I gave my friend 800 bucks about 6 months ago because he was going through a rough patch and couldn’t make rent. He promised he’d pay me back within a month or two max. At the time he seemed really genuine about it and kept thanking me for “saving his ass” and said he’d never forget this favor. It’s been 6 months now and every time I bring it up he has some excuse. First it was “next week for sure” then it was “I’m just waiting for my tax return” and then it was “my hours got cut at work.” Last month he said he’d pay me back in installments but I haven’t seen a single dollar yet. The most frustrating part is I see him going out to bars and ordering takeout all the time on his social media. I’m starting to feel like an idiot for trusting him with that much money. $800 might not sound like a lot to some people but it’s a significant amount for me and I actually need it back now. I’ve been too polite about it but I’m getting really frustrated. We’ve been friends for like 4 years and I don’t want to ruin the friendship over money but I also can’t just let him walk all over me. What should I do?
My friend hasn’t given back the money that I borrowed him and it’s been 6 months
r/Advice
Comments
Just see it as having paid a 800 bucks lesson fee for finding out that the bloke is a user, and cut him out of your life
This might be an $800 lesson to you to never loan anyone money that you can’t afford to give them as a gift.
If you have a record of the loan (emails, text messages) and his replies that he promises to repay you, and a record of you asking him again and again for this, then back up those records into a document. I have no idea whether screen shots of text conversations are considered legal evidence (images can be altered) but take screen shots. If you can record him talking to you about this loan then get a recording of him acknowledging that he borrowed $800 and hasn’t yet paid back any of it.
In many places taking someone to Small Claims court for non-payment requires just a small filing fee and can be done without a lawyer. It may be worthwhile to do that. You will need to provide his address and other contact information.
You don’t have to tell him you are doing that. Just do it. Then also suggest to him that he needs to get a second job, work overtime hours, and/or sell some of his stuff to start paying you back.
This friendship is over because he’s taken $800 from you and is showing zero integrity in paying you back.
You are never getting the money back unless you go to small claims court. Don’t loan people money you can’t afford to gift.
Bruh, straight up, friend or not, he’s takin you for a ride. Don’t be a doormat. Pretty clear he ain’t gonna pay unless you press it. Sometimes u gotta be firm, even with pals. Tell him bluntly, “Pay up or our friendship’s on ice.” Harsh? Maybe. Necessary? Hell yeah. 800 bucks ain’t chump change n u got bills too. Remember, ppl treat us how we let ’em. Stand your ground. You got this.
As fucked up as it is to say this but someone who doesn’t put the effort and make the sacrifices to build an emergency fund for them selfs . If my opinion , with the people I’ve encountered . Definitely isn’t financially or emotionally mature enough to make those same changes . To relay someone money they loaned them
Rule one of lending money to friends or family is to never actually expect that money to be returned or the relationship might be ruined.
Sucks but it’s a saying for a reason
You didn’t “borrow him” money. You lent it to him
Don’t lend money you can’t afford to lose. But I’d definitely call him out on his bar and take out expenses – tell him $100 a check or start taking some of his things.
Never loan people money you’re going to miss. Also, if the friend isn’t making any effort to at least try to pay it back, like hey… I don’t have it all but here is $100 for now and I will get you more when I can.. let it go and lesson learned
Money will make you question the friendship. If your friends and they’re giving you the runaround about paying it back… I’m looking at the friend sideways. Because now you’re lying about paying me back
Money alway. always. always. ruin friendship. If you want keep friendship stay away from money deal
Lesson learned – don’t loan money. And don’t loan money if you can’t afford to not be paid back.
Remind him about the installments and ask him when his payday his and if payday is on the 25th tell him you expect him to pay 100 each month on the 25th.
If he talks nonsense tell him you see him going out to bars and spending money while he owes you money which makes you look like an idiot… and 1-2 months are becoming 6 months and longer.
If you have a hard time with this then do this over text.
You said it in your first sentence – you gave him.
The only question now is is that enough to write off the friendship iver or was it a gift.
I don’t ever loan money to friends or family. I just pay their bill per what I can afford to because I’m not gonna see it come back and I don’t want to ruin the friend or family relationship.‼️
Since I’m not a bank, I don’t loan money to anybody .
I’ve made mortgage payments. I bought months worth of groceries.
I’ve made car payments
Credit card payments multiple payments insurance payments
College tuition payments
Back mortgage payments
Light bills
I will pay them directly on behalf of my friend or family member, but I never give any money. I never loan any money. I just do what I can do without compromising my own budget.
I can understand someone I care about has a financial need. It’s usually because they put their wants before their needs and sometimes I will help them with that need but I know if I were to give them cash or loan them cash. It would first go for their wants so I don’t do that.
You don’t borrow people money, you loan them money. They borrow it from you. That title is just pure rage bait.
You paid 800 bucks to find out that your friend isn’t actually your friend..
You’re worried about ruining the friendship over money? Your friend already ruined your friendship over money. Money gone, lesson learned.
Don’t lend friends money if you can’t afford to lose it. If I can afford it, and my friend needs some financial help, I just give them the money I can spare. Feeling pressure to pay someone back can put a serious strain on the relationship, even if you don’t act like a shark and come after them for it.
