I’ve (31F) always known my friend (32F) was a little childish/immature but we’ve been friends for almost our entire lives so I try to spend some time with her every once in awhile. However, when I was looking for someone to go see the Pride and Prejudice re-release in theaters with me, I didn’t think about the fact that we have basically never spent time out in public together since we were teenagers.
Within minutes of the movie starting I was so embarrassed I considered whether I should leave. The whole time she commented on every little thing (I mean even things like seeing a cat onscreen “Kitty!”) and often didn’t bother to lower her voice.
She was addressing people onscreen, raising up both middle fingers to wave them at the screen, making dumb crude jokes, and felt the need to comment about how hot Keira Knightly was 16 times (I counted).
I repeatedly shushed her and she’d be quiet for awhile but eventually start right back up again.
Like I said, I’m not really shocked at her immature behaviors in general but I thought she would know how to behave in public. Apparently that was not a fair assumption and I’m still so embarrassed. Definitely never going in public with her again, and probably pulling back even further on our friendship.
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I just saw P&P rerelease in theaters and I’d be PISSED if my gal pal who I went with did that. It’s poor movie etiquette and very inconsiderate of her. Also, I don’t understand why she would be double flipping off the screen. I’d take this as a sign that you two grew apart, and that’s okay. I’d go and rewatch it by myself to get the bad experience out of my system!
does she struggle with social cues? does she struggle with being quiet and staying still? I’d be embarrassed too, and it is poor movie etiquette, but I’m wondering if she’s just not realizing her behavior was disruptive vs intentional inconsiderate behavior.
She sounds clueless.
Do you think there’s any chance she was on substances?
My HS friend and I worked at the same place after we graduated. One day we got off early and I talked him into going to see the movie Alexander with me in theaters. We had seen tons of movies together in theaters in the past, and he always acted maturely like anyone else would, but I also knew this wasn’t his kind of movie.
First, he convinced the very bored teenage employees to give him a large popcorn tub to fill up with soda. It obviously didn’t have a lid, and he insists on sitting on the very top back row, so he basically spilled soda up every step of the way. Then, he apparently got bored early on with the movie, and kept jogging up and down the stairs going in and out of the theater to go play arcade games. In the end he decided to leave the entirely full container with soda( he had maybe 2 sips) at the very top for the employees to clean up.
We were in our late 20s.
I personally enjoy my own company going alone to the movie theater…
Over time I’ve learned you can’t really change people. Some friends are just better for certain things. Like if a friend turns into a competitive monster during board games, I just don’t play board games with him. Still a great friend, just not my board game buddy.
No matter what she struggles with, get rid of her
As a 32 yo I would honestly wonder if my friend had cognitive issues if they acted like that. There’s having fun and keeping youthful wonder and there’s acting like a 3 yo
could be autistic
Honestly I would have just snapped and said “Can you please not do this?”
I don’t know if it’s some sort of symptom of the collapse of social etiquette or something but it seems to be a widespread idea nowadays that you don’t have to be polite in movie theatres.
Personally, it pisses me off. If I’ve paid a significant amount to sit and watch a film, I don’t want to listen to an idiot shouting, talking or guffawing constantly over the entire film.
When I was a kid in the 2000s I never remember this happening, but the last few times I’ve gone to the movies it’s been this way, with people on their phones and shouting stupid shit all through the movie.
I think we need to bring back cinema staff just kicking people out when they do stuff like this. People pay to watch a film in peace, not listen to the inane stupidity of halfwits for 2 hours.
This kind of behavior is more common in teenagers, but a lot of people’s brains have been rewired. Teachers often complain that the age-old reward of putting on a movie in class is no longer possible, because kids’ brains are just not wired to focus on anything over a few minutes long.
We’re engaged in some incredibly broad experiments on human neurology. If you’re not participating in this experiment, the extent of its effects can come in jarring ways.
She sounds autistic to me. I know many people that are. Unless she’s on drugs, this is likely autism and she is completely unaware of the effect she is having on the people around her.
This is more out of curiosity but does she manage to hold down a regular job and have other friends? I’m no expert but agree with the others that something sounds seriously off with her socialization, be it from arrested development or some form of neurodivergence. It’s hard to imagine someone so utterly oblivious who’s able to manage normal adult life.
I had a former friend do this when we went to a Harry Potter show in Las Vegas. It was an all ages show with lots of kids and teenagers and she ended up getting hammered and heckling to two performers the whole time. I wanted to shrink onto my seat and disappear.
I don’t blame you. I have a friend who does shit like “kitty!”, similar to your friend, and it drives me insane. She also talks loud baby talk whenever we see someone walking a dog down the street. She wears animal themed socks and hoodies. She’s 34. She’s a good friend otherwise and is capable of having real conversations, so it’s not a cognitive thing, but some of the immature stuff makes me mad. I feel badly for being judgmental but I can’t help but be.
That’s actually intolerable. I’m gonna come back later so I can actually read more of this. I’m at work hiding in the bathroom
Don’t blame you, that’s pretty cringe. You’re a better friend than I am tho, I would have moved seats and told her I got sick or something.
What’s she like in other public spaces and in friend groups? How does she treat waitstaff and shop clerks?
I would certainly never go with her to a movie again.
Everyone’s saying neurodivergent or cognitive issues, as an autistic adult who knows a lot of other autistic adults I really don’t think it’s that serious, I think it’s a pretty simple case of your friend is desperate for attention and thinks infantilising herself will get it.
i feel like we all got brain damaged over covid times and forgot how to act in places like theaters and grocery stores. things that were the foundation of the social contract have fallen by the wayside. folks who used to deal with these situations normally have much less of a barrier between the whims of their imagination and actually following through.
I have a friend like this. I told them straight up I’m never going to the movies with them again. It was so embarrassing, people were shushing them. Oddly enough, they’re mostly fine in other places. I just recently went out in public with them and they acted normal. It’s just the movies they can’t behave at, for some reason