Just to give you context: I’m vacationing with my boyfriends family. Both his parents, an older brother and his new girlfriend.
We were on this boat we have to take to go to and back from the beach. His brother was sitting across from us, but behind his new girlfriend, and he was looking at her in such a lovingly way from behind. My boyfriend pointed it out to me in a whisper, and immediately after said out loud “haha, you have this really black thick hair coming out of your chin (as he grabbed it with his fingers), it’s your little beard”
The contrast of the interactions made me go quiet as I held in the tears. I lowered my face, because as I said, we were on this boat and I was sitting facing his family, and I didn’t want to make a scene. But as I lowered my face I immediately started to cry. My boyfriend just kept calling my name, and as I didn’t answer because I know I’d start crying for real, he just said “I’m sorry, I didn’t know that was one of your insecurities”.
The worst thing is: tomorrow we’re celebrating our first year together. How do I approach this?
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Tomorrow is your anniversary? That means that this is your bf on his best behaviour. Yikes.
I don’t know OP. All I know about your boyfriend is that he likes to make fun of you, and then when you’re hurt, he makes it out like it’s your fault for feeling insecure.
I’m sure there are good reasons why you’d stay with him a whole year, but they’re not in the post.
Okay, weird hairs like that will pop up from time to time for you because your body actually makes a little testosterone of its own and he should be glad, the T supercharges your sex drive. So you shouldn’t be embarrassed for yourself at all, it’s part of being a woman and for those who know = “very sexy”.
He was an ass for announcing it to everyone. How would he react if you announced to the assembled crowd that he wears lacy bras to bed, or he has hobbit feet (I was going to say “inadequate manhood” but that would create problems all its own so don’t go there)? It’s embarrassing to be called out in public, and he embarrassed you with his unfortunate comment.
He could have whispered “do you know you have a funny hair growing on your chin?” and let you go to the bathroom and take care of it, but he chose to shame you in front of everyone instead. That reveals one of two things, he’s either a) stupidly ignorant about relationships and rules of polite society or b) he really is a cruel person you need to break up with. If “a” you can educate him and maybe recondition him into an acceptable BF, but if “b” he’s already shamed you in public and if you stick around he’ll just go on doing it so why put up with public humiliation?
Only you can say if he’s A or B. Choose.
Any person who puts you down/makes fun of you especially in front of others is not worth being with.
Making jokes like these …is like he tries to embarass you. I wouldn’t tolerate that kind of behaviour of my partner.
Why approach it? Why not just walk the other way? It’s only been a year, don’t waste another.
That was terribly cruel. It’s the complete opposite of what I would want in a romantic partner.
He sounds thoughtless as opposed to deliberately cruel but that’s no excuse. Who wants a thoughtless partner?
You really want to grow old with a man like that? That’s the only question you should be asking yourself.
It’s only been a year dump him and find someone who treats you like his brother treats his girlfriend
“I’m sorry I didn’t realize it was one of your insecurities” isn’t an apology it’s a half assed attempt to make you feel bad for him being a royal jerk
Leave. Seriously, this guy is a POS.
It wasn’t in a funny way. It was public and in front of his family. It was meant to belittle and embarrass you. Leave him! He is a jerk!