You can try and tell him you are in a bind and need the money asap. Make it believable. But most likely, unless you take him to court, and even then, you may never see this money again. He sounds like the sort that borrows from everyone and keeps on spending. It sucks, but it is an important lesson. Never loan money you can’t afford to lose and never cosign unless you can afford to pay.
Others have said it but it bears repeating; never loan someone money that you need back. I’ve never borrowed money and not returned it but I’ve loaned money I never was repaid.
If he had made ANY effort to at least pay you something back, it would be a different story. He is essentially relaying that $800 is worth more to him than your friendship. You could try to get it back via small claims court but the costs and time related to that are not likely to be worth it. I’d give up and cut them off.
You’re learning the lesson of never lend a friend money you aren’t willing to see again. That applies to both the friend and the money btw
This is a valuable life lesson you have learned. Never ever loan anyone money, even your family. You will never see it back.
It cost $800 to see the truth. An expensive lesson, but a lesson to be sure.
Time to make a decision. Do you want to keep the friend or the money? At this point it looks like you’re going to have to pick one.
Let this also be a lesson to not lend this specific person that money ever again, or at least to never lend money that you can’t afford to be losing.
Well,
He probably doesn’t have the money and can’t afford to pay your back.
You can kiss that $800 goodbye as a life lesson learned.
>”I’m just waiting for my tax return”
Yeah, that isn’t going to happen. If you want to keep this person as a friend (I’m not sure why) then I’d just drop it.
It’s hard to lend to friends and family.
You might try this. Go over to his place and ask for your installment. If you get excuses tell him you need something of value snowboard, bicycle, to hold until you get paid off. Could be a piece of jewelry, a gun, something of matching value. Tell him you will give it back when you get your money back. Write something up. This probably won’t work but nothing else is. I once got a family shotgun in a similar situation and his father came and paid me the debt to get the gun back.
You can kiss that $800 goodbye as a life lesson learned. And that is not a friend. That is someone using you.
Dude, you wouldn’t be ruining the friendship over money. He’s ruining the friendship by lying to your face and taking advantage of your kindness. Is this the kind of friend you really want?
Take him to court and cut him off after or just court him off now if you want to let the money go buy your friendship is over anyway. Why do you even want to protect the friendship with a thief?
I’ve had 500 bucks out there for 5 years. I only collect debts when I really need the money. These are my little private bank accounts. 😆
If you need it, go get it.
Did you write anything down with the guy you gave the money to, to have proof?
I never loan, I only give. I never expect a repayment and if I can’t afford to give it then I don’t.
*Lent
Never lend friends money
Ask for 50 a paycheck
A few wise people have told me, dont lend people money thinking you’ll ever get it back
Whatever you do, don’t ever lend money to him again. And anytime you go somewhere with him, he’s paying because you “forgot your wallet”.
Stop. Loaning. Money. Gift. It. Or. Nothing.
I don’t understand how people haven’t learned this over basically all of human history. Guarantee you cavemen were complaining their next cave neighbor didn’t return his stone after a year.
I think you mean “loaned him”.
Put it out over social media about what he does, because I bet a Penn to a pound there are others, name and shame, if he gets offended who cares!
never ever lend out money, if someone asks me, i normally say im tight on money myself.
Taking a small claims court. It doesn’t cost that much.. have paper served on him.
If you’ve got documented proof, emails or text , a judge will most likely settle this in your favor.
I waited 6 yrs for my BFF to pay me back $600. I should’ve taken her to court.
Lastly, you need to realize this person most likely owes a lot of other people money as well. These type of people burned a bridge with everybody.
You won’t ruin the friendship over $800, he already did.
>I don’t want to ruin the friendship over money
OP – you have this backwards. Your friend has already ruined the friendship over money, not you. Sue him. Take his car. Take his computer/tv/xbox. Get your money back.
Ok- never borrow or a lender be. If someone is unable to pay rent- they are NEVER going to have enough money to pay you back. They have the next month’s rent coming and so on. The bills keep coming in and it’s unlikely they are suddenly going to have the money to pay you back. You may lose a friend over this- but really….
Is he willing to “ruin” the friendship over $800? should you loan money to people who can’t pay their expenses?
“Never a lender, nor a borrower be”
Basically don’t lend money you need back, and don’t borrow money you cannot guarantee you can pay back.
Unfortunately for you, this person is never going to return that money. It sounds like they have terrible money management skills and you’re now seeing it first hand because you lent them cash. To them it’s probably “well I didn’t spend that much on drinks so it really makes no difference because I don’t have all the money anyways”, and so they’re unable to realize that $20 here and there really adds up quickly. It’s a shitty situation all around, and overall an expensive life lesson for you.
Money lending can and does ruin a lot of friendships/relationships because of the expectation for it to be returned, without a plan in place at the time of lending on how it will be returned in writing (so you have something to hold them to, and a written plan that can be followed).
Loans to friends and family are just gifts at the end of the day…
They very seldom come back to your wallet…
If they were good at paying their bills, they erotica not have to borrow it from you. They do so because they couldn’t go to their normal sources because they already burned them. This was your turn. You’ll have to sue and garnish their wages to get paid back.
Don’t lend money.
Don’t ever loan anything you can’t give away as a gift.
Lent*