Okay so I (14M) recently became friends with a boy in the grade higher than me (15M, now 16M). I’m just gonna call him James. We became friends in the beginning of the year, which, I was really happy about. I had just moved schools and I’m really shy. So, of course, since I had no other friends, I began hanging out with him.
I didn’t think too much of James asking to hangout every day, since I figured he was just lonely. Plus his mom was diagnosed with cancer shortly after meeting, so I was there for emotional support. Because of this, I’ve spent a good amount at his home. This includes staying over from Friday to Sunday evening. So, I’ve taken a good amount of showers over at his house.
However, last February, a day before Valentine’s Day, James told me that he had a crush on me. I turned him down; I am bisexual, but he honestly was like a brother or cousin to me. I never once saw him in a romantic sense. James was upset about this, as one would expect, and guilted me into staying the night at his home that weekend.
However, the past few months, his behavior has just gotten creepy, and yesterday I found something that chilled me.
James has ALWAYS been clingy. From the moment I gave him my number, he’s been texting it pretty much nonstop. If I don’t respond because I’m in the car (I get car sick) or last month I got a concussion and couldn’t go on my phone for a week, he completely lost it.
A few weird things I’ve noticed leading up to this has been:
1. He has my number saved in his phone as ‘Sunny 💓’, despite me rejecting him
2. He always uses the bathroom after I shower
3. He’s been more touchy (ex: holding my hand when watching a movie or when we go on a walk)
However, yesterday, when I got back from my shower, he, per usual, went to the bathroom. He left his phone there, and, me, being the nosy person I am, I began looking through it. We never had any secrets, and I’ve handled his phone before, so I really thought nothing of it, until I went through his gallery. There, as the title implies, I found videos of me showering, dating all the way back to January. I felt my heart stop at this and I faked an emergency, saying that my grandpa had just been hospitalized, and I left.
I didn’t sleep at all last night, only getting a few hours before waking up from a nightmare. But now I just don’t know what to do. I have to see him at school tomorrow, thankfully only in the hallway (our classes charge per semester, and we no longer have any classes together), but this has really frightened me. I put his number on mute, and I don’t know how to bring this up to him.
Does anyone have ANY advice for me? I feel like I’m going to go insane from this paranoia and I need actual advice instead of the “block him” advice my friends from my other school would give me, as he knows where I live, where my locker is, and all the sorts.
Comments
Report this mess
You need to report this to the authorities. Please tell your parents/a trusted adult.
You are underage and he’s been making illegal content of you. I’m so sorry this has happened to you, OP.
Report this to the police and delete off here since you guys are minors
Either call the police or go to the front office at school. Explain everything. To them you mentioned here. After that, you need to stay away from him.
Simple – you have 2 options. Do you want to remain friends / have him in your life still or do you want him gone from your personal life?
Inform your parents what has happened then go to the police / school head teacher. Start official proceedings to seize phone and get that stuff deleted then no more contact with Mr Happy Snapper.
(You need a recording device or use your phone for this next part).
You go to the guys house under false pretences of hanging out. Say you wanna talk for a moment and it’s something that has been hurting you for a while. Let him know you’re best friends and like brothers – Be as delicate as possible and gently tell him you know he has the shower content on his phone. That you wish he hadn’t done that as it’s ruined what trust you had however in order to move forward and rebuild, he needs to remove ALL content and show you him doing so. You want him to acknowledge what he has done and apologise to you for it, promising never to do anything like this again and sincerely meaning it. If he complies with all the above then you can move forward. We all make mistakes – not that i’m condoning what has been done at all.
Ok, now you have a genuine admission of guilt. Evidence of his crime captured on voice recordings, so if anything goes pear shaped later down the line, you have yourself a safety net. Not for blackmail but to pass on to the police or whomever, if you choose to do so, assuming he has broken your trust once more. Now that would be a worthless friend not worth trying to keep the friendship alive.
Those are the only two options I believe are worth your time exploring man. Up to you which you choose. Forgive but not forget, or cut away the ties. If you go for the second option, please ensure you get that recording! I suggested going to his house so he can’t get up and leave. It’d be more convenient at yours to setup the device but he can always walk away denying it and delete the evidence. At his, you have him at home feeling safe. You approach it gently. Remember the pig never see’s the knife coming in the slaughterhouse. By all means, be 100% genuine but remain calm so he doesn’t freak out. Get the recording for purely insurance purposes and then once you’re happy, move forwards with a clean slate.
Hope this helps. If you have any more problems or questions, feel free to message me mate. We all need a big brother or sister for advice sometimes.
This is not okay. What he did is against the law. He has created pornographic material of you without your consent.
He is not your friend. This is not your fault.
You need to head to the police station and report this. If you don’t feel comfortable doing this, you need to speak to an adult (teacher/parent/family) so they can help you.
Stop speaking to him. Don’t confront him on this or he may try and coerce you into not reporting him.
I’m sorry this has happened.
If this is true, report him, and, I feel as though it isn’t because I don’t know ANY 14 y/o that writes like this in 2025.
Go to the police immediately. This person is committing serious crimes. I would seriously delete this reddit post considering you’re both minors. Keeping this to yourself is a REALLY bad idea.