Yep. You read that right.
I (33F) divorced my ex (35M) two years ago. We were married for 6 years. We didn’t end on terrible terms, but the relationship was dead and he moved on super fast, to a woman (31F) he started dating before our divorce was even finalized.
They got married last year. I have zero interest in him anymore. I’m in a new relationship and co-parenting our dog (don’t ask). But two weeks ago, I got a DM on Instagram from her, his new wife.
She asked if I would be willing to pretend to hang out with her one Saturday so she could sneak away and hook up with a guy she met at her gym. She even offered to buy me brunch or a gift card “for my trouble.”
I was speechless. She said, “You know how he is… he deserves it. You’ve been through it. You get it.”
Girl. WHAT. I didn’t respond right away. I showed my current partner. He said to block her and walk away. But I couldn’t help it, I responded and said, “No. And I hope he figures out who you really are before it’s too late.”
Now she’s blocked me. But I’m still debating telling my ex. He’s not a great guy, but does he deserve this? Or am I just poking a hornet’s nest?
Comments
Backup of the post’s body: Yep. You read that right.
I (33F) divorced my ex (35M) two years ago. We were married for 6 years. We didn’t end on terrible terms, but the relationship was dead and he moved on super fast, to a woman (31F) he started dating before our divorce was even finalized.
They got married last year. I have zero interest in him anymore. I’m in a new relationship and co-parenting our dog (don’t ask). But two weeks ago, I got a DM on Instagram from her, his new wife.
She asked if I would be willing to pretend to hang out with her one Saturday so she could sneak away and hook up with a guy she met at her gym. She even offered to buy me brunch or a gift card “for my trouble.”
I was speechless. She said, “You know how he is… he deserves it. You’ve been through it. You get it.”
Girl. WHAT. I didn’t respond right away. I showed my current partner. He said to block her and walk away. But I couldn’t help it, I responded and said, “No. And I hope he figures out who you really are before it’s too late.”
Now she’s blocked me. But I’m still debating telling my ex. He’s not a great guy, but does he deserve this? Or am I just poking a hornet’s nest?
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Does ‘not a great guy’ include taking his new wife’s phone and contacting his ex-wife?
Edit:
If not, ‘you’ve been through it’ means he was likely cheating on you with her.
I’d let him piss and twist in the wind. Don’t say a word.
Fuck cheaters. I’d tell him.
Tell him , because its what YOU would do, and who you are.
The people and relationships to you are irrelevant, be your authentic self.
This is nonsense.
Your partner is right.
Either this is some kind of online prank or loyalty test or other horseshit…
Or she really is that shitty.
You have no fucks to give. Don’t even respond. Just block her. Say nothing, do nothing, walk away.
(I know, she’s blocked you. Still say nothing. WALK AWAY. She will gaslight him into thinking you are getting revenge and bitter, and there will be no winners.)
Stay out of it. Not your circus, not your monkeys
I think the golden rule applies here perfectly. Do unto others as youd have done to you. So… would you want him to tell you if it was a reverse situation? Screenshot and send.
Your current partner was right- you shouldn’t have even replied and got involved in whatever drama is going on. Going to him is just keeping yourself involved and it’s not worth whatever hassle it’ll create, and I’m sure it’s gonna create a shit storm that now you’ll be dealing with as well.
You should not meddle.
New wife isnt the brightest fucking bulb putting that out their to a relatively unknown person rather than having a denial conversation. All you have to do to burn her down is pictures of the message. It sounds like they deserve each other.
Don’t get involved. He’s not your problem anymore. You have your new life to focus on.
Honestly I wouldn’t have even responded. Maybe send the whole chat to him because of co-parenting the dog.
But seriously, this woman decided to go to you? Some people are just stupid.
“You know how he is… *he deserves it*. *You’ve been through it.* You get it.”
“We didn’t end on terrible terms, but the relationship was dead and he moved on super fast*, to a woman (31F) he started dating before our divorce was even finalized*.”
Nope, he didn’t move on super fast. He cheated on you with her. So yeah, he DOES deserve that.
I would tell him and watch the fireworks. And I would also respect the wishes of my current BF. In the end, do what is best for YOU.
I would show the conversation to the ex, I am always in favor of the betrayed knowing about the betrayal
Show him and block the c.nt.
– after you take the gift card of course.
Fuck the guy at the gym to assert dominance.
I’d tell him. What he does with that info is his problem but I would at least reach out and say something
Tell him so that he can surprise her at her date.
Walk away. Leave the past in the past
If the positions were reversed, wouldn’t you like him to tell you?
Tell him. ASAP.
Screen shot & blackmail?
I’d show the text to him. Cheating is just plain wrong there is no “but”. Ask yourself if was the other way around would you like him to tell you?
