My friend is emotionally cheating on his gf and I don’t know how to get him to do the right thing.

I’ll start with a backstory of his relationship. He has been with his gf, we’ll call her Emily, for over 3 years now. Their relationship isn’t great by any means, they do not really go well with each other, and I’m surprised they lasted this long. It’s his first relationship and I’m getting the feeling he has been with her for so long out of fear of starting over. Their communication sucks, every time he brings anything up she starts screaming and crying and then ghosts him for 2 days. The plan was that they’ll move in together, for a long while, but she keeps making excuses. He was always complaining that he wants to start building something with someone, he wants to buy a house and start his life, and he has been increasingly feeling like Emily might not be the one for that.

All of those being said, i am not condoning what he s doing and i m actually really mad he s acting like this. To get into the cheating : It’s happening with his coworker, Caroline. For a few months, they have been talking and flirting daily, without the knowledge of his gf. He is obviously really into Caroline, and, knowing him for over 10 years, I can tell he would want to be with her. THE THING IS, Caroline isn’t straight. She considered herself a lesbian and only dated women so far, but has recently started to consider she might be into men as well, however, she said she is not ready to date anyone, especially a man because she has gotten out of a relationship just a while back (that’s when her and my friend became this close and the flirting started). He has once even admitted that he doesn’t know if he could tell her no if she ever actually wanted to have sex with him. It’s pretty clear he fantasises about it quite a bit.

I told him this is officially emotionally cheating. He told me he knows its wrong (never uses the word cheating, just the word wrong) but that i don’t understand, and i ll give some actual quotes: ” If you just saw us together and the chemistry we have, you’d understand” ” She is everything Emily isn’t” ” If Emily was different I wouldn’t need to do this” ” I am not a bad person, I don’t want to cheat on her, if she just fixes our issues everything can go back to normal”

The other thing is, that he is still talking to Emily, his gf, about how to get her to move in with him, the worst part being she is not even from here so he’s basically asking her to move to a different city and leave her family behind to be with him. That goal seems still pretty far away but i think he really should confess about all this before she does move because i believe it would be incredibly unfair if he didnt. Neither him or Caroline will quit their job so he’s still gonna see and interact with her DAILY.

He is just lying to himself. I feel disappointed and I am taking any suggestions about how to convince him to do the right thing. I do feel it’s exhausting and I want to just let him be but i can’t let go of the thought that if i were Emily, I’d want to know. I will only tell her myself if she decides to move here because i think it would be immoral of me to not share this with her if i know she’s about to give up her entire life for a man who’d bang Olivia in the work closet if he could. Unless that happens, i really don’t want to tell her myself because i don’t have enough evidence and i m scared she might not even believe me. If he does something physical, then i will probably tell her, but until then I don’t think what I know would be enough to make her grasp the gravity of it. He will definitely tell her it’s nothing physical and he just messed around, when I know for a fact he’s just waiting for Olivia to give the green light.

I don’t even want to be friends with him anymore, but i really want to at least help him do the right thing because i feel guilty now that i know, and because ofc Emily doesn’t deserve this.