I’m 28F, and my friend (29F) asked to borrow money back when she was in a tight spot. I was happy to help, but now it’s been half a year and she hasn’t mentioned paying me back, even though she’s fine financially. I don’t want to seem petty, but $500 isn’t nothing.
I want to be firm and clear without making her feel attacked. I also want to preserve the friendship if possible. What’s a good way to bring it up? Any scripts or approaches that worked for you?
Comments
You gotta write it off or lose the friend it sucks.
Just tell them you need the money
Hey….: when will you pay me back the $500
I could really use it
Hey, remember that $500 I loaned 6 months ago? I’m gonna need that back at some point soon. What’s the plan on repayment? I hate to ask for it back but it was a loan, a loan I was very willing and happy to provide to you, and I’m so glad that it helped. You know, it’s so difficult for me to be doing this because I value our friendship so much, and this is a very awkward position for me to be in.
The friendship is ruined . Now you just want your money back on principle. Ask him for the money .Trust me that isn’t a friend
You ain’t gonna get that money back. You paid to find out you can’t trust her. Move along.
This is not your friend if she did not tell when she will give it back.
Directly. Without accusation or hostility if it’s the first time you’re bringing it up. But without beating around the bush either.
“Hey (blank), I know we had discussed the 500 loan back in (month). Would you be in a position to pay that off at this point?”.
I’ll be so honest bro idk. These type of situations hardly ever end well but one thing I’ll tell you from this point forward, if you’re lending money to friends/family just write it off. I don’t expect it back when I lend now because it just creates resentment and causes problems. I know not everyone is financially stable to do that but it’s what I do now and saves me ton of headache. And if I do get my money back it’s just a win for me cause I wasn’t expecting to get it back anyway.
If you try to sugarcoat things you’ll never get your money, you need to straight up Ask for your money back or if they had any plan in place to pay you back. A friend would pay you back.
I loaned a friend of 20 years at the time $10K because they were going to foreclose his house and repo his car. 20 years later I have not been paid back. He’s gone on multiple vacations, new houses, etc. I brought it up a couple of times and was ignored. I talk to him once a year and try not to think about it. I also no longer loan money. I either say no or give it as a gift.
I once loaned a friend some money. I knew I wasn’t going to get it back. Luckily the friend was selling some things and I made a deal in exchange for the money borrowed.
Text him Rihanna bitch better have my money video.
I suspect it doesn’t matter the friendship is over. I suspect they do not have plans to pay you back and you lost the money. But do ask for it. See what happens. If they pay you back, then great.
So did you get back on your feet? Is everything OK?? I’m if that doesn’t prompt them to mention the loan and the repayment, then just be directed about it
Never loan money to friends or family expecting to be repaid.
You dont.
You paid 500 dollars to get rid of a leech.
Hello friend, I need the $500 I lent you 6 months ago by insert date in 2 weeks here. Then you take it from there. Don’t accept any I don’t have its or a why are you being so dramatic, just be firm and insist on getting repaid. Don’t answer any questions like why do you need it now or can’t you afford to wait longer. It’s your money your friend was more than happy to take from you, and the fact that she hasn’t even mentioned it once in 6 months is like giving you the middle finger.
Never loan money that you’re not ok never seeing again. If they haven’t paid you back or even mentioned it the friendship is already done. Consider it the get shitty people out of your life fee.
Lending money is always a horrible idea. My grandpappy aways told me to not lend money, unless you are ok to not get it back. He actually said that lol. Hope you learned your lesson
“Hey! Where is money?”
Whenever anyone asks if they can “borrow” some money just hear in your head can I “have” some money. I had one friend who would borrow a few bucks here or there when they were tight until they got paid and they always paid me back pretty quickly. Then it was they got into a wreck and needed to fix their car and it was a lot more than a few bucks but they had always felt bad about asking and made it a point to pay me back as soon as they could. Yeah that was no longer the case. And family, ugh don’t even get me started. They say borrow but they definitely mean gift in their head and never have any intentions of paying back. Its always the ones that need to borrow taking from those who work hard to make sure they never have to ask to borrow from others.
I’d send an Apple Pay, Zelle, Venmo request for $500. “Loan Repayment from 6 months ago.” If she pays it – great. If she doesn’t, you know where you stand. She’s not your friend.
Did you make it clear when you gave them the money that you expected it back? I don’t think the words “borrow” or “loan” are enough as some people could think that means “give” and never pay back. Was a discussion had at the time that they would have to pay you back at some point?
From there I would just ask very simply, I think other people have gave some pretty good examples just very clear and casual – “Hey remember that money I leant you a couple of months ago – were you able to pay me back some of it this month” something like that could work I think you have a higher chance of getting your money if they can pay you back in payments would also put less pressure on them. But if you need all the money back like ASAP then ask for it.
Also unfortunately the lesson here is that when you lend anyone money expect not to get anything back at all, just consider it gone.
there is no magic way. Either they forgot (it happens), they think about it often but just to broke to pay you back, or they don’t care enough to pay you back.
You can ease the blow a bit with a fib that you got hit with an unexpected experience and you could really use that money back. Or just be upfront and suggest a payment plan of some kind.
I once loaned some money to a friend in collage and they covered my drinks until I was paid back.
Even if this works out. You need to be prepared next time that when you loan money to someone that needs it, the situation that caused the need never goes away and you might not ever see your money again.
The only way to be sure lending money to friends or family doesn’t ruin the relationship is not to.
Just ask them. Also, never loan someone money. If you can spare it, just give it to them. If you can’t, don’t. Loans ruin relationships.
Hey bro, im in a bind and, remember that 5 hundy i lent you? I really need that, maybe start with half asap and the rest in a couple of weeks? Then work it from there consistently driving at the need. I would berate him or use tough language (save that for if they just flat out don’t want to pay and say they don’t have it and don’t want to talk about it or they call you a perk for asking for your money). Good luck man, I’ve been there and never got paid. Chalk it up to young and dumb but at least I protected my credit and was able to rent another apartment on my own. They moved back with their parents so there’s that!
Dependant on your situation, but if it works for you why dont you ask them to make a payment plan with you, start at 100 dollars a month if you can, more manageable then if they are still struggling. I know it sounds shitty, but if you go straight in asking for the full amount or demanding they pay you back as soon as, they will feel less inclined to do so and that will definitely cause more friction between you. If you try that and they still dont pay you back then as petty as it sounds, maybe speak to their parents if possible, most likely they would cover it. But that would definitely be a last resort as she wont appreciate that, but in that case you have trued your best so do what you need to then
Go repo 500 dollars worth of their shit
You don’t want to seem petty? Seriously? She knows she hasn’t paid you back. Learn to speak up for yourself without apologizing for it.
And NEVER loan money unless there is a payback plan.
I need to buy a such and such, and need that 500 as soon as possible.
Just ask her, no need to feel guilty. It’s your money period.
If she gets mad or angry then she is not your friend, she is just using you. And if she refuses to pay you back then you are better off by not having her in your life. And you have learned a valuable lesson. Sorry I know that sounds cold but it’s the truth.
Move on and do pick better friends.
Good luck 🍀
Shes deff going to say oh I thought it was a gift, especially if u never wrote a formal agreement and had her sign it.
Never loan out money that you can’t afford to lose
If your “friend” hasn’t even mentioned the money, she might be counting on the fact that she knows you will have trouble asking for it back. Just tell her that you really need the money back. If she reacts with anger or a bunch of excuses, you know, for a fact, she had no intention of paying you back. Do you have proof of loaning her the money?
say you’re in a pinch and ask them if u can borrow some money. when they ask how much, u say u need $500 for something 😐🙂