiss and all.
So, guess how strange it felt for her to come over and start talking about how she confessed to our mutual friend, Polly, and that they were going to start dating soon. I was frozen in place, because at this point she never said that we should break up or anything along those lines. I just dismissed it since I needed more time to think about what to do.
The next day she came over again, and I had to break it off because she was too much of a coward to own up to not loving me. It was really annoying and I made the executive decision to stop talking to her as often as possible. Unfortunately, we were still in the same friend group, so we still ended up seeing each other at group gatherings and such.
I think the part that hurt me was that she was so open about dating Polly, since they announced their relationship a week in. Meanwhile she never publicly acknowledged me for the multiple months that we were involved, because she insisted on keeping it between us. I thought it was because she didn’t want to be out as bisexual, but turns out I just wasn’t enough to be worth it. Whatever, bygones are bygones and it was kind of my fault getting attached to someone who was so wishy-washy about the terms of our relationship. My bad, I learned my lesson.
That was a few months ago. At some point, I vented about this situation to one of my other friends, Gary. A week later, Polly came over and we ended up talking about it. Turns out that Gary went poking around for more information and Polly found out about the mess between me and Sara (I’m still a bit mad at Gary about that, but he’s a bit of a gossip so I wasn’t surprised). I just said that I was surprised that it ever got revealed and we moved on to talk about other things. Polly and Sara are both good people (even if I resent Sara) and they’re a cute couple, so I didn’t want to be the cause of any conflict.
A day later, Sara messaged me to ask if she could come over and use my piano. I said sure, so she came over and played the piano while I stayed in my room. I was planning on just not talking to her, but when she was about to leave, she came up to me and apologized for leading me on.
It made me want to throw up. Of course she only apologizes when other people found out. Polly probably got her to do that, which makes me feel like shit since I doubt that Sara actually felt guilty. I don’t need her to apologize and I don’t want to forgive her, I just want to forget about the fact that I was stupid enough to think she actually valued me.
But, I said I forgave her, because she’s still a good person and it would be annoying to deal with the fallout. Everyone has moved on from this except me, and all I have left of this “relationship” is bitterness. It makes me feel like such a bad person for hating her.
Comments
Honey, you’re hurt. You’re allowed to be hurt. And while you’re young and make mistakes, Sarah isn’t a good person.
She used you. She probably was talking to or messing around with Polly while still stringing you along. She only apologized when her shitty behavior was exposed. These are not the actions of a good person.
It’s good to have empathy, but don’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm.
Stop letting her use your piano. Seriously, stop entertaining these people. Stop being friends with these people. Why isn’t anyone checking in on you? Why aren’t your friends being… idk, friends?
It may be time to shop around for some new ones.
I’m guessing you’re all very young here, and I hope you all grow to become stronger and more confident individuals.
That being said, Sara is absolutely not a good person. She used you like a dirty napkin to be discarded when another came along, and now she’s using you again for things she wants. She would never have apologized if she hadn’t been found out, and she’s probably only doing it now to get you to let her use your piano.
Drop her, and now that she’s out if you want tell the truth about what happened.
You’ll make better friends with time, and hopefully you’ll become more confident and not let people walk all over you again.
God I feel old reading this post.
I am reading between the lines here:
“Sara treated me like shit – but she is still a good person!”
“Sara was leading me on, never wanted to come out that we were being together, but was willing to do so with her next partner – but Sara is a good person and they both look cute together!”
“I told Gary, who I know can’t keep his mouth shut – but he told Polly … totally unexpected – but he is a good person!”
“Sara came over to apologize, most likely because Polly made her. I know she felt no remorse, I did nor forgive her, so I told her I forgive her!”
Sara made you feel like shit before and now that she officially apoligized to appease those friends, she made you feel like shit for doing that – but she is still a good person!
Don’t feel bad hating Sara. Sara ain’t a good person, she is awful! As soon as you admit to yourself that Sara was awful and still is awful, the better you feel hating her. (At least Gary is checking on you, so he is probably not as bad, but mind you: never tell him anything you don’t want others to know about!)
Sara doesn’t seem like a good person. She lead you on, kept you a secret AND was talking to someone behind your back (if you put 2 and 2 together). Accept the apology, move on. Don’t waste any brain space on this garbage of a human.
“She’s still a good person.”
I don’t believe you one bit. Good people don’t go around fooling other’s hearts.
She is not a good person.
Watch for yourself.
Make sure your friends know she is a snake, so they dont get fucked by her.