Hi guys,
I need an advice because im not sure thats normal. I have been together with my boyfriend for four months now, and I have had a constantly reacurring problem with him where he is way too lustful. I know he isnt using me for my body because he is genuinely interested in me as a person, however it seems like he wants and needs to have sex with me all the time when im with him, he is turned on all the time. Even when i tell him im not feeling that well mentally or whatever and he comes to cheer me up and give me flowers, he still decided to ask me to have sex and then got pissed when i declined, saying he is mad at himself for not predisposing me to feel better and wanna have sex or mad at himself for not driving straight to his place instead of suggesting a bar when i was feeling down, again, to have sex. Please give me advice
Comments
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We’d like to take this time to remind users that:
We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors
We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.
Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)
ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.
No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users “friend-zoned”, referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me’s, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.
All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don’t get a free pass.
Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned.
What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, “body counts” or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.
If you have any questions, please message the mods
This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
If you have told him you don’t like this behavior and he continues to do it, he doesn’t care how you feel or your boundaries.
He clearly doesn’t care about your needs and boundaries. Leave, more communication isn’t gonna solve this if he already ignored your boundaries plenty times
>Even when i tell him im not feeling that well mentally or whatever and he comes to cheer me up and give me flowers, he still decided to ask me to have sex and then got pissed when i declined
Um, this is classic Using You For Your Body shit, OP.
Guarantee this guy’s got terabytes of porn on his pc and phone.
He is using you for your body. He doesn’t like you, constantly harassing you should tell you that.
Why does every commenter say leave instead of clear cut communication? Reddit. Just talk to him and say it’s negatively impact your image towards him.
He doesnt watch porn. Also i did communicate it with him and he is trying to withold himself much more than before but its still alot. and he DOES get pissed if we dont have sex even if he respects my wish not to
Some guys have pretty crazy libidos that can make them act aggressive and generally shitty when it comes to sex (though it has usually stabilized and they’ve learned some self-control by 27). Sounds like he is not doing a good job handling or taking responsibility for it.
If you plan to stay with him, get comfortable with telling him to go jerk off when you don’t want any sexual activity.
Dump him. He’s pressuring you. Anyone who would get mad if you don’t have sex with them isn’t a safe person to be around. Seriously, it’s only been four months: why are you having trouble understanding that he’s not for you?