I know I shouldn’t be sad. But I am.
My child text me from their dad’s house earlier to tell me they were going to be a big sibling. I burst into tears.
I’m happy for them, I really am.
I’m sad for me and my husband. We’ve been TTC for 2 years with no luck at all. I have PCOS and it’s been a rollercoaster of emotions the last 2 years. We’ve done everything we can without medical intervention to conceive and each month has been utter heartbreak for us.
I guess it’s jealousy more than anything. I can’t be truly happy for my child to be a big sibling because I’m not the one making them a big sibling. How awful is that? I shouldn’t be feeling like this at all, I feel like a horrible person for even thinking this.
I have an appointment with a doctor next week but now I don’t know if I should go because I don’t want to turn my child’s world upside down with another sibling if they’re already having one from his dad’s side.
I’ve been crying for an hour and I have no one to talk to – or at least no one I want to bother with this. My mom told me I should be happy for them and my husband is out for the night so I don’t want to disturb him with my silly, irrational feelings.
Anyway, that’s just my “off my chest” moment. I really hope this sadness and jealousy passes soon.
Comments
Sending you virtual hugs. Totally understand the pain and feelings. A dear friend of mine recently announced their pregnancy. My husband was afraid to upset by telling me. We just had our 2nd miscarriage in a row. I hemorrhaged both times and got very sick so my husband doesn’t want to try again. Luckily we have a child together already. But that child doesn’t erase the loss. And great news for others can still sometimes feel bitter sweet.
Your feelings are rational and normal. I’m so sorry, anyone in your shoes would feel that way. Don’t beat yourself up over normal, human emotions.
The key is to do what you’re doing and fake it to your kid. It’s one of the hardest parts of parenting and you’re killing it.
Your husband may also feel bad because your ex could give you a baby and he hasn’t. That would also be normal, but it’s no one’s fault.
You have to live your life. Go to that appointment
Hey be kind to yourself it’s not easy going through this. You’re just feeling down due to what’s been going on ur personal life. And definitely see the doctor to see if you can have another baby it’s not confusing or won’t make your child’s world upside down at all the more siblings the better right?
You’re allowed to feel the sadness. Let yourself cry but don’t let it consume you, this isn’t what you want your child to see. I will send positive thoughts into the universe for you and your family.
You’re not a horrible person at all.. your feelings are completely valid! Like, it’s okay to feel both happy for your child and heartbroken for yourself. Please don’t think you’re being irrational~ and maybe open up to your husband once he is home. Sending you hugs!
i just wanna say i have siblings on both sides i love equally! so just keep trying!
So you shouldn’t try for another kid because his dad is? OK.
The fact that you feel bad for having those feelings means you’re not a bad person at all. You’re a human being with self awareness and that’s more than most people have. Let yourself feel the feels, but just remember you’re not in competition with anyone else! Go to your appointment, let them know how you’re feeling, and go from there. There are so many ways to help with having a baby these days if you really really really want one, and there is a lot more access to mental health help if you need someone to talk to about this than there ever used to be…
And big sibling will more than likely be okay with two new lil bubs if that’s how it ends up working out!
Hugs from afar!
You can be happy for someone while being sad for yourself.
We tried for 5 years and it wasn’t until we said not trying anymore and we got our son then when he was 5 months we got another. We are very blessed and they are healthy kids.
Go to appointment and see what is said. Your second guessing because your conflicted.
Hugs babes 💖
Go to your appointment. You and current hubby shouldn’t stop trying, unless the 2 of you choose not to.