Hi!!
I (21F) could really use some outside perspective on something that’s been weighing heavily on me.
On June 4th, a good friend of mine who i used to be best friends with in high school, though we drifted a bit in college, asked if she (22) could spend the night. I live at home with my mom (65) (who’s genuinely kind and open), and I asked her first. She said my friend was always welcome, so I told her yes.
Here’s some context: about two months ago, my friend’s parents gave her an ultimatum: either follow their strict rules, or don’t come home at all. She’s queer, and while I don’t want to generalize or use culture as an excuse, I think their views come from a mix of being very religious (Protestant) and their background (Angola and Congo). They seem to be extremely homophobic, and her mom believes “God will cure everything.” She doesn’t allow my friend to take her antidepressants, even though she really needs them (she struggles with manic depression, I believe).
After staying with another friend for 5 weeks (until they had a falling-out), she asked me if she could spend the night. She told me she already had another place to stay for the next day but she never brought it up again. And now we’re over two weeks in.
The thing is… I’m autistic. I really struggle when someone is in my personal space for more than a couple of days. My routines fall apart, I stop sleeping well, and I get overstimulated easily. She knows about my autism. On the first night, she listened to a podcast out loud to fall asleep. I get that it helps her sleep, but it was so loud that it woke me up. She has earphones, but just didn’t use them. I was too anxious to say anything (I literally had a nightmare that I confronted her and she got mad). I finally said something the next night, she was technically understanding but nothing really changed. I ended up sleeping in my mom’s room to avoid the sound (though I could still hear it faintly, I hyperfixate on noise).
But it’s not just that. She’s become really comfortable here, maybe a little too comfortable. She watches shows on the living room TV at high volume, scrolls TikToks on speaker while lying on the couch, calls her friends, and helps herself to whatever’s in the fridge, including leftovers my mom and I were planning to eat. She never asks, never checks in. And she never tells us where she’s going or when she’ll be back, she’s just gone sometimes, and we’re left guessing.
My mom and I often have these conversations:
“Your friend left.”
“Oh? Where to?”
“No idea, didn’t she tell you?”
“Nope.”
My mom is honestly really sweet and tolerant, but she told me she’s feeling very uncomfortable in her own home. She said sometimes she wants to sit down and read in the living room, but can’t because my friend is watching a show she doesn’t like at full volume and she doesn’t feel comfortable asking her to stop or turn it down. A few days ago, my mom was sick and resting on the couch and she told me afterward that she felt guilty, like she was in my friend’s way. That broke my heart.
And this part might sound small, but even our dog is overwhelmed. She struggles with human contact and barks a lot when overstimulated. It’s gotten better, thankfully, so it’s the least of my worries, but it still adds to the tension.
And there’s something deeper that’s been sitting with me too:
My dad passed away in December. It’s been incredibly hard adjusting to life as a family of two consisting of just me and my mom. It took time, but we were beginning to settle into that rhythm. And now, with my friend here, it suddenly feels like we’ve gone back to being a family of three, only it’s not the same. That fragile new balance we found is completely off again.
The feeling my mom and I are both struggling with is this: we’re not a hotel. This is our home. A small family, trying to rebuild. We truly want to help we know my friend’s situation is painful and complex, and i really want to be a good and kind friend. But it’s starting to feel like we’re being walked over. We’re both constantly adjusting ourselves to avoid tension or conflict, and it’s wearing us down.
When my friend first came, I was in the middle of my art school jury (Im a printmaking student) one of the most stressful times of the year for me. I assumed that was why I was so on edge, but that’s long over, and the feeling hasn’t changed. If anything, it’s worse. I’m overwhelmed and overstimulated. I struggle a lot with unpredictability, and confrontation is terrifying for me but I know something needs to change.
I don’t want to hurt her, and I want her to feel safe but not at the cost of us no longer feeling safe in our own home.
One small thing: today, she actually told me she has plans for tomorrow and that if it gets too late, she’ll sleep over at a friend’s place. I was genuinely glad she told me because that kind of communication is rare. But part of me also thought: maybe this could be a natural opportunity for her to ask to stay somewhere else, at least for a little while. I don’t know if she will. But I was thinking about bringing it up, if i dare to.
How do I talk to her about this without hurting her or pushing her further into a hard situation? How do I set boundaries without drowning in guilt or fear?
I feel like I’m doing something wrong even writing this, but I’m exhausted.
Thanks for reading!
