My (25F) dogs killed my cat. I don’t know if my relationship or family will be the same again. Technically they’re my fiancés (36M) dogs.
We have a six year old and another on the way. I’ve had my cat for about 1.5-2 years. When I met my fiancé nearly a year ago, he had just adopted his fourth rescue dog.
When we were first dating I got the impression that he did a good job taking care of and keeping in order 4 dogs with health/behavior problems. The longer we’ve been together though I’ve started to wonder if he’s fit to care for them, and realized that he only kept the last two (the two females with the worst cases of neuroticism) because he never really looked to rehome them with someone more capable.
I love him but he lets his dogs rule his life while at the same time falling short of their health needs (tough to keep a regular food supply, none of them are vaccinated).
Basically he and his dogs moved in with me and my daughter and our cat 7-8 months ago because his home flooded and he can’t afford to repair it. The cat stays separated on one side of the house (bedrooms & bathrooms) and the dogs on the otherside (common/sitting areas and kitchen). They roam the house together when me or my fiancé are around to watch them but we’ve never had problems. Sometimes the cat tries to hide in the laundry room in between the divide in order to stay in the louder (dog) side of the house but we usually catch him and put him back where he belongs.
Two days ago my fiancé was at work and I went out to run an errand with my daughter. I was gone 45-60 minutes tops. When I came home all the dogs were riled up and acting strange. When I walked into the dining room I found my “baby boy” kitty stiff and dead under the table. There was blood and fur stuck all over the floor. I called my fiancé and he took an hour or so to get home, so I told him to meet me at my childhood home where I was going to bury my cat. He got there angry that I didn’t wait for him at the house. I told him I couldn’t sit there with my pet where he died any longer than I already had and that I couldn’t stand to be around the dogs right now. He’s not been very understanding of that or many of my other feelings/grief since then.
He’s been turning on me and calling me nasty things in front of the kid. In my grief, I’ve turned right back on him and said horrible things too. I don’t know what to do. I never meant for them to be alone together but at the same time I’ve been already having concerns about the dogs with the new baby on the way. I’m about 5 months pregnant and I can’t fathom anywhere in this house being safe for my baby to crawl or learn to walk without a dog pummeling and biting him. I don’t know what to do. My fiancé is ready to leave me and the kids and take the dogs and be on his own. He said initially that if it comes to that then he chooses the dogs over us. He’s had one of them for 13 years so I can’t honestly say what’d I’d do in his position. I’m so broken hearted. I feel like I lost all my fur babies in one hour.
S/N: One of the dogs is very spontaneously and bit a hole through my daughter’s lip a few months ago when she hugged my fiancé at the dinner table. TLDR: my fiancés dogs killed my cat and bit my daughter in the face on a separate occasion and I’m beginning to think they shouldn’t live with us when our new baby is born in a few months. Do I let him stay and risk the dogs doing this again? Do I give an ultimatum? What do I do?