M26 F26. A few days ago she went out with friends which isn’t out of the ordinary “girls night”. I had lots of trust in her. I was at home sleeping because I had work the next day. Well she was entirely too intoxicated to drive home so her friend called me @ 3am to get her. So of course I did. Well obviously it being dark outside i didn’t notice until we got home but she had a hickey on her next and purple lip. She swore up and down it was another female ( still cheating in my book ) begged me to stay and I did but nothing on my end had felt the same since. I’ve lost the desire to be physical with her in any way, i haven’t kissed her since. We live together which is why it’s a bit more complicated. I loved her, we’ve been together 2 years and her family loves me, I love them but I would’ve never done this to her. I don’t know if I’ll be able to get back to normal..
How do i navigate this?
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Man, I feel you. What a punch in the gut. Trust’s the cornerstone of any relationship, once it’s shattered, ain’t easy picking up the pieces. But look, you ain’t gotta decide anything now. It’s okay to take time for y’self, process. Ya can’t just sweep it under the rug and hope it gets better. You’ve gotta face it head-on, talk it out, figure what YOU want moving forward. Remember, it’s okay to prioritize your feelings. Stay strong, bro.
Dude… trust is gone. Living together makes it messy, but honestly? It’s okay to step back and rethink everything. Don’t force normal if your gut’s screaming no.
Welcom to the we don’t talk abt it
Man, I’m really sorry you’re going through this. You’re not overreacting betrayal like that cuts deep, especially when trust was strong. It’s okay to feel disconnected and uncertain right now. Living together makes it messy, but don’t let that keep you stuck. You deserve honesty, respect, and peace of mind. Give yourself space to feel it out, but don’t force yourself to stay in something that no longer feels right.
If she genuinely sorry. She will take steps to show you. If she goes out on another girl’s night. you know she doesn’t care
Was it a girl? Yeah, still cheating. Still, I am with.my cheating bisexual wife and her lover. The heartbreak is tough when you find out. Don’t let her see you be affected tho. That would be the end of her respect.
Dawg. LEAVE.
“Hickey on her next”.. Next to what?😆😆😆
Nothing can even begin to mend until she’s brutally honest about why she did it. Whether it was because of something between the two of you or she is just starting to check out?
Set yourself up to move on and find a new place. Do what you need to do to keep this cordial until you have a plan ready to go.
The fact that she tried to justify/downplay it to you by saying it was another woman tells me all I would need to know if I were in your place.
Moments like this are to take slow. Deep breaths and don’t let anger take the best out of you, keep in mind that she has hurt you and done something horrible to you, but reciprocating will only make you feel worse.
Trust your gut and keep in mind who you want to be.
If you don’t see yourself moving past this then it is time to let her go. When the lease ends go your separate ways. You’re wasting your time trying to fix something that you think is permanently broken.
If its a girl i could get over it personally. Maybe investigate? Ask which girl. Feel out the lies. Then confront the girl she claims it was. See how good of a liar she may be.
I think if thats ever gonna work again she has to do some big moves to gain ur trust again.
there is no explanation for a hickey that i didn’t put on her.
Get rid of her. This isn’t the first time she has been unfaithful. Just the first time you found out. Good luck
2 years. Call it a lesson learned, bullet dodged etc.
Don’t invest in cheaters. Move on.
Doesn’t matter, guy or girl still cheating.
Wipe your arse of her and move on with your life.
You deserve better
I feel the pain. Caught one of my exes cheating and thankfully she owned up to it, but the second girl that cheated on me was in my own bed. Trust was gone forever and we’ve not spoken since I kicked her out to the streets where she belonged. Nobody deserves it.
Now happily loved up with another woman who’s blessed me with two children and would not look back.
To quote Dr. Ian Malcolm, portrayed by Jeff Golding, “Life finds a way.”
I would feel totally disgusted every time I tried to look at her.
She was drunk and possibly pressured/taken advantage of/assaulted – instead of assuming the worst just do some checking by calling her friends and talking to them. Tell them you need the truth but keep in mind they may lie to cover their own asses.
Could consider if it’s an issue about demanding her stop drinking and/or get help.
Some people become something else when they drink, so they need to abstain.
Dump her king
Rule 1, don’t stay with girls that wants to go clubbing if ur in a relationship. Do u think other guys are not gonna hit on ur girl while she is clubbing?
Women always make bad decisions now you combine with alcohol and it is a perfect recipe for disaster.
Ask her to stop clubbing ever again and see her reaction. I wish u the best
Was it really from another girl?
She has done more and never told you about it
Just leave, anything less and she’ll take it as a license to keep doing it.
She crossed a line and you’re not wrong for feeling different now.
Living together makes it messy, but don’t fake normal just to keep the peace tell her you’re not over it and start lining up your options in case you want out.
Two years is not worth the rest of your life feeling like you can’t trust her.
This is why girl trips don’t work for me you can go but I’m gone by the time that airplane lifts off. Your girl can be the most loyal woman on the planet but her friends will keep her single because of the envy and jealousy among women competing in trying to have their wedding day.
Nothing beats alcohol and temptation, that’s a big learning lesson for her, I’m sorry you’re going through this but it’s the right move, this is irrevocably shattered trust beyond repair. This is why cheating is second only to murder in the sin list, because it does feel like an ultimate betrayal and once you start processing it well, sometimes depending on the woman it feels like you’re dying.
Good luck 🙏 stay strong and do yourself a favor don’t take her back it will happen again. Cheaters can change but it takes immense ego and self worth work to do and even with therapy they’ll have relapses over the years before they considered and dominate their ego, which is already a deep spiritual work in of itself 80% of the population don’t even want to start to do.
Sorry bud but its time to start over. She aint the one. Her girlfriend giving her a quick kiss on the cheek is not what a hickey is. Just plan on separating and move on. Find new place to live as soon as you can.
It’s a slippery slope ! Trust me OP she’s gonna lie and gaslight the f out of you ! You’ll never know the real truth whether it’s from another girl or not & it’s gonna eat you up .
This is why we don’t listen to them about the whole “trust” thing… because the more you trust the more likely you give them the opportunity if it were to arise. Time to move on brother, it’s unfortunate but it’s always a learning experience that hurts!
You don’t owe her anything
Unfortunately the trust will take years to come back if it ever does. You need to decide if she’s the one you want to put all that work into trusting again. She didn’t tell you, you had to ask her so honesty is an issue. As well if she had any respect for your relationship she wouldn’t have put herself in that situation. Sorry bud.
If you’ve been together for 2 years surely you can just talk about it. You should be able to tell when she’s telling the truth or if she’s lying about something.
If you go to the infidelity subreddit, there is a question about how long a betrayed spouse thinks about the wayward spouse’s cheating. The overwhelming consensus was they still think about it everyday, even 20 and 30 years later. OP. you are not married and have no children. Are you sure that you can live with your cheating gf knowing that the thoughts you have today will never leave you?
Move out ASAP, think about the rest later.
Why don’t you contact her friends or Choose one that has a bf and talk to the bf first to help you get to the truth.
Sounds like she ultimately has no respect for you. I think you know the answer to your own question.