Comments
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Well, you need to confront your friend and give them a strict deadline on when they need to move out and then do not budge on that. Talk to your mother and perhaps the both of you could confront the friend together so it doesn’t feel as intimidating.
Direct communication is the only way anything is going to change because your friend is taking advantage of you and is either unaware or doesn’t care about the stress that she’s putting you through and she will continue to do so as long as you don’t confront her.
If you get anxious talking to them, it might help to write them something with your thoughts so that you can be clear without being on the spot.
It’s not unreasonable to ask what their plans are for staying and to expect a guest to act … like a guest should
She only asked you for a night. She’s been here 2 weeks. Give her the notice, that she needs to find other place and need to move out by the end of the months.
She has 2 weeks to look for somewhere to stay. You were generous enough. Now you need to be strict and don’t be a push over.
>this could be a natural opportunity for her to ask to stay somewhere else, at least for a little while.
This is a bad idea. Make it permanent. You don’t want to have same problem months/years later. Your house is obviously too comfortable for her, no one complains and there’s no strict rules.
You really need to be assertive. She’s using your, and your mom’s good nature for her advantage. She is an adult, she needs to learn to be independent.
Tell her that her “one night” is way past and time to find a new place….as in today
You need to give her a date she needs to be out by. She knows she taking advantage of you and your mom. Do it while it’s just awkward before you have a breakdown and it comes out angry. Sounds like you guys aren’t that close so although you may feel some guilt she is an adult and you and your mom are not responsible for her
It’s not about being heartless, but about preserving your own peace. Genuine compassion includes understanding your own boundaries. Stay strong, communication is key.
My parents were super religious and strict. They didn’t kick us out but we all choose to go to college (with no financial help) at 18 and none of us ever moved back in. They had rules like needing to be in bed at 9 pm so as we all grew into adults if we wanted any independence as adults we had to go out into the world and support ourselves. It can be done but it’s not exactly luxurious. I washed dishes and delivered pizzas and lived in a cat pee filled mobile home in a trailer park. All of the apartments I lived in for the next 20+ years were built in the 50’s and 60’s and lacked air conditioning. Your friends parents are trying to enact some tough love and you and your mom are undermining the lesson. You friend needs to go get a shitty job and rent a cheap shitty apartment. Good luck!
You have to wrap your head around this.
Your friend did to her parents what she’s about to do to you.
The plan seems to just ride you out and leave you for whoever opens their door.
Seriously. What does she do to pay the bills? Is she in school?
I don’t know what you’ll ultimately decide, but I feel you have this counter weight of being friends influencing your choice.
Personally, I’ve been burned by friends before. Ghosted afterwards too.
I don’t understand how friends would do that but it happened, and now I can easily cut people off if something feels wrong.
It’s to protect myself from getting cooked again.
Long story short, your friend is taxing you and if you let it go too far, you’ll turn cold on people once someone that close to you burns you.
She’s over 21. She has to follow the rules of where she stays, or leave. Hind sight 20 20..
Good luck
I might be totally wrong plus I don’t know what country you live in, but I suddenly remembered one thing I heard from someone living in USA. He stayed with a girl, they both lived in his place, she sold her apartment to pay for her college. One day he decided to kick her out (I don’t remember all the details), but it turned out he couldn’t do it since she stayedthere long enough and he had to give her time to find another place to live. I really remember all the details since it was long ago, but it seems that there is a law in USA that stated that if you live in a certain place, have your room / bed etc. you cannot be kicked out. If it is still true and your situation fits this law you need to be careful.
As for your friend, there are people who don’t know any limits, you treat them well once, twice, three times and on the fourth time they will be mad you didn;t give them more. Think of your mom, take care of her, but not your impudent friend
You did a nice thing, but your friends well being is not your responsibility. Nor is it your mothers who should get to enjoy the little things in life, and can’t.
Your friend is taking full advantage of the situation. Pack her bags for her and tell her it’s time to go. She has disrupted your lives. She isn’t even trying to help herself.
This woman is not your friend. She’s using you and your mom, just like she used the last person who was kind enough to extend hospitality to her. She’s disrespectful of you and your mom’s home and shared spaces.
You need to be firm and direct. Tell her she is no longer welcome to stay with you. She needs to find other accommodation. Put her things outside and lock the door. Don’t let her inside.
Don’t worry about burning bridges with this “friend” because they are a user with no self awareness.
