My ex once said that women who like it rough were sexually assaulted

r/

Wish I was joking…As someone who was SA’d this felt like a blow.

Comments

  1. mrapplewhite Avatar

    We are a weird species. Trauma makes us react in all types of ways. That being said I can see where this would line up but I am no expert nor do I have a dog in the show kinda deal ya feel. I wouldn’t take it as an attack the comments were probably out of ignorance more than malice. If people can’t relate then they flat out can’t relate so they talk out of ignorance. I could be wrong but it makes sense from each side too I can also see where you might feel attacked by what was said but you can’t it get to you

  2. Mission_Antelope_485 Avatar

    Good thing they’re an ex for a reason.

  3. Alternative_Print279 Avatar

    I read once that people that were sexyally assaulted prefer dominant positions in order to “have” control of the situation ( and the trauma). Personally, I think generalizing is a mistake, each person reacts differently.

  4. polarparadoxical Avatar

    Humans are diverse and want or enjoy a variety of different things sometimes for entirely different reasons.

    Objectifying a group based on one’s personal, limited experience is probably not the best way to go, and it’s probably a good idea to communicate and be open with people and/or partners instead playing the jump to conclusions game.

  5. squimd Avatar

    i’ve never been abused sexually and i want my box to be destroyed🤷‍♀️ he’s just a stupid wrong idiot

  6. Boss_Braunus Avatar

    There is some psychological data that suggests people reenact trauma they’ve experienced. Most notable perhaps is that pedophiles are more likely to have been victims of pedophilia, compared to the general population. Reenactment doesn’t mean you have the same role though, as in the case of a pedophile who was child-victim becoming adult-abuser.
    A person could feel that reenacting trauma with the role reversed allows them to feel powerful, whereas before they felt helpless. But reenacting the trauma where they inhabit the same role, but with consent, could also be a way of reestablishing a sense of control in a situation where they didn’t have control before.
    It’s further complicated by the reality that not every SA is without physical pleasure for the victim. This can feel like a betrayal for the victim, that their body would respond with arousal to such a horrific experience. Thus reenacting it within their control could be a way of reestablishing agency over arousal responses that had their “wiring” twisted by trauma.
    Of course some people just like rough sex. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.