I’m (28F) completely shattered right now and don’t know where to turn. I’ve been with my fiancé (30M) for 5 years, engaged for 1, and we were supposed to get married in three months. Everything seemed perfect – we have a house together, shared friends, and I thought we were building a future.
Last night, he sat me down and confessed that about 6 months ago, he had a one-night stand with my best friend (27F) of over 10 years. He said it was a “drunk mistake” at a party I couldn’t attend because I was working late. But it gets worse: she’s pregnant, and it’s his. She confirmed it with a paternity test already, and she’s keeping the baby.
I feel betrayed on every level. My best friend? The person I confided in about everything? And now there’s a child involved that ties them together forever. My fiancé swears it was only once, that he loves me, and wants to make it work – even suggesting we raise the baby together as a “family.” But how can I trust him again? And my “friend” hasn’t even apologized; she just texted me saying “we need to talk about co-parenting.”
I’m spiraling. Do I call off the wedding? Confront her? Should I try therapy with him, or is this unforgivable? Has anyone been through something like this? Please, any advice would help – I can’t eat, sleep, or think straight.
My Fiancé Just Admitted He Cheated on Me with My Best Friend – And Now She’s Pregnant. What Do I Do?
r/Advice
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Damn girl, I can’t even start to imagine WTF you’re going through. But listen, ain’t nobody deserve this level of betrayal, ya know? Screw “drunk mistakes” or “one-time things.” The trust? It’s shattered, kaput. And then ‘co-parenting’ like it’s just a casual chat over brunch? Nah, man.
IMO you gotta drop these two like they’re hot garbage, ’cause that’s exactly what they are. Might hurt like hell now, but fast forward 5 years, you’re gonna thank yourself for dodging this bullet.
Stay strong, sis. Remember: You deserve better, way freaking better.
yeah this is pretty fucked icl
I think you need to take some time away to think about it atleast cause it’s a decision that’s gonna change your life path massively.
Personal opinion and i’m usually against the whole reddit “DUMP HIMMM” but in this case, i think you do need to get rid of these 2. Unless you can see yourself happily being able to deal with all of this, then it’s not gonna work.
Kinda bs excuse saying it was a drunk mistake – i don’t get drunk and my dick just accidentally falls into my gfs best friends vagina – that happens with intent. Sounds like he was gonna hide that for life too until she got pregnant.
Really shit situation
My heart breaks for you. My best friend went through the same thing, her best friend slept with her husband. It caused my friend to have broken heart syndrome and she almost died. She did not leave him right away, and I believe that caused her to have BHS. With all due respect, leave those pieces of garbage, and move on in life. Please get some therapy and maybe do an intensive yoga retreat in Peru like my friend did. You will come back renewed and rejuvenated. Reinvent yourself and be happy and carefree.
Please really do the therapy thing, as my friend never did and to this day she has major trust issues with the men she has dated. I want you to never let your trusting loving heart become tainted. Cheating has nothing to do with you and everything to do with your ex and your former friend.
If you are in California, I can beat their asses for you. I love you and want the best for you. Leave now, and never look back. Be okay with not being okay and okay with canceling the wedding and do not care about how things will look to others.
Leave them to each other. Better off without people like that in your life
Imagine the horror of your husband raising a child from an affair with your best friend and the situation being a constant betrayal between the two ppl you should have trusted the most with all your heart.
Imagine, alcohol or not, they placed themselves in a compromising position, with your wedding coming up, risking that if you ever found out, you would be utterly devastated.
Now imagine there’s a blameless child involved that will invoke feelings of resentment, from you subconsciously because they are evidence that your best friend and your husband decided that 3 min of pleasure was more important than a lifetime commitment.
If you have the guts and mental fortitude to stomach this obstacle course every day of your life with these individuals then by all means get married and keep her as your maid of honor.
I’m so sorry OP. I hope she feels ashamed of herself. She can’t even apologize?! Fucking pathetic.
You should leave your fiance. Get tested since he put your health at risk and you don’t know with how many people. Please find a trauma therapist and find your peace. You deserve so much better from the people in your life.
Updateme
I’ve put up with a lot of shit from men but there’s no way around this. Thank the lord you didn’t marry him. Cancel the wedding, start planning separation.
He will probably get together with her as soon as you leave.
Call off the wedding. Cut ties to both of them. Sell the house and TELL your shared friends why this is happening before they spin this. They did this on purpose. She might have actively tried to get him before.
You will hurt and be angry for a long time, but get out of the situation. Your fiance is a massive AH and you really need to make the cut sooner rather than later. the AUDACITY of suggesting you raise his affair baby with him.
1st thing: Call off the wedding. Why would you want to continue after such maximum betrayal! Cheating is one thing, but he #1 cheated on you with your best friend #2 didnt think about your health and chose not to use protection, and #3 he busted inside her and got her pregnant. Fuck that. And to make matters worse, Hoe ass BFF hasn’t even apologized to me that telling she’s not sorry. He wants you to stick around to help raise his affair child. That’s fukn nuts. His 1st child is not with you but with your best friend! What makes one not think that when your not around they might fuck around again, since shes now considered the mother of his child. Feelings can grow when a couple cherish and love such a thing a share together. Is he going to be in the delivery room? He’s sighing the birth certificate. When she gonna put him on child support ? This is one hot mess. Fyck that and fuck this. I’d fukn pack my shit and get out you need time to process all this chaos that these 2 people have brought into your life so sorry and good luck
He didn’t come to you and confess on the day after the “drunken mistake” – he only came to you when he knew it was about to come to light and he couldn’t lie his way out of it. I’d be very surprised if that was the one and only time that he cheated – it was just the only time that had serious consequences which forced him to confess.
The best way forward seems to be to just end things with both of them. Short term heartbreak and hassle, especially with selling the house, but longterm peace of mind and happiness. If you stay with him, you will never be able to trust him again, so you’ll be that paranoid neurotic wife that always checks his whereabouts and snoops through his smartphone if he worked late. And you’ll have his child around as a constant reminder of his betrayal. You’re young, you can start over and make your own family with someone new.