Hi Reddit, I could really use some advice right now. I’m 21F, a fulltime student living on my own. Things were really tight financially between school, rent, and basic survival, I was constantly stressed about money.
A few months ago, I started an OnlyFans. It’s not explicit mostly lingerie and teasing content. I’m super careful, and honestly, it’s been life changing. For the first time in a while, I have some financial breathing room. I can actually sleep at night without panicking about bills.
But here’s the issue: my family is very conservative and religious. I knew they wouldn’t approve, so I never told them. It wasn’t to be sneaky just didn’t want to deal with the judgment or drama. I’ve never asked them for money and I’v always handled my own responsibilities.
Well… someone apparently found out and told my mom. Now it’s blown up into a full family scandal. I’ve been called everything from lost to sl*tty to a disgrace. My mom says I’m embarrassing the family. My uncle told me I’m throwing away my dignity for money.
I tried to explain that I’m not doing anything dangerous or shameful. I’m careful, I set boundaries, and I feel empowered by the control I have over my life now. But they’re not hearing it. To them, I’ve basically “sold my soul.”
I understand that by not telling them, I might’ve made it worse or made them feel betrayed, but I also feel like… this is my life. I’m not hurting anyone. I’m not asking them to approve or support it I just wanted to take care of myself on my own terms.
Now I’m stuck between wanting to live my truth and trying to not completely destroy my relationship with my family. I don’t even know what to say to them at this point.
How do I move forward? Should I try to fix this or just accept that they may never understand?
Any advice or perspective is welcome.
Comments
you just did what you had to do to stay afloat when no one else was helping. it hurts that they don’t understand, but you deserve to feel safe, stable, and proud of how far you’ve come.
I think at this point you need to give them room and time to try and understand the situation. Obviously this is all very new to them but at the end of the day you are completely right it is your body your life and ultimately your choice. It is completely up to you what you do with it. However that being said depending on your religion and your family’s religious beliefs You have to be open to the possibility that they may not accept this and may not want to have contact with you because of this.
ultimately it is your choice what you choose to do and sadly no one here can answer that for you.
You’re an adult. You can make your own choices. I hope you aren’t surprised by your family’s reaction. Don’t expect that to change. Up to you which is more important to you.
When I needed more $, I got a higher paying job. If you choose to not do that (and no, I didn’t say it would be easy), that’s your decision.
You should accept the fact that they may never understand. This is a very common reaction when someone starts sex work.
You should also prepare yourself for when other people find out. Future boyfriends, employers, etc
Stop trying to make them understand a decision that you made as an adult. It’s frankly none of their business.
Drop the rope
Don’t worry about it. It’s your life and you can do whatever you want with it. You shouldn’t be dependent on the opinions of others. If your loved ones love you, they will accept it. Hang in there, my friend.❤️❤️❤️
I think it’s you who doesn’t understand the shame that you have brought upon your family. Clearly, you weren’t careful enough a out protecting your identity.
You’re an adult and get to do what you want, all the more power to you, but actions have consequences and this is one of them.
“I’ve been called everything from lost to sl*tty to a disgrace. My mom says I’m embarrassing the family. My uncle told me I’m throwing away my dignity for money.”
They are correct