Given she was kicked out for being queer I think she does deserve support from friends, and you’ve been doing that for her! Which is great. That said, she owes you consideration and respect too. If I were in your shoes I would write down what needs to change, have a house meeting, and let her know that if these things don’t change, you will be serving her an eviction notice. And then follow through.
You likely do need to use formal eviction at this point to make sure you don’t do anything illegal. Hopefully it doesn’t come to that.
Honestly her other friends lasted 5 weeks so there seems to be a pattern i doubt you and your mother will last another 2 or 3 weeks as you seem to be building resentment and animosity against her as it is.
You got a lose and lose situation you’re going to lose this friend regardless. When you tell her to move out eventually she’ll hate you. What’s more worrying is that it effecting your mother mentally which you’re not really picking up on. You’ve told your poor mother it was for a single night which she agreed to not weeks nor months. It up to you to make it right either today or in a month’s time where you and you’re friend have a falling out with.
She not homeless she has parents who have a bed for her if she so wishes you’re not her mother unless of course you’re choosing to adopt her as your daughter which by all means is your choice and always have been your choice.
You can stay silent and continue to suffer, or you can have an uncomfortable conversation and find relief. If your friend was a true friend, they would not want to put you out.
We all know you’re a true friend because you’ve been trying really hard to be accommodating, but she’s over stayed her welcome. A true friend would tell her that.
If she’s a true friend to you too, she will apologize and leave without issue. If she kicks up a fuss, you don’t have anything to feel bad about because it means she’s not a true friend.
Hm I wonder why she and the other friend had a falling out…..
You need to tell her that it’s time for her to go! Why do you let someone make you feel uncomfortable in your home! She has got to go! Now!
She’s going to stay until you make it more uncomfortable for her to stay than it is for her to leave. That’s how this works. That’s how this always works.
I would sit down with her and let her know it’s time for her to find a new place to live and give her date. You and mom need your space back. Tell mom what you are doing so you are on the same page. This friend will continue to take advantage of your kindness.
One of the most helpful things I have learned about boundaries is that they aren’t about controlling other people, they are about controlling ourselves. What I mean is, I don’t try to figure out how to make someone else do or not do something, I decide what I will do when they do or don’t do the thing. Then I let them know. Then I make myself follow through and do what I said. I found out that instead of everyone being mad at me because I wasn’t ‘nice’, people actually started to feel safer around me and trust me more, because I told them honestly what I would do, and did what I said.
An example is if I am calling a toxic family member who always puts me down or criticizes me, and I tell them, “I don’t know if it feels like it to you, but I feel really criticized when we’re talking, and it messes me up for days, so if we’re on the phone and I start to feel like that, I’m going to end the call.”
Another example would be, “I am really glad we’ve been able to have you stay with us for a while, but we aren’t able to do this long term. You have to find another place you can move to by a week from today.”
Then you have to make yourself follow up. That’s really hard, but not as hard as trying to change the other person into someone who respects your boundaries without you having to be ‘the bad guy’, though.
TL:DR “Following up’ means kicking them out on the street with all their stuff if necessary on the day you said they have to be out even if they have nowhere to go and haven’t taken your deadline seriously and gotten ready.
You’ve been extremely tolerant and kind to allow your friend to stay two weeks. Given that she’s a difficult houseguest, you need to speak Dre tly but kindly with her and let her know it’s time to move on. If you don’t, you will grow resentful and the friendship will end.
You can not make her feel bad. You can have a conversation with her about her leaving, if she chooses to feel hurt by that, nothing you can do. We are each in charge of our own emotions, we are not in charge of other people’s emotions. You opened your home to her because she needed a place to stay the night and she just made herself at home and is still there. Regardless of her reaction you need to tell her that her one night has turned into long term and you and your mother need her to go. You have now experienced what her own parents experienced. She does nothing to help around the house, is inconsiderate and rude, helps herself to whatever she wants without asking so why are you concerned with her feelings, she is clearly not concerned with yours. That doesn’t mean you should be nasty to her. Just tell her that she has until the end of the week to find other living arrangements and if she doesn’t then you will pack her stuff and leave it outside for her to pick up and lock her out of your house. That should make it clear to her that you mean business. I too suffer from autism and know the issue with over stimulation. I get to the point where I feel like there is a vibration going on inside of me that will not be soothed. It takes me days to recover. I feel your pain. The only way out of this situation is direct honestly, accept no excuses, no alternative plans, she’s out of your house by the end of the week, or her stuff will be outside and the doors will be locked. If you gave her a house key, change the locks, seriously.