I think it’s hilarious if it’s true. I don’t know why people pretend they’re in love and get married. Just be like the dogs you are and roam around and fuck what’s available on the street. 😀
Tell him because she will be putting his health at risk.
I’d tell him…he’s not a good person, and neither is she. Just text him a screenshot of the convo.
Sounds like your ex is putting his wife up to this to get a laugh at your expense. If you tell him, he calls you a jealous busybody. If you don’t, he gets to pretend you are no different than he was when he was cheating on you, willing to keep a secret about infidelity from someone who should know the truth. No one is as stupid as the new wife is pretending to be in your story.
So, why did she choose you? Isn’t it strange that she wanted to hang out with you, Wouldn’t it be strange to tell him that she is hanging out with you? Right there wouldn’t his antenna go up? I wonder what she was really trying to do. I wouldn’t trust this. Go with hubby, keep out of it.
Why would she ask YOU though? The ex?? She wants drama. Something fishy here.
Forward him the screenshots of your convo.
I’m torn….If he’s not a cheater I would tell him. She could walk away. If she is unhappy she should be an adult and get a divorce. It will come out and if he was bad before he will be even worse. On the other hand while I still don’t condone cheating it’s not your circus not your monkeys. He is dealing with the consequences of his behavior.
Is he worth your effort?
Will you be able to just let it go?
The audacity of that bitch. Tell him.
Snapshot and forward to the ex
Conspiracy theory…..your ex husband is testing you. His current wife would never ask you to do such a thing 🥴
Do you think theres any chance of kids on the horizon for them? That would be the only reason id consider telling him… wouldnt want to subject kids to what already looks like an inevitably broken home.
Tell her she should know how cheaters are since she herself is one
There are high chances that if you tell your ex, he may not believe you, and you will end up getting the trouble unless you have evidence, like a screenshot of messages or something.
Just walk away. She’ll be her own downfall
Don’t get involved.
Not worth it.
It might be some she does to get you in trouble and create drama.
Whatever happens or doesn’t happen is between them.
Screenshot the message and send it to him. He needs to know who he married.
Pull the ole uno reverse and fuck your ex husband.
Tell him ..then tell us ..Update meeee
If you didn’t end on terrible terms, and he didn’t cheat on you, you should tell him. If he cheated on you, then I wouldn’t bother telling him
Yep tell him
Stay out of it.
Tell him.
Why the hell would she think you’d be okay with this? Because he is your ex?
Screenshot the messages and send them to him
If you guys ended on decent terms and he never did any crazy shit to you, I’d tell him
Tell him. He probably won’t believe you, but he needs to be informed
Petty me wouldn’t say a word and let that dumpster get lit on fire. He moved on from me like it was nothing, so he’s gonna find out that girl moved on from him like nothing.
If he wasn’t a great guy, I have a feeling that was him messaging to see what you’d say
delete and move on. you must care about him if co parenting a dog. geez. right?
Girl. He was cheating on you with her before you were in the process of divorce. That was a slip of the tongue for her. She probably thinks you know how he is cause she was the other woman, he probably told her he left you for her. And now, she has an idea that he’s already cheating on her now. And so she is just doing the same. Stay out of it. They sound like drama. I’d be avoiding them like the plague.
Just forward him the texts.
Stay out of it. Not your circus, not your monkeys
Shit. Does she have no friends? She had to go to you? So many blinking red signs are pointing to her being a bad person.
Speaking from personal experience. Leave it alone and stay as far away from it as possible.
He won’t believe you. She will convince him otherwise. If you still have to deal with him due to the dog your sharing it will make all of those interactions worse.
You think you are doing the right thing and in turn you will be the bad guy.
For context this exact thing happened to my wife. She caught her brother’s wife in a room with a guy and told her brother. Her brother stopped talking to her for a year and a half cus somehow it was her fault and she was lying or god knows what his wife convinced him of. They only started talking again once their baby was born and the sil came showing everyone how much the baby looked like the father.
I’d tell him. Only because if the circumstances were reversed I would want him to tell me.
Tell him. Cheaters need to learn somehow.
“I have something really important to tell you about your wife but before I do I’m going to need full custody of our dog”
Tell your ex. Now. Not tomorrow. Not after breakfast. Now.
I’d somehow record the conversation or screenshot texts, then tell him. She sounds like the kind of person who would call you the liar to your ex.
I don’t think it matters either way. Either tell him and help speed along the end of his new relationship, or just let it be and wait for him to find out on his own. The result is going to be the same, and you don’t owe him anything.
Tell him. While he may have started dating before the divorce was final, it sounds like he at least waited until you’d separated.
[Edit to add: Since it’s only been a year, hopefully he can get out of the current marriage with minimal damage in terms of lost assets and alimony…not your concern, but if it’s already a train wreck, at least let him get clear of the wreckage before it catches fire.]
