My boyfriend and I have been together for 6.5 years. We are both 22 years old and got together at 15 years old. We’ve lived together for the last 2 years and graduated from highschool in 2022. Since graduating I’ve completed my associates and am working 40 hours a week at a secure job. My boyfriend dropped out of college and got dropped from fincial aid due to failing so many classes. He works at a job he loves, but works about 30 hours a week.
My boyfriend and I cannot stop arguing. It’s not even big arguments or something specific to resolve. It just that my boyfriend is unreliable and irresponsible. It’s been a theme of our entire relationship. We are great friends and lovers, but bad partners. He constantly lets me down and doesn’t do what’s best for our relationship. I’m just frustrated because we can always make one another laugh, but I’m so tired of arguing. He keeps saying he’s going to work on it, and sometimes he does make progress. It just feels like it’s going no were.
TLDR; my boyfriend is not being responsible or reliable and it’s all we argue about. He says things will improve, and sometimes they do, but not always.
Comments
A lot of people are shitheads in their early 20s. He’s a shithead in his early 20s.
Start setting more strict boundaries or actually punishing him for not doing anything because otherwise you’re looking at your life in the future.
You two met as teenagers and are now adults. It’s rare for two people to have the same goals and dreams as you progress into your twenties.
The good news is you get to decide your future.
There’s no magic words you’re missing, here, that you can say to change him into a good partner.
You can accept that this is who he is, or you can break up and make room in your life for someone you can rely on. Maybe you could even still be friends. But you can’t make him responsible.
>It just that my boyfriend is unreliable and irresponsible. It’s been a theme of our entire relationship. […] He constantly lets me down and doesn’t do what’s best for our relationship. I’m just frustrated because we can always make one another laugh, but I’m so tired of arguing. He keeps saying he’s going to work on it […]. It just feels like it’s going no were [sic].
Oh, sounds like he sucks then?
>We are great friends and lovers, but bad partners.
Man, I hope this tendency of people saying “we’re incompatible” when specifically one person is the problem and would be the problem no matter who they were dating dies.