Your friend is an ADULT. Not a teenager with no ability to house themselves.
She is entitled, self-absorbed, rude and manipulative. You can feel bad that she has homophobic parents but don’t feel like that excuses her behavior. She is choosing to take advantage of you and your mom. And is a very rude house guest that is overstaying her welcome.
She’s 22. She needs to get a job and find some roommates and take responsibility for herself.
“Hey (friend), we have been glad to help you through a hard time but it’s time to find your next solution. We don’t have the capacity to keep housing you and you were only supposed to stay one night. I wish you well but having you here two weeks is ultimately disrupting both of our routines. You can stay until the end of the week but after that you have to find somewhere else.”
If she reacts negatively it’s time to be more firm. Tell her she can actually leave the next day. And cut her out of your life. You don’t have to sacrifice yourself for a bad friend that doesn’t care about you or even respect your mom.
If you’re uncomfortable telling your friend to leave, have your mom help you, and do it before your friend is with you long enough to establish residency.
You’re a printmaking student. Do some extra-curricular work! Make some signs that say “No Vacancy”, “Room Wanted”, “Live In Cook Available”, etc.
You can also make some prints of applicable quotes:
“Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days” Benjamin Franklin
“Every House guest brings you happiness. Some when they arrive and some when they are leaving.” Confucius
“House guests should be regarded as perishables: Leave them out too long and they go bad.” Erma Bombeck
_________
Some other options:
Invite your aunt and uncle to come for a visit. Of course, family gets the bedroom; guests get the sofa.
Pick up the local real estate guide with “Apartments to Rent”
_________________
There is one other option:
A friend of my son volunteered to dog sit for us when we found out at the last minute that dogs weren’t allowed at the beach house we rented. ( The people before us brought a dog that did damage so the rules were changed!).
She came to stay for two weeks and we ended up adopting her in every way but legally. She stayed with us while she finished college. Lived with us after she got her first job so she could pay down student loans. She was in the bridal party for my son’s wedding. Our families love her and treat her as “another cousin” or “another niece”.
We opened our doors to someone in need and we’re the ones that benefitted!
She is an adult. She can live on her own. Tell her it is time to get an apartment and move out by the end of the month.
Your now grifting friend could become a tenant with tenant’s rights in many jurisdictions after 30 days. Don’t let her. She is taking advantage of your kindness.
She’s making you and your mom uncomfortable in your own home. Tell her that it’s just too too stressful living together, and she promised it would only be a couple of days.
Tell her she has X amount of days to move, like 1 or 2 weeks to move. Not too many days or she won’t start.
You and your mom choose how many days.
Have your MOM Call Planned Parenthood and ask what’s the place that helps LGBT teens who got kicked out of their house ? There’s a place for her to go.
I also want to clarify a few things about my friend, because I realize the post might make her sound deliberately rude or inconsiderate, and that’s not what I meant to express.
She does have a job, and she’s actively looking for a place to live. The tricky part is that most rental contracts here don’t start until September, but she’s doing her best to find something sooner.
She also comes from a really complex home situation. She’s the oldest of four siblings, and was expected to act like a second mom. Back when we were closer in high school, she’d often show up late to our plans because she had to clean the entire house or take care of her siblings. The amount of responsibility she had growing up was intense, and I think because of that, now that she’s in a space that feels safe, she slips into full relaxation mode, but without realizing how much of an impact that has on us.
I do think she’s being selfish in some ways, but I genuinely don’t believe she’s doing it to be rude or hurtful. I think she just doesn’t know better right now, or is maybe too overwhelmed to notice.
Looking back, I remember my dad used to say she was selfish, especially because she didn’t respect my time by always showing up late. At the time I didn’t really understand what he meant, but now I think I’m starting to get it.
That said, I’m still struggling. My mom and I need to protect our space, and I’m working on how to set boundaries in a way that feels kind but clear.
Thank you so much for all the advice and comments, I really appreciate hearing different perspectives.
I’m reading everything, even if I’m not replying. Responding feels a bit overwhelming right now, but please know your words are being seen and valued.
Yeah, you need to talk. She’s not acting like a friend
What would you expect to happen if it was you who overstayed your welcome?
Do that.
It takes 30 days to establish residency so kick her out NOW. You don’t want the hassle of having to legally evict her.
Send her a text saying ” we need to talk so pls meet us at xxx time in the living room.”
Have your mother with you. Be very calm but forceful and say ” I am sorry but you have overstayed your welcome. We have done more than enough for you. Please leave by tomorrow night XXX pm. Or we will have to throw your things out and call the cops.”