I’d tell him. And offer advice that he can be in a relationship without getting freaking married!
screw her, if he wasn’t terrible to you then you show him the messages. He deserves to know
Tell him. Show the messages.
You had enough common sense to divorce him. She can do the same. Cheating because you’re not happy is always the wrong answer. Whether you tell him or not is your call but don’t actively help her cheat. You guys ain’t buddies.
What do you mean by he’s not a great guy? I mean I wouldn’t write off completely but depends on you meant though
I’d send it to him.
Don’t get involved. First you don’t know what it’s really behind that and second she will deny it and you will end up being the envy ex that doesn’t move on.
I want to know what makes him NOT a great guy before I say anything because if he’s a cheater, manipulator, abuser, and etc. I’m not going to support you looking out for him. In fact, I’d think you’d be an absolute fool for getting in the way of karma.
More info please
Stay away. Don’t get involved in someone else’s mess. The truth always comes out. It doesn’t have to be from you. Let the drama be just that, and don’t let it infest your new relationship. Your new partner sounds great, but he’s likely only going to tolerate so much to a point. This could escalate to something you’re not ready to be in, and you drag your partner with you. Focus on your relationship, and leave that one in the dust.
To be that bold about it deserves to be told on
Tell him
Screenshot the ask and send him that.
OP’s comment/posting history seems fishy .. so does this story. Probably BS.
Send him screenshots and to his friends.
He was probably with her while he was with you.
Karma is justice.
Karma is a bitch and clearly your Ex has thrown the Karma Boomerang and hasn’t realized it is coming back at him.
Don’t bother telling him. You’ll just get dragged into drama you don’t need.
Wait for a while before telling your ex. To make sure she does the deed first for evidence gathering and maximum damage.
I would add him to the text.
Tell your ex!
I’m guessing you know your ex well enough to read him. Next time you pick up your dog ask him why he pretended to be his wife or if he thought it would be funny to pretend to set you up as friends (or something like that). If he really appears to be surprised, tell him.
Tell him! Even if things had ended on bad terms I would tell him.
Absolutely tell him! Even if he moved on quickly, it doesn’t sound like he cheated. And you get the chance to do the right thing. Just screenshot them and send them to him. Cheaters should always be caught.
Tell him, I’d tell my worst enemy.
There is no dilemma here, tell him.
Tell him, show the messages. Cheaters never deserve silence!
Your current partner is correct. Do not have anything to do with this nonsense.
I mean , maybe help him cheat and then tell her , cause she’s clearly ok with adulterating. She’ll probably high five you .
My ex was a serial cheater. If any of his numerous women reached out to me like this, I’d laugh and tell everyone but him. And I wouldn’t let her have the satisfaction of a reply.
That is gold! What comes around goes around.
Oh I would definitely tell him. It might be petty but to have your ex wife tell you that your new wife was wanting to cheat would live rent free in his head forever. What a crazy situation.
Tell him, he deserves to know.
Here is my take. His new wife is a skank and could likely bring home an sti ya know the gift that keeps on giving.
I’d just screen shot her message and put hey this is what I was contacted with by your new gal pal and I just wanted you to know I want no part of her games or lying for her and thought you should know. Do what you want with it
Tell him.
As delicious as this sounds for it to be happening to someone like your ex, I would definitely block and walk away……..MJB said it best!….No More Drama!
Perhaps I would send a screenshot and ask him to tell his wife to leave you out of their business, it would depend on how petty I would feel. The smart thing is to just ignore them.
Tell him because eventually in 5 years you’ll see pics of them married maybe kids he looks happy and you’ll wonder to yourself if he would still be woth her had you told him he’s might be happy going through life woth no idea but at least he would know if he stays with her that’s on him not you
Tell him.
It sounds like he’s not a bad person, you just grew apart? There’s no reason for you to want to hurt him.
What?!?! People are wild. Girl I know you have screenshots. Send them to your ex.
I’ve co-parented my dog with my ex for almost 7 years now, most people will never understand why.
Tell him the text and let the chips fall as they may
You have to save and screen shot her message and then tell him before she starts making up stories about you. If she suspects you will tell him, she could try to pre-empt that by telling him you asked her to help cheat on your partner, or that you threatened her, or anything else.
Listen she messaged you to help her cheat. You showed your partner the message. I would screenshot it and send it to your ex. Why because if the shoe was on the other foot wouldn’t you want someone to tell you. Doesn’t matter who the person is if you find out someone is cheating on someone else you tell that person. Why because if you don’t then you are no better then the cheater. Cheaters , liars are worthless people
Tell him. And tell him never give out your number again. Just copy the text and send it to him. And tell.him to make sure she deletes your number.
Tell him and then go back to your life.
Yes tell him, they deserve it
Maybe it’s your ex using her phone to see if you’d do it for some strange reason.
