I’m (22F) and my boyfriend (20M)just recently broke up with me. We were together for 3 months. I thought the relationship was perfect, but turns out it really wasn’t. After we began to date he told me he has a pretty bad porn addiction which I felt bad for him but it didn’t make me break up with him or see him as a bad guy because a lot of guys unfortunately struggle with porn. After that hurdle we had a picture relationship he would treat me with the most respect, was emotional mature, helped me with my school work( we are both in college). He was my first boyfriend, my first kiss, and had many more of my first moments. He meet my family and friends and everyone loved him. But last Saturday he came clean with how he truly felt. He was truly never into our relationship. He always had constant thoughts about if he was doing the right thing and if he actually truly liked me. He has had these thoughts since the second month. We made an agreement to try to help work with his addiction but he kept that from me as well he fell hard back into it because of the stress that he had about being confused about our relationship. He also asked a girl for her instagram account but she declined and he expressed that he felt horrible about that. He also expressed that he has never truly felt like he has tried for anything in his life. He’s going to get a screening for ADHD and ROCD. Even through all that I still wanted to work things out I stupidity begged to keep trying and to keep moving because even though these things look horrible he was truly a picture perfect boyfriend until he wasn’t. I told him he liked the idea of a relationship and not the work and trust that it cause. He said that he doesn’t think that he can see himself loving me even though he said he could see me in his future. I feel like our whole relationship was a lie. If i remember anything else I will edit and add. Please ignore the painfully bad spelling and grammar I’m still hurt and confused.
tldr: My first boyfriend broke my heart and I still believe he’s a good guy just confused and has a lot of things to work on mentally.
Comments
it was ur first relationship and yall were only together for three months focus on yourself and in a year you’ll laugh at the time u wasted worrying abt this guy
This is going to be lesson one of many in dating: don’t cling to men who tell you they don’t want you. You were way too willing to work with a new man who has an addiction, then also later told you he never really liked you.
This hurts, and it sucks. But you definitely deserve 10000x better.
I feel very sorry for you, but it’s better to find out now that this is not your partner than in ten years. It’s a shame it happened this way.
There are people that will stick with a partner who’s like this for months if not years. He told you who he is. While it was nice to date someone, he wasn’t great relationship material.
Why did you want to stay in a relationship with someone so problematic? That’s something I think you should be focusing on addressing in the next few weeks.
It looks like he wasn’t going to be committed to the relationship in the first place. Since he was your first boyfriend, it is very likely you were blinded to some extent by all the excitement and willingness to help him, but his words just don’t match his actions, I’ll say even more — his words didn’t match his other words. He says he can see you in his future, but can’t see himself loving you, which just sounds like emotional exploitation. He’s clearly not ready for a relationship, and he should’ve told you this in the first place