Me (F24) and my bf (M24) have been dating for about 3 years. Last time we were having lunch and he was showing me something on his phone, then I saw an album of my pictures, I clicked and we went through them. Then, I clicked on all pictures and he grabbed his phone and jokingly said let me check if there is anything bad and then returned the phone and said no it’s good. I opened the recycle bin folder and he immediately took the phone from my hand, went mad and deleted all of the pictures there. I didn’t see what was in there, I could only see some screenshots.
I asked him multiple times, but he said he won’t tell me and some things need to be private. I know he is not cheating, it’s not about it. But the idea that he is hiding something from me makes me anxious. I asked if his friends know it, he said nobody, not even his dad. I asked if I would get mad if Id see it and he said yes “cause it’s you”…I always thought there shouldn’t be any secrets in a relationship. Is it normal to feel this anxious even if I don’t think he’s cheating , just because he’s clearly hiding something and won’t talk about it?
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If you trust him, let him be. It could be an engagement ring. Bring it up again in a few months.
Or just be straight forward with him and tell him the anxiety is eating you up and you need to know!
Of course you’re anxious, if it was nothing, he’d just tell you.
Secrets don’t vanish because you say “it’s private.” They fester. And the “not even my dad knows” line? Classic red flag.
Not all secrets are cheating, but if it’s eating at you this much, that’s on him. You deserve at least some trust or a reason, not this shady silence.