Don’t get involved. He will think you are just stirring things up because of jealousy.
100% tell him and tell current partner that your telling him. Explain to him you can’t stand cheaters.
Kinda seems like she’s implying he cheated with her on you.
What’s it say about YOU that you’re hesitant to tell him?!
Wait…no one else wants to hear more about co-parenting the dog? 😂
This might be one of the few situations I’d advocate against telling the other party. Who really knows what her motives are here? Why let her drag you into the drama with your ex?
I’d just ignore her.
Tell his ass!!
Walk away from this one. There’s no way you won’t be tainted by her mess.
If she felt comfortable asking you that you need to realize what your ex had been telling her about you. F both of them.
It sounds like he did not cheat on you but started dating other people when the divorce was filed? If so, I would tell him, but if he actually cheated, and pox on both their houses and move on. As an aside, she is an idiot.
If he cheated on you, then I’d move on. He’d deserve it. But since he didn’t and you broke up because the relationship was over, then yes. I’d tell him.
TELL your ex lady.
Why wouldn’t you?
Tell him.
This makes no sense. This is a made up story. Who in world would ask this of a husband’s ex? I am shocked by how many people don’t see the lack of logic here.
How will this impact the canine co-parenting?
If your ex wasn’t violent or unfaithful to you during your marriage, then I don’t see why you wouldn’t tell him now. Assuming you still communicate with your ex because you have shared custody / co-parent your dog… then it’s messed up to keep this from him for… ever?
I’d approach it as ambivalent as you can though, so it doesn’t backfire on you. Say it like, “Hey, I don’t know if this is some sick joke or weird test, but leave me out of it.” Then show him the text message exchange with his wife, and then peace out.
Print the dm and send it to him.
Nothing to add here but I co-parented a dog for 14 years. What a time to be alive, huh?
I’d tell him
What flavor of asshole IS your ex?
Because it matters.
Do you have a screenshot? I don’t know if you can delete messages on Instagram, but I’d worry she’s trying to make you out to be crazy because it’s just a crazy thing to ask of someone. NOR, if you have a SS, send it, if not be prepared for her to deny it & what comes with that.
Stay out of it it’s not your mess to clean up. He will eventually find out, and THEY will have to deal with how to move on. He is your ex for a reason. Getting involved would probably open unnecessary doors.
Do not involve yourself. You will look jealous and crazy.
Would you want to know if your SO was cheating on you? If you would, then tell him. If you could care less about cheating in a relationship, then I don’t know what to tell you.
I’d say since yall did end on okay terms to tell him. Send a screen shot and be short. “Hey not one to get into your business but this is what (she) sent me. Please handle your business between yourselves.”
That way it doesn’t show you’re trying to get in the way or break them up. More so brining up a issue you do not want to be saddled with.
Do not get involved … your partner is right in suggesting to walk away from such type of toxic people
Yes I think you should warn him by showing him the message, because without a message you risk getting into problems.
Even if you broke up, no one deserves something like that.
Do what you would have liked him to do for you, if the situation were reversed.
Women always seeking out the bigger D amirite
This seems like a test… she doesn’t like you’re still in his life bc of the dog & is trying to start a fight to be able to cut that tie.
tell him
She sends you a DM out of no where asking you to pretend to hang out? Smells like bullshit. Either she is playing games on him alone, playing games with both of you, or he and she are somehow playing a game with you. Why else would his new wife reach out to you? If his wife wanted to sneak off she couldn’t pretend to hang out with a friend? Doctor’s appointment?
I’d screen shot it, send it to him, tell her no dice deal with your husband cuz he knows and block her.
Op so dumb, should go along with her, free gift card, ur ex husband was a cheater but you prefer to defend him, you might still not get over him
Say, “Sure!”
Then show up to his house when she’s supposed to hang.
Would you want him to tell you if shit was reversed?
Wow, she sucks. I’d tell him.
He might not believe you.
I was cheated on by my ex husband, and I’d still tell him If I was in that situation. It doesn’t matter what he did in the past. Integrity still takes a first seat. How awful if she’s really serious. 🫤
Grab screenshots and let him know. Unless he was abusive toward you or something, there’s no reason to sit idly by while some garden tool nukes his life.
Fuck cheaters all of them
Bro tell him please.
Did he hurt you in some awful way? Doesn’t he deserve to be happy. Just send the screenshot to him.
The worst thing you’re doing right now is even debating telling him…Send those screenshots immediately. She sounds like a literal crazy person. Help a brother out here.
Regardless of the divorce, your loyalty should be to him over her. Tell him.
Don’t tell him, he won’t believe you. Show him the texts and say fyi: do what you will with this. I don’t want to be involved
How you deal with this shows what your character is about.
Did you take a screenshot? Definitely let him know.