My ex texted me at 2am asking to get back together
We broke up like 6 months ago and it was very messy. She said she needed space to figure herself out and that we wanted different things. I was pretty heartbroken but eventually accepted it and started moving on. I even went on a few dates with other people recently. Last night she sends me this long text about how she made a mistake and misses what we had. She wants to meet up and talk about giving it another shot. Part of me is excited because I really did love her but another part of me is like why now? What changed?
I’m worried she’s just lonely or things didn’t work out with whoever she left me for. I don’t want to be someone’s backup plan but I also don’t want to miss out on getting back together if she’s serious about making it work this time.
My friends are split on what I should do. Some say people can change and others say she’ll just hurt me again. I know I need to decide for myself but I’m honestly confused about what I want. Should I at least hear her out or is that just asking for trouble?
My ex texted me at 2am asking to get back together
r/Advice
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Consider meeting just to talk, but set clear boundaries for yourself first.
she just couldint find anyone better then you so shes coming back lmfao, tell her to kick rocks
You can’t jump back into a messy fire just because it flickers again at 2am. Hear her out but only if you’re ready to demand real change not just an apology wrapped in loneliness.
Could’ve been a case of drunk texting.
Nope. Nothing good happens after midnight.
Horny, drunk, desperate, sad, lonely, could be all manner of things. You could see what she says in the sober light of day.
The one she left you for left her. Do not reengage
Hear her out but make no decision for at least a few weeks. Find out why the sudden change of heart. You’re right, you don’t want to be a back up and chances are she’ll do it again.
Maybe she was with another and things didn’t work out?
The 2 AM should be your first clue. If she asked you to go for coffee where she explained why she left you and what she has learned since, I might think differently. But a 2 AM text is not a serious attempt to reconcile – it is a sign of someone who is lonely and looking for a backup plan.
Never search for happiness at the same place where you lost it.
Maybe she got relationship with someone who were really bad with her .
Or deep soul wounded people need time to realize what they lost .
Or shes just panicking and wants back the safety emotional space. Assume u were good to her.
She was in a state during the relationship she could find someone better , but actually she realized she dont .
Or shes just alone.
Or just want reassurence by you, that shes worthy for you.
You can meet but set biundaries .
If shes a jezebel its dangerous.
Those kind of women are like black holes and gonna grab you back deep.
I’d be curious to know how much “exploring” she did with other guys.
Pure speculation here but I’d suspect she had her eye on one specific guy who she elevated to some odd status and when she let him know she was interested, he either had his fun with her, or he turned out to be a dud.
I’d definitely get as much info about what she was up to duing those 6 months as you can to see if you are her “safe spot” where she can build her confidence back up. I would do this through text and wait a long, long time before agreeing to meet up in person, if ever.
But a 2am text is her likely “drunk depressed” and has her missing the last guy who treated her well.
“things didn’t work out with whoever she left me for” BINGO!
Speaking personally as someone who lost ‘the one who got away’ I think you just need to listen to your heart. If you feel like there’s a chance she’s the one, you can be brave and give it a go. We don’t always work on a specific timeline. I can totally understand everyone who says to stay away from her, and yeah maybe you’ll get hurt, but if it’s for love then it’s worth the risk. Do what your heart tells you.
Nope. Don’t look back.
I really doubt that 2am text is a result of a long self-reflection and actual desire to try again. Much more probable that it was her being sad, lonely, drunk, or whatever. But honestly, if my ex did that – I would. I know I shouldn’t, but I’d at least hear what she has to say and make my own decisions after that. You do you.
> if she’s serious about making it work this time.
She’s not, at least not with out some very solid acknowledgements on her part and evidence of changed behavior and worldview.
I’d not entertain even hearing her out. Say thanks for the acknowledgement and closure. If you’d like, this is also space for you to talk about the hurt and pain you’ve experienced since the breakup, but you’ve moved on and you wish her well*
*even if you don’t, just be kind.
Streets. Leave her there.
2am is the perfect time to show someone who you really are. And she showed you she couldn’t do better so now she needs your attention back. See how 12pm her is doing and what she feels
First It was just a drunken text so I wouldn’t put too much weight into it, your ex, once sober, might have second thoughts at this point. Second, you guys broke up for a reason, and according to you it was very messy, why would you want to go back to that situation? Move on …
She found out whoever she dropped you for wasn’t prince charming. She is an ex for a reason. Leave her in the rearview
She’s goonin
Honest answer? She either thought she found someone better buy he fucked her and bounced out or she just wanted to givk other dudes and realized how much you did for her so wants you to come back. Either way she definitely was getting fucked we whole time thats for damn sure. Bro its been 6 months dont get back involved with that chick. She will lose whatever respect she has for you and do it again next time an attractive guy comes along.
Why now, what changed?
I’ll tell you exactly: Back then she thought she deserves more or better than you. Now, after trying for a while, she come to the realization that her “market value” is not as high as she thought, hence she tries to use you as a fallback.
Tell her to fuck off.
Ignore
If you want to give it a chance, sit down and talk with her, ask all the questions you need to, and say what you need to say. If she’s really interested, she’ll listen and open up with honesty.
I’m glad my ex boyfriend gave us another shot. He’s been my husband for 15 years now. Sometimes they really do need the space. Ever heard the saying “a drunk person’s word are a sober person’s thoughts”? Could be the case. I think you shouldn’t get your hopes too high, but you should have a conversation with her during regular business hours. This could be a good thing! Now let me add, if she cheated or was disrespectful to your or your family in the past, don’t do it again.
Instead of just straight up getting back together with her without discussion, I think the whole point of meeting up and talking about giving it another shot, is to allay these concerns of yours. Talk to her and see as best as you can if she is legit.
So the Chad she was chasing threw her back?
She finished suckin and fuckin and found it to be too messy vs comfy old you so now she wants stability again