When she leaves, change the locks. If need be, have another relative or friend over, who is not easily intimated and have them do the talking.
You got this! Kick her out now! You now know why the “other friend” kicked her out in 6 weeks.
You have to say something. Yes, you may feel guilty, and yes, she may feel hurt or offended. But that’s still better than continuing to live in discomfort. Tell her that she needs to leave and that you’re not okay with her behavior. If she refuses to leave, you may have to take legal action to remove her from your home. And keep your food locked away so that she can’t eat it anymore. Change the WiFi password so that she can’t access the Internet anymore. Make it very, very uncomfortable for her to stay if she refuses to leave.
She has overstayed her welcome. This is your and your mother’s house and neither of you want her there, that is all that matters in this situation. You both have let her stay there for free for 2 weeks already, that is more than 95% of people would do already so you shouldn’t feel guilty about this or anything else. If anything your friend should be feeling guilty about overstaying her welcome and making you both feel bad about the situation.
You’re important, too. Don’t be a doormat. I’ve seen some good advice from other comments so I won’t say anything more.
You don’t worry about “hurting” her. You tell her directly that her stay with you has come to an end and that it’s time for her to move on. She asked for one night and has overstayed her welcome, and you can probably see from how she acts why she has got kicked out of the other places. If she doesn’t want to follow her parents rules in order to have a place to stay, then she needs to move on and support herself.
Does she have a job? At the least you should charge her rent. She’s freeloading off y’all. She’s counting on your kindness to sponge off you. No doubt she was told to move from her last spot. Side note: She really should make peace with her family despite their differences. Free rent sometimes comes with living with the rules of the house.
I have been the mom (yours) in this situation. It was a hard lesson to learn, but we ended up telling my child’s guest that they had a day to give us an exit plan and two weeks to find a job, because she was going to need to pay us rent if she stayed after the end of the month. We presented a united front, which helped.
It was amazing how fast she found somewhere else to stay. She was gone in two days! We were willing to help her with resume and job interview and anything else she needed, but she chose to freeload off of someone else within a week. I am sure she told the next people that we “kicked her out”.
Friends like this aren’t really friends. And you and your mom were nice to help her out. She just stopped being a guest after that first night.
She might literally have nowhere else to go, and is embarrassed and terrified in equal measure to discuss what’s happened. Talk to each other.
All the best – there’s so many of us struggling out here
This was wild to read. I do not remotely understand why you and your mom are so passive. It’s your house.
“Friend, we need to talk. Given the recent loss of my dad and my and my mom’s own mental health, this long stay is not working out. I love you and want to be supportive, but this visit needs to end. You need to find someplace to stay by the end of the week.”
If you can afford it, be prepared to pay for a hotel for one night. That way she can’t be like, in your home claiming you are putting her on the street. If she’s like “I can’t find anywhere,” be like “I’ll pay for a night at the comfort inn across town. I’ll give you a ride.”
You just need to get her physically OUT. Otherwise you’ll never be rid of her. She is obviously scrappy and a people user and will figure this out.
When you pay for the hotel, make sure to give cash or Venmo your friend, don’t put your own card on file in case she tries to stay longer on your dime.
Use your words and tell her she’s overstayed
Give her notice. You both need to learn responsibility.
Get your mom to do it. It’s her house.
It makes you think that this is how she treats her friends hospitality. Maybe there was other reasons her parents reacted badly to her. And everything she said could be completely true but he sounds like someone that doesn’t mind imposing on peoples boundaries.
Ask her when she is moving out. she asked for a night, not weeks. You need to get her out, before she has tenant rights.
Being an adult, even a neurodivergent adult, means getting used to disappointing others.
I think your friend may have additional problems living with her parents than just her sexual orientation. She sounds like a mooch and a bad roommate. The best thing for her would be to become independent. Then nobody will have power over her, including you.
Tell your mom that you’re ok with getting your friend to move on to a more stable situation. Present a united front. Do not JADE (justify, argue, defend or explain). Any of that just gives your friend something to fight about.
“You need to go by xx date,” is a complete sentence. “It isn’t possible for you to stay here,” is the only reason you need to give.
Alternate these two sentences over and over. Do not waver. She will pull out all sorts of horrible reasons you shouldn’t make her move out. She will cry. She will pout. She will be angry. Those are all HER emotions, not yours. And not your responsibility.
