My ex has been harassing me even after our breakup. During our relationship, he often used me for his own benefit, especially sexually, and he made it very obvious that my feelings didn’t really matter to him. When we broke up, I told him clearly that I wanted nothing more to do with him and asked him to leave me alone forever.
Despite this, he keeps reaching out. He has said multiple times that he will continue contacting me no matter what I say. It makes me feel unsafe, frustrated, and drained. I do not want to engage with him, but I also do not know the best way to protect myself from his harassment.
Comments
Dude, I’m so sorry to hear that u’re dealing with this crap. Ain’t nobody got time for an Ex from Hell. IMO you’ve got every right to feel safe and respected, no effin’ exceptions. Maybe consult legal advice, possibly a restraining order? Always remember, you’re strong af & don’t gotta put up with his BS. Stay safe sis. ✊💯
He’s desperate.
Ignore him completely. Just stop! Most modern cell phones have the option to block numbers/texts. If that doesn’t work, a restraining order will. Dude seems creepy to me. He probably figured out that no other woman is going to tolerate his behavior…….except you. Just don’t engage AT ALL!!
Document all threats and unsolicited communications
Report harassing behavior to the police
If you believe it’s warranted, file for a restraining order
Block number and social media
yeah this is stalking. Doesn’t fit the stereotypical depiction but it’s stalking. Ignore as much as you can and block and if it seems like it’s escalating
Depending on your phone you can block his number manually and then i would block him on all social media. If he starts showing up in person to bug you then i would make a police report and get in contact with an attorney to see what your options are. I know it can be pricey but this is your safety after all
Note that if you block them on an iPhone they can still leave you a voicemail. There are apps you can download to your phone, where you can make it seem like you changed numbers. When they call, they will hear ‘this number is no longer in service – beep’ for specific people who you can select. My friend used this on her ex-coworker who would not stop harassing her, sending emails, texts, calls, voicemails.
Depending on how safe you feel about their reaction to further action, you can reach out to the local authority to request a restraining order. Be cautious if you are concerned about physical retaliation. Potentially change address if possible so that they cannot show up at your place unannounced. Stay safe!
whelp hopefully he loses interest but if he turns stalker id start worrying. the law (cops, detectives) wont help you just so you know.. they’ll just tell you good luck.. keep that in mind when trying to figure shit out
How is he contacting you?
Contact the police and get a restraining order.
It sounds like you’re leaving out details and still entertaining him in some way. If you don’t want contact, block him and file a civil harassment restraining order. He may just want closure, especially if you end things by ghosting him. Someone who doesn’t care about your feelings wouldn’t keep reaching out; he sounds more confused and invested than malicious.
Stop answering him but don’t block him so if he continues to message you – you have proof that he’s harassing you consistently. Do not answer under ANY circumstances, the moment you do he knows he can get a reaction from you – he will escalate and ramp up efforts to do more to get you to respond.
Document everything, dates, times, and places you “bump” into him. Set up cameras at your house – doorbell, check your car for a GPS tracker, take your phone and devices to a computer place and have them check for spyware/key loggers if he ever had access to your devices alone.
If you find any of the messages threatening or if he threatens you in public, or trespasses on your property – call the police immediately. If you feel like it’s already getting out of hand and you feel unsafe – go into your local police station and ask to speak with someone, they can send an officer to explain to him that he’s harassing you and you want it to stop if he doesn’t he will face legal consequences. Get a case number, follow up and make sure they sent someone to talk to him. Keep note of that case number in case you need to refer to it later. The more you report – the bigger the case they can build and you may be able to get a restraining order.
Do not meet up with him, if you run into him in public – shout for help, run away, go near other people. Never go to a secluded second location. Get an emergency contact set up that you can call for help.
If it’s legal for you to carry pepper spray or dog mace, get some. Take a self defense class, learn the basics. It could save your life. Situations like this can escalate quickly, protect yourself and stay safe OP!
Are there any posts on here that aren’t bots?
Time to show him that the only thing he’s getting from you is silence! Time to upgrade your security and hit ‘mute’ on his drama!
Just keep hitting that block button. Stay strong and keep that distance!
Get a restraining order and block his phone number.
Block him or turn off notifications for him. You can’t change his behavior. You can only change yours.