Me 23 and my gf 22 have been in relationship for 5 years. My gf is way better looking than me. I was skinny for a long time and always had some insecurities over my looks. She used yo keep telling she loved my soul bla bla and I’m a good person. But i did go to the gym, got muscules and my looks did improve.
After this, We went on a trip where she gave me the biggest trauma. We were on bed and she was telling how she was attracted to one guy cause of his looks. It’s not like she is proceeding anything with him on any level and they were just friends(more like classmates). She was like she just finds his looks attractive. She didnt just stop there. She continued saying that she didnt find me attractive cause of my looks and i was no way close to the ideal partner she imagined as kid. But she kept assuring me she loves me soo much and how much i was a good person. I was sitting there going numb in my head and hurt to the maximum. I hated myself that day. I went silent and we just returned from the trip with no words after that. She kept begging saying sorry. What should i do? I hate that she doesn’t love me for looks but on the other hand she does love me well.
TL;DR: my gf revealed she doesn’t find me attractive
Comments
Person who says they love you would never say that to you. She’s emotionally abusive and immature. Dump her and find someone who doesn’t destroy your self esteem. Sorry OP. You deserve better.
Are you her provider option or something?
The only option is to leave her. Why stay with someone who doesn’t even like you?
I don’t think I could be with someone that told me they didn’t find me attractive. Why would I want to waste my time with someone who doesn’t? That sounds like a recipe for pain, and getting used
You can never negotiate desire so I would say cut your losses and move on. You may not be her cup of tea but I’m sure loads of girls would find you attractive.
Cut yourself loose. You deserve to be with someone who is physically attracted to you.
I think physical attraction is important. It may not be the MOST important thing, but it definitely is an important factor when it comes to having a good relationship. The fact that she’d willingly reveal to you that she doesn’t find you attractive is pretty crazy to me. She can love you well all she wants, but think about how she made you feel by saying that? You were literally numb and hurt. And then mentioning how she finds some other guy you don’t even know attractive? Dude. If I were in your position, I’d be ending it. All that will be in your mind now is that she doesn’t find you attractive and thinks some other guys are better looking than you.
I think she’s negging you. I.e. she wants to make you feel like she’s your only option.
Looks are important for first attraction, you must have something there. If she didnt find you attractive I doubt she would have dated you to begin with. But ouch, that still hurts to hear and then even more to be compaired to someone else. You’re right to have these feelings, but know love is much more than looks, however respect is also very important which doesnt feel present here.
You deserve someone who is not manipulative
and toxic. Cut and move
Sorry dude, that’s fucked. That would stay with any one of us. Honestly. Ya gotta ask yourself if you’re happy with her or because you think she looks better than you deserve you’re happy, get me?
It’s true when they say love yourself before letting someone else try and love you. Sounds like ya need to love yourself a bit bud. Not saying break up with her….. just think on it
So leave her? I don’t understand the long winded tangent.