A true friend wouldn’t impose on you like this or argue when you set a boundary.
This will be hella uncomfortable. Grit your teeth and get it over with. If any other people have something to say about it, let them know you’ll give THEIR contact info to your friend so they can host her next.
You’re doing the right thing, sweetie.
You have to tell her you been happy to help her but she needs to find somewhere else to go. Let’s be honest y’all haven’t been actual friends since high school she only reached out to you when she needed something. So if she gets upset over this then it’s not much of a loss.
She’s an adult. Her parents house, her parents rules. If she valued having a place to stay she would have conformed. I don’t believe the story about your friend not being allowed to take antidepressants. That would be easy to hide from her parents.
Tell her it’s time to go. She’s not your friend or even a decent person and it sounds like she doesn’t work. You drifted in college and she called you to use you, not to rekindle the friendship. She got kicked out of her last situation because of her behavior. These behaviors are why her parents kicked her out and why you need to do the same. Tell her that you’ve been happy to help her out but it’s time to get back to your normal routine. Give her a date and stick to it. Not your problem.
I’m sorry about your Dad. Would he have tolerated this?
She’s been kicked out by her parents, and another friend, and now she’s staying with you indefinitely after asking to spend the night (presumably at the last minute despite having had warning she was going to be kicked out)
but you believe that it’s because her parents are homophobic? Did they JUST NOW find out she was whatever and kick her out that day?
Your friend is almost certainly the problem. Take everything she says with a grain of salt.
Give her 72 hours and then change the locks, assuming she has a key. It’s the easiest way to get her out. Then stand firm.
Oh my…she is really taking advantage of your kindness. I get that she currently has no where else to go, but you’d think since she’s homeless she’d be hustling her buns off, not making her presence known so loudly. That’s just totally inconsiderate. For her to be more comfortable in your place than you and your mother is not right. Like other posters have said, you’ll have to give her notice.
I too am Autistic and have found that I need to keep my space sacrosanct. The number of Autistic people who are homeless is huge and increasing. And it kills me that I can do so little to help. I often wish I could invite some to stay but my lease won’t allow it. But I also know that I would have a very hard time tolerating another in my space. You’re right in that it throws everything off schedule. And without my schedule my life would be complete chaos.
I have found that many homeless people have issues they have to work on before they are able to make a secure living situation for themselves. Your friend sounds like one of those. No one can expect people be OK with someone just using their place as a flop house without them putting forth effort to improve their situation. Yet I’m astounded at how many people are like this.
You guys have got to stop feeling guilty over existing and setting your own standards for your own home.
I guess you can see why your friend was on the streets to begin with now. She’s willing to take advantage and has no interest in being considerate without being directly told she has to do so.
Bring it up. Say ” So, you said you were going to stay one night, and you had somewhere else to go. You haven’t talked with us about moving in, and we aren’t comfortable with that idea. We have had a lot to deal with surrounding my father’s death, and it is time you made other plans.”
You can tell her that your mom has been trying to be kind, but she isn’t comfortable in her home, and it is not negotiable. There is nothing wrong with that. If your friend gets mad at you, it is because she is selfish, and out of line.
I suggest not getting into the individual things she does that are frustrating. Don’t open the conversation to debate by giving her a list of things to correct in order to make it work. Just tell her the end of her stay has come, two weeks is generous after she asked for one day, and that’s all there is to it.
She really takes advantage of you and your mom’s kindness. Direct confrontation is the answer to the problem. She cleary has no awareness of her behaviour and even if she does, she simply doesn’t care. You should talk with your mom about the situation and the then together, you should talk to her about her stay and that she surely didn’t stay for one night. You should tell her she is no longer welcomed in your home and shs should find another place. People with no boundaries will walk all over you.
“hey, you’ve been here two weeks and haven’t looked for more permanent digs. You have to leave. Find a place tomorrow, move the next day. We said one night. ” Plain language
You have been more than just a good friend for over 2 weeks. It’s time this friend to move on. Don’t feel guilty just let her know it’s time to move on
I hope you’ve learned a very valuable lesson here . You can be a good friend but not let them move in with you . It’s time for her to go cause this isn’t her home . Once you get this one out don’t let anyone else move in . You’re right you’re not a hotel . Only thing you can do is be open and honest with her . Don’t sugarcoat the situation . Tell her not only are you but your mom is starting to get uncomfortable and she had got to go . Good luck I hope you have learned from this . I know I learned this in my twenties and will never let anyone live with me again