Our relationship has always been sorta weird from my end. (8 months) I dont want to give too many details but shes always been a little more negative/unemotional/blunt than me. She proudly calls herself a b***h a lot which is just kinda weird to me.
Anyways, im on the other end, im not overly positive but I get excited about the small things in life (I have severe PTSD and have been doing this to keep my life worth living) and she just doesnt always get it i feel. I get really excited about bugs, plants and animals. A lot of the time I point stuff out and she doesnt even respond, or it isnt the same energy. She also tends to get on the negative end, or disregard what’s going on for me, like examples: today i finally got my paycheck and I really needed it and so I was pretty hyped and her only response was “i still haven’t gotten mine”. Another is i found a candy and it sounded fun so i showed her and she just goes “ew thatd be gross”. I never really know how shes feeling, and i just feel really judged and disrespected around her sometimes. None of my friends act this way towards me and I have really low self esteem, so it just sucks being brought down all the time.
I struggle bc we have similar life values and wants and we do enjoy doing the same things- she is kind at other times. But I just don’t know if I can keep handling this what feels like unsafety.
Tldr: my girlfriend can be a negative nancy and I worry we’re too opposite, and due to my PTSD i feel like im feeling unsafe around her these days. Idk if I should try and make it work or not.
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No, break up, find someone whose personality matches better with yours.
You sound like a fun person & nice to be around. You’re gf does not. I think you’d be wise to move on before she rings all the joy out of you.
You should be able to feel like you can enjoy your interest’s- not get dulled down for expressing excitement. I’m the same way, just female. I have a ptsd and anxiety and depression- and adhd. I get hyper, I get excited, but I’m also scared to be too much. Being with someone who makes you feel like you’re being too much, well it’s miserable. It’s draining.
This obviously isn’t a you problem. But I suggest you go elsewhere to find the relationship you’re looking for, because this person not only sounds emotionally vacant, but just draining.
I get it, there’s good and there’s bad. But you should be able to feel and express and be happy without being put down or feel judged.
I can almost guarantee you a sure fire way to destroy what could otherwise be seen as a compatible relationship is feeling unseen/unheard. Being able to not only be, but to feel fully accepted as you are by your partner, And I don’t mean like them simply pushing you to work on things you need to work on, to be the best you that you can be, I just mean like general things that make you, ya know, you, it can be one of the most silently poisonous dynamics in a relationship. Especially for those with issues in the self love/appreciation/esteem department. Your partner doesn’t have to be interested in the things you get excited about, they just need to be interested in you enough to get excited that you’re excited. If everyone stayed in a relationship that wasn’t working purely because their overall long-term goals align, the world would be an even more miserable place. You deserve to have your energy matched, and to feel like you can be unapologetically yourself without the feeling of being shot down, or “one upped” and most importantly, feeling disregarded entirely.
You mentioned that you have tried to bring attention to the subject, and have been met with silence and dismissal. This should be all the information you need to make a decision, but I understand wanting outside opinion. But my guess is that any one of those friends, who mind you, actually treat you the way that you would like to be treated, will all tell you the same thing. If you are unhappy, you are young and you are not stuck. Do not waste your formative adult years trying to shove yourself into a box you don’t fit in, especially while trying tm to please someone who is locked into pessimism and content with being unhappy. You deserve it, sparkle’m✨