Throwaway since some family members know my reddit account. It happened 5 years ago but it still feels so fresh. I know no one in my family would believe me and I know for damn sure if they did, they’d make fun of me.
I (25 m) was raped and sexually assaulted by my biolgical father at multiple points. It started when I was about 18. He’d always been an abusive monster but it was after my mom had to leave because she couldn’t stand being around him and my brother got kicked out that he pointed all his aggression at me. Everyday it felt like walking on eggshells. No matter what I said or did, it always set him off. Constant screaming matches and just feeling like he’d snap and kill me. I remember one day after I had taken a shower, he cornered me as I exited the bathroom and made me take my towel off. He fondled me, got close to my face and called me numerous slurs. He said I deserved this as he squeezed my balls and made me say I love him.
Form there the abuse only got worse. He anally prenetrated me, made me strip for him and tell him what a dirty little queer I was. I just had to take it because there was no way out. No one to help and no one to hear me scream. It hurts even more knowing some of my family still associate with him.
Comments
I’m so sorry that happened to yo. Your father should be punished and the best you can do is to tell your family about it no matter the outcome.
im so so so sorry. You didnt deserve that at all
When it comes to the family you need to figure out what you want from them. My family adores my father. He was perfect outside the home. And I made it my mission to drag his name through the mud.
People ask about my father and I tell them that I cut him off after the years of abuse (explained in uncomfortable detail). I make sure everyone hears me and knows how I feel. Sometimes they say “He did it for your own good” and I’ll attack them with “making excuses for hurting your own children, disgusting filth.”
It’ll take me years but I’m going to make sure if that monster doesn’t die alone, at least the only thing everyone will be thinking about is him being an abuser.
And I know it’s disheartening not being supported after what you may tell them, but I’ve noticed that most of my family has some building discomfort. Kids don’t want to be around him because they’re creeped out, some people are a little awkward around him and he can feel it.
The most important thing to him was what people thought of him. Unfortunately for him I’m just getting started.
Tangent: I have a lot of psych issues that I will live with for the rest of my life. You do too. Getting them diagnosed will save you years of trouble and confusion.