Hello all! I’m not sure if this is the right subreddit for this question, but I’m gonna try!
I ‘F24’ have been friends with a guy ‘M33’ for a while, we get along really well and our personalities Match almost perfectly. Same interests, things like that. I knew he had a small crush on me 3 years ago when we met and he was dating another girl, but I never saw him that way and hoped she would snap him out of it. They broke up over a year ago, and he’s constantly saying how much he likes me and we would be a perfect couple. He asks me why I’m not romantically interested in him and if there’s any standards he doesn’t meet and what I look for in a guy. The amount of times I’ve told him I just don’t like him that way is way over 10, but yesterday he statelets up again and told me he’s been in love with me for a while. What the hell do I do!? There’s no other way for me to say that I’m not interested but I don’t wanna lose our friendship! Please advise me on how to proceed with our friendship and maybe get him to stop asking!
Tl;dr- he loves me and won’t drop the subject but I don’t feel the same.
My friend is in love with me but I don’t feel the same.
r/Advice
Comments
If he won’t respect your no he is not really a friend. Stop the cycle now or lose yourself trying to fix what is broken.
You need to tell him directly that you do not love him. You like him as a friend only and that is not going to change. There is nothing he can do that will magically make you want a romantic relationship with him. You don’t want to lose his friendship but tell him he is pushing your buttons by constantly reiterating his love for you….you get it….you aren’t interested in him that way, tell him he needs to find another woman to be involved in because it is never going to be you. On a side note I had this kind of situation happen to me years ago. He actually asked me out on a date and I thought I better get it squared away pretty quick. We went to a bar, ordered drinks and he asked me why I didn’t want to have a relationship with him. I replied, for me, men fall into one of three categories Peaches, Oranges and Lemons. I want a peach and you are a lemon. He looked stunned and asked me how he could become a peach or even an orange and I told him he can’t, he was born a lemon and he will remain a lemon, to me. What he needs to do is find a woman who thinks he’s a peach. Well we ended our date, he went back to his ex wife and moved to Maine where he promptly got himself killed by getting off a running harvester to pull out something that was blocking the tines, when he did that the harvester continued to move and well, you get the picture. I was sorry to hear of his death but really, in so many ways he was just a lemon.
i’m not gonna lie, the friendship may be doomed if he cannot seem to get through his head that you don’t see him this way. friends don’t badger you into having romantic feelings for them. and you definitely don’t owe him an explanation of why you don’t have feelings for him