I made an AIO post because I have been really emotional about this situation. Here is the context of why he keeps messaging me:
So I (24F) and my bf (27M) have been together just over a year now. He has never been the pranking type and we have explicitly discussed that I do not enjoy pranks or surprises. Occasionally, he will do a little jump out from around a corner to spook me, and I usually playfully slap his arm and he laughs and that is that. This completely came out of left field.
Yesterday, he told me he had something serious to discuss with me. So we sat down. He genuinely looked like he was on the verge of tears. This man rarely cries, so already I was holding and kissing his hand, telling him it was okay. He shakily let out that he cheated on me with his best friend’s girlfriend and that she is pregnant. My heart stopped. Like I think I genuinely had a panic attack, tearing up and trying not to puke. He just sat there watching me, looking all emotional and apologizing over and over. I had been cheated on before, which he was very aware of because we have had extensive conversations about some of my trust issues that we had been working through together. This played on all my worst fears.
Once I could speak, I told him to leave and he did. Once I calmed down a bit, I called his best friend and asked if he knew about the affair and the baby. I figured he did, I just wanted to make sure that he wasn’t still in the dark because he deserved to know. He replied with, “oh fuck, he didn’t actually do this to you, did he? I told him not to, that this was a bad idea”. I thought he was talking about the fact that my bf knocked up his girlfriend and said, “you knew in advance that they were having sex and told him not to do that because it would hurt me?” He broke the news that the whole thing was a prank. There was no affair and there was no baby. I felt numb at this point. I just laid there and contemplated our relationship. I couldn’t believe that he would think to hurt me as an attempt at a joke. I still can’t.
I didn’t contact him at all, and he didn’t contact me. I was waiting for him to show up and tell me it was a prank but he never did, until about 6pm. He called me and told me to visit my backyard. He had set up a table and made it pretty (which really isn’t his forte), had takeout Italian food waiting for me, and a sign that said “April Fools” in the back. For a second I was relieved that he did something so sweet and found myself clinging to it. But I still felt hurt. He grinned and walked up to me, kissing me and saying he couldn’t believe I fell for it and that he thought I would know it was a prank.
I cut to the chase and broke up with him. The whole day was just emotional whiplash and I felt toyed with. I said that I didn’t know if I could be in a relationship with someone who could lie to my face like that and think it was funny. He said it was funny and that he was sorry if I didn’t get it. I have just been so overwhelmed and emotional over this and I just want to know if I am overreacting or not. He has never done something like this before but I do not know if I can recover. AIO?
So now, he has left a total of 37 voicemails and probably hundreds of messages, and the number is only increasing. I need him to stop. He won’t listen to me when I say I need space from him. I really don’t want to block him or make this messier than it needs to be because we share a friend group. I don’t want to be the reason people pick sides and things fall apart. Any advice ?
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He’s the one making this messy by not respecting your ask for space. If things fall apart because he can’t back off then that’s on him.
You broke off a year long relationship, over a bad joke. Yikes!!! Poor guy may have dodged a bullet here
You have to block him. His behavior is arguably straight up abusive at this point, or at the very least indicative of a serious mental issue. He won’t listen to boundaries so you have to enforce them.
He’s acting in a cruel and insane way, you wouldn’t be the reason people have to pick sided- he is. Tell your friends what’s going on, and that you don’t feel comfortable interacting with him in any way anymore. Let them make their choices from there. I strongly suggest you don’t remain friends with anyone who thinks it’s acceptable for him to treat you this way because you absolutely are not overreacting. Don’t keep people in your life who think emotionally torturing you is a funny prank.
He’s the idiot for even thinking this was funny. The friend you called is probably on your side, given his reaction.
I’d block this jerk and move on. Sorry this happened to you. I hooe your real friends stick by you
This was…so NOT funny. It was cruel, bordering on sadistic, knowing your history of being cheated on in a previous relationship. Even his best friend tried to talk him out of it.
If this was your BF’s idea of a fun, harmless April Fool’s Day prank, I think you did the right thing to break up with him. You dodged a bullet. Don’t take him back, no matter how hard he pleads – and yes, block him if he won’t leave you alone. Your friend group will understand, when you tell them why!
Let him learn a hard lesson, so his next GF won’t have to go through the emotional hell he chose to put you through yesterday.
Mute him so you have his messages as evidence in case he turns stalker from harrassing you.
Explain to your friend group why. Anyone who takes his side can be blocked.
Make sure the friend group knows what’s up so he can’t twist things, and also so they can help protect you. They can know not to give out your info or location.
Block him, if the other friends side with him are they really people you want in your life?
Block him.
This man will 1000% smash your face in the cake at your wedding if you marry him. Don’t do it girl.
Block him. Let your friends know what happened and the consequences
Tell him if he doesn’t give you space, you’ll block him. Then follow through with that. You need space. If he won’t give it to you, then you take it.
The fallout from this is not your fault nor your responsibility. The best friend told him it was a stupid idea… they know this was a boneheaded move.
Focus on yourself, not the friends, not him. You need to get through this breakup. The blocking doesn’t have to be forever.
Block him even if you don’t want to. It will bring you tons of peace.
You’re not the reason people will pick sides. Your ex did that. Let people come to their own conclusions and let them make their own decisions.
This chapter needs to close. Don’t be afraid of losing friends over this. Change is a part of life, and if they choose to be with him, then move on from them. You want to surround yourself with healthy people who have your best interests at heart.
Your ex is a fool and man child. First, he thought this was funny. Second, he didn’t listen to the wisdom of his friends. This isn’t the type of man you want to create a life with. You deserve to be with a man that would never want to bring you any pain in any way. You’re a wise woman to break up and move forward.
Best of luck to you.
This is such a cruel “prank”. Not only did he look you straight in the face and tell you he cheated on you with his best friends girl, and got her pregnant, but then for him to LEAVE?! Like what?? He seriously just left you to be alone in distraught and feel an overwhelming traumatic amount of emotions, just to then look respectfully like an idiot to his friends to top it all off.
This is unbelievable behavior. Has he never been delivered bad news before? Did he not consider this was going to eat you alive all day? No, that’s probably all part of the “funny prank”.
Man is 27 years old. He should know better. April fools is for light hearted silly pranks. Not causing trauma.
Edit to add: You should block him for a few days until you’re ready to speak with him. That way you can breathe and think and not be bombarded.
not only did he witness your distress, he let you be in shock and anguish for hours. he’s showing that he’s tone-deaf to who you are, what you consider to be funny, and what’s funny in general. this whole “prank” was stupid and not at all funny. like someone said above: he’s the type who will smash your face into your wedding cake. this is just idiotic behavior and he’s entirely too old to not know that.
Where’s the red flag guy when you need him?
> He said it was funny and that he was sorry if I didn’t get it.
Pretty much immediately it was clear this was not forgivable, but this just unbelievably insulting
You told him no pranks or surprises and he’s been doing jump scares all this time? That’s a big no from me right there.
Abusers like to nibble around the edges to get you acclimated. Like the old frog in the pot story. It’s not accidental or someone being socially awkward. It’s a test to see if they can push through your boundaries.
These are the pranks were you need to ask, what here it is that you are suppose to laugh about.
The lost trust? The heartbreak? The immense emotional and physical roller-coaster he made you take? Or the fact that he though you would stay together after he pulled something like this.
Tell the friend group. Anybody who sides with him isn’t a person you wanna keep in your life.