I just ended a 4 year relationship after finding out my boyfriend was cheating for months, but honestly the breakup isn’t even the worst part, it’s that most of my closest friends knew and didn’t say a word.
We’ve been a group since college, always hanging out, and they admitted they saw him flirting, sneaking around, even bragging. Their excuses? “Not our place” or “thought you already knew.” Some said sorry, others act like I’m being dramatic and keep inviting me to stuff like nothing happened.
I don’t feel like I can trust them anymore, and I don’t know if trying to rebuild is even worth it. Do I just cut it clean and find people who actually have my back, or try to patch this up knowing it’ll never feel the same?
Comments
No your friends at least real friends
L for the boyfriend and all the friends. A real friend would tell you the truth even though it was uncomfortable. If they can keep that kind of thing from you, what else would they lie or hide? I wouldn’t hang around any of them anymore
wow those are no real friends, not a single one of them spoke up …… that is bullshit. how did you find out?
I’ve been on both sides of this, and there’s no “good” side.
Seen friend cheated on, spoke up: lost the friendship.
Seen friend cheated on, didn’t speak up: lost thr friendship.
I’ve also been cheated on and felt betrayed by my friends, who knew and didn’t do anything about it. So yeah I can see where you’re coming from.
I’m not saying this is how it would’ve gone with you, but maybe they weren’t sure how’d you react, or felt it really wasn’t their place.
In their shoes, tbh, I wouldn’t even know how to bring the topic up. And in most cases, the cheated-on tends to believe their partner over their friends, and the friendship gets irreparably wrecked.
I’m so sorry this happened to you, I hope my words gave you some perspective to better understand what your friends might have thought.
You’re right in that they’re not your friends. Your friends have your best interest at heart. The people in the r/lostafriend sub might be able to give you some good advice.
they are not your friends. real friends would have said something immediately. get rid of them.
I think everyone learned to keep their noses out of the love lives of others around 10th grade. Without proof, what are they going to say?!? “I think bf was flirting.” Bf says “That girl was just my friend. Your friend is just jealous. She was hitting on me at the party last weekend.” Then, you’re out. If your friend saw bf in bed with girl or had some proof…it’s different. If you got engaged…maybe then. Some dude who’s probably going to be gone soon if he is cheating and zero proof…no way. Keep your friends. You’re going to need them.
They showed you exactly where you stand. Friends who knew and stayed silent chose comfort over your trust. That’s not friendship. You don’t rebuild from this; you move on and put your energy into people who value honesty. Don’t waste time patching holes in a sinking ship.
Those people are not your friends
Sorry