M28
Together for 3 years, we have a kid together, I can’t leave my phone without her going through it.
She went through my history and found I was watching adult content and said she’s leaving me.
I only use it maybe once a week to get some relief if we haven’t slept or done anything sexual together for a while.
Now I’m not necessarily cool with her going through my phone and there has never been a verbal agreement or communication on not watching adult content.
I’ve given her space and I’ve been sleeping on couch cause she said she has to decide what’s she’s doing, I’ve explained I’m willing to do anything to keep this family together.
I was called disgusting, lazy & more. I work 2 jobs to provide for my family and I would do anything to keep them happy
I’m not in denial I know some couples are cool with adult content and other aren’t, I feel bad and I have apologized but I feel like I’ve been neglected in our sex life i have to get off sometimes.
What is your thoughts on this situation
Comments
You feel bad and felt like it violated an unspoken agreement but chose to regularly watch it and hide that you were watching it rather than having a direct conversation and confirming you were on the same page. You knew it was wrong. She shouldn’t have snooped but you were straight up spanking it to naked strangers. Objectively, you fucked up more in the context of honoring your relationship. Get into couples counseling, clearly talk through boundaries, and then mutually honor them.
So my husband and I have been married a long time & we use adult content to keep things spicy. Is there a way to talk to her & maybe change her view on that? As far as going through phones, we give each other access because we don’t hide anything from each other but I understand the need for privacy if she’s so strict about those things. Sometimes we need a different partner if viewpoints are so far off.