I 20M have been getting a bad gut feeling recently when I look at my girlfriend’s F19 phone. Its really getting to me recently that whenever I look at my girlfriend’s phone she freaks out and starts acting really strange and scared. I feel like I’m overreacting and controlling but I have a gut feeling that there’s something she doesn’t want me to see.
My girlfriend always goes on my phone, sends messages, looks through apps etc. But whenever I do it to her she begins to freak out or holds the phone in her hand when I do so. I had done it a few times in the past with her and I’ve had bad reactions to certain things I had seen such as texts with a guy she had sexual relations with years ago, I’ve seen the texts and they were platonic however I didn’t feel comfortable about her texting him.
Last night, she went on my phone and so I did the same and went on hers. She instantly dropped everything to go for her phone, she eventually allowed me to go through it. With her excuse being that she thinks I’m going to do something embarassing on it like she does to me. But her reaction seems a lot more worried than me doing something embarrassing. I started with Snapchat, it was all fine until I went to the search bar. She sprung up and powered off her phone saying she thought I was gonna post something on her story. She then began pretending her phone wouldn’t turn on until it did, she allowed me to go through the other apps like Instagram where I didn’t find anything but that’s all. It seems that when I look, I don’t find anything, maybe I’m not looking in the right places or maybe there’s nothing at all. However her reaction makes me feel as if she’s trying to hide something.
After all of this I confronted her on her reaction and she said she doesn’t feel comfortable with people looking through her phone. I feel as if my hands are tied because I have no worry of her going through mine but Theresa problem with hers. I don’t want to be controlling but I feel constantly stressed and worried that something has been going on.
For context her best friend cheated on someone I know, a lot of times during their 2 year relationship and I’m scared that she might be rubbing off on her.
Comments
Shes definitely up to no good.
Your decision what you do about it. It’s not a court of law, you don’t need evidence.
bruh. simple shit. next time she reaches for your phone you say nope. i dont feel comfortable with people looking thru my phone. give her that same energy shes giving you. see how she likes it
Yeah, she’s not to be trusted. She will most likely be non trustworthy even more as time goes on.
Time to make her your “ex girlfriend”.
You are pretty young to consider a relation like this to be a long one…
As for your problem, if she is super insecure with her phone that means she have something either related to your relationship or not that she doesn’t want you to know.
You are relaxed because you know it’s nothing bad in your phone.
I’d say, either get her and have a serious talk, either test her, use someone to test her and see if she responds to the others or not.
Well I’ll first tell her about your worries. I would also comment that she is hanging out with a known cheater. If then she denies you of fully going through her phone. I’d would just get up and walk out.
Only fans of her to be detected
She’s projecting on you.
She’s already cheating and looking into your phone if you’re doing the same. That’s why she’s not letting you look into her phone.
As an 45 old adult that have been with many married women throughout my lifetime, you have all the reasons to worry about.
She might only be flirting with a guy or sexting at most, but being young and dumb its very easy to actually do it from there.
And that’s only the start of it.
If she didn’t had anything to hide, she wouldn’t act so panicked.
But the most important thing that you can do is to relax as there’s nothing you can do to prevent it. Is she wants to sleep with another guy, she will eventually do it and you just have to accept it and carry on with your life.
But you still need to know so you can understand the level of commitment you need to take with her and be ready for it.
We’re all adventurous and want to experience when we’re young so early serious commitment are actually rare, unless you drive her crazy sexually and mentally, which is, again, rare, cause you lack the experience.
So prepare your plan to check for her phone when she’s taking a bath or she sleeps.
Check for hidden apps, dating apps, deleted conversation, alternate chatting apps, IG/FB.
If she takes the phone in the bathroom with her when she takes a shower also, then that’s 100% there’s something going on.
But start from giving her the benefit of doubt and the idea that she really thinks you might do something awkward.
There’s a small chance that might be true.
If you find compelling evidence, don’t make a scene. Just leave, delete all picture, messages and her number and find a new partner.
Easiest to forget.
We’re all experiences for eachother at that early age, no matter how cruel this is to read.
My ex was similar, she was an overly jealous and suspicious person, constantly going through my phone even if I was in the middle of something, just snatch from my hand, I almost never got a hold of her phone ever, unless she highly monitored what I went through. She would go insane if there was even a suggestion of the mere presence of women in my life outside of her, a cashier a coworker… didn’t matter she would say things like “if you ever cheated on me I would go insane” she even liked one too many posts about work husbands and work wives on tik tok and would scoff like “uh if I ever caught you with a work wife” well… for about a year she had been cheating on me with a work husband and particularly one she told me not to worry about… TRUST YOUR GUT! Us men let women take advantage of us and walk all over us just to use us for their own advantage and then move on to the next “upgrade” I’m not saying your girl is definitely cheating… but generally cheaters will divert the attention away from themselves by playing the “I hate cheaters!” Card even when it’s not a necessary thing to discuss. Anyone who is obsessed with the topic of cheating in relationships either were cheated on or are serial cheaters
She’s got something to hide…. That’s why
I do the same sometimes but that’s only because I got embarrassing tiktok videos of me and my friends 😭😭
Yeah she is being sketchy as hell. The trust is gone from your relationship
Just ask her what she has to hide?
If she’s trustworthy shouldn’t have a problem sharing her phone. There should be nothing in there you don’t already know about really.
If the lie of you’ll do something embarrassing to her well then that’s a 2 way street if she does it to
Yours.
In short it’s sketchy as hell I’d sit her down and say explain why you freak out when I touch you phone? Like it’s a panicked oh fuck reaction not a oh no don’t embarrass me one. So explain yourself please girl. And see what she has to say.
But yeah still sketchy as hell.
I freak out too because my search history is embrassing.