This is my second post about this but basically I was with my boyfriend for a year but on our one year anniversary he didn’t get me anything and he dumped me the next day. He was with me for the passing of my mom so this whole situation just has made me so emotional. We broke up like the beginning of June and I found out thru mutual friends he had already been bringing multiple girls around them and I hate to say that I creeped but I did. He’s already together with one of them he (22) and the girl just graduated high school 😦😦. How do I process this best? I still think about him all the time but this is so wild. I feel so bad for her but is it possible he’s actually over me? Even if he is why someone so young? I just want advice on how to heal from this
Edit rq: I know it’s not good for me to think about him and I need to focus on myself I’m more looking for how to heal in the best way without just moving on? I’m honestly not capable to talk to a man for a long time I feel like and I was wondering how to heal from a relationship without just finding distractions using other people?
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Backup of the post’s body: This is my second post about this but basically I was with my boyfriend for a year but on our one year anniversary he didn’t get me anything and he dumped me the next day. He was with me for the passing of my mom so this whole situation just has made me so emotional. We broke up like the beginning of June and I found out thru mutual friends he had already been bringing multiple girls around them and I hate to say that I creeped but I did. He’s already together with one of them he (22) and the girl just graduated high school 😦😦. How do I process this best? I still think about him all the time but this is so wild. I feel so bad for her but is it possible he’s actually over me? Even if he is why someone so young? I just want advice on how to heal from this
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No way out but to go thru.
Spend time with friends, family, working and focusing on you. Avoid anything or anyone associated with him.
Going to be a day by day process
Turn your focus on yourself, and away from your ex boyfriend. It will take some time to get over the breakup, but take it a day at a time, and use your time for yourself (work through your feelings, try a new hobby, see friends…).
Thinking about your ex’s activities and motivations isn’t productive.
Hey OP, I’ve been in your shoes and it’s the kind of thing you really do have to go through the emotions you’re feeling right now to get to the other side.
I can’t recommend enough watching a video from Heidi Priebe like this one:
How to move on without closure.
Stop thinking about it… just do something for yourself.
As a former boyfriend who basically moved on within a month or so after 8 years, it’s cause I was mentally checked out and done with her shit years before that. I finally felt like I could breathe without her starting a fight
She was mad when she found out I moved on, but I didn’t give 2 shits. That was her issue to deal with it. So you gotta just find a way to not care. He’s not your responsibility anymore
The only way to heal from this is with time. Stop following him to find out what he’s doing. He has moved on. He was probably checked out of the relationship for a while which is why he’s seeing other people now. He is over you. Now it’s time for you to move on. Keep busy. Find new hobbies. Go to the gym etc.
What you have found out was, he is a crappy person. You are obviously better off without him. How do you process it? Well by realizing you are better off and now have an opportunity to work on yourself and your life. He is not the answer to your happiness. You will eventually look back at this and be relieved that you no longer have him in your life.
My ex was in your position. She hadn’t gotten over her crappy ex when we met. Even though she said she hated him because he treated her poorly, she cheated on me with him. Don’t be that woman. Think about what you want out of life and what you are willing to settle for.
Everyone is different. You cannot expect people to deal with situations the same way you would. If it’s just the thoughts you need to manage, tell yourself whatever you need to hear. If it helps you to think he never cared about you and the relationship was a lie, then say that to yourself. If you need to know he you mattered and he’s just distracting himself by dating people he doesn’t care about, tell yourself that. As long as you’re not contacting him or following him online, it’s no biggie if you’re lying to yourself for comfort.
Girl focus on self care. Take yourself on dates and really just treat yourself to loving yourself the way he should’ve
You need to stop looking into him, tell your friends you would prefer them to not share information about him. Find a project a hobby, declutter your home, anything you can do to distract yourself from wanting to find out what he is doing.
Unfortunately, AFAIK you just have to ride it out. It will get easier over time. Sometimes it will take weeks, sometimes it will take years to actually be over them.
Lean on people who will listen to you talk about how sad you are. Preface it by acknowledging that you’re just needing someone to listen so that they don’t start feeling the stress of providing answers all the time.
It also helps to pick a new hobby and immerse yourself in it. It helps create a sense of a new life rather than going through the same routine you did.
Good luck, I know it sucks and feels like an empty pit of despair and there’s no opening, no escape, but you will get out. It just takes time.
Then you should move on too.
Keep yourself incredibly busy!
He was in that relationship before you broke up to move on that fast. I’m so sorry I know you’re hurt try the very best to take care of you, to heal.
A lot of times the person who ends the relationship has been thinking about it for some time. So for him moving on was easier because he probably decided a month or two before. He actually broke up with you that he wasn’t happy.
You were surprised by the announcement and it caught you off guard and you’re still processing. He was processing while he was still dating you if I had to guess.
If you are going through he’ll, keep going! Move on with your life and don’t worry about him.
He was probably planning this for a while so there was a longer grieving period, but it was while you were still together
Some people can’t be alone or regroup, they bounce from relationship to relationship. It could be because he’s young or it could be a character flaw. But it shouldn’t concern you. Just block accounts and ask friends not to talk to you about him while you process this.
Time heals all wounds.
What are you stuck on? He ended it quickly, didn’t show remorse and moved on. What is there to grieve? He’s shown his true colors.
It’s not much you can do, OP. Time is needed with this one.
Sure, you can sleep good, eat, get your vitamins and stay hydrated. It will help minimize stress hormones quite a bit. Add some work out or long walks everyday, and it will help regulate anxiety and such. By so, your brain will start producing positive feelings soon enough, and the negative once’s will get less often and less heavy and disappear. It’s a matter of a few weeks to months and months and months depending on what you do yourself and not.
Burn outs, break ups, depression, and everything else with big impact on your body and mind works exactly the same. Inside, I mean. So do your best in every way and you will feel great in no time, stay at home doing nothing and this will continue for months.
I get that it bothers you, that it was so fast, he probably had her lined up before it ended. But either way, it ended way before in his head then in reality.
Losing your mom and getting hit with this kind of breakup must be incredibly hard. That is so much grief to carry at once, anyone would feel shattered. I am so sorry that you have to deal with this!
A man who walks away right after your anniversary, after everything you have been through, and then starts parading around with a fresh high school graduate? That is immaturity, cowardice, and honestly a big neon red flag. People like that do not move on, they run away. There is a big difference. He didn’t process the break up, he didn’t sit with it. He slapped a band-aiud on his guilt and called it “moving on”. Unfortunately for the other girl, she is not the band-aid.
You are doing the right thing asking how to heal without using someone else. That shows a level of emotional maturity that he clearly doesn’t have.
Cry if you need to. Journal. Pray. Rage-clean your kitchen if it helps. Rebuild your routines. And give yourself permission to mourn — not just him, but the future you thought you were building with him.
Healing isn’t pretty. It’s lonely sometimes. But trust me when I say this: the peace that comes from knowing you didn’t numb the pain, but actually faced it and grew from it? That peace is priceless