I 26M and my gf 26F. I went and got a physical for work and she came in the room with me a female doctor was my doctor and i got alil not hard but not soft and my gf sat the whole ride home silent then blew up when we got home. I tried telling her that it wasn’t on purpose she didn’t listen. She also gets mad when there’s like a sex scene in a movie we’re watching shell cross her arms and go silent or say you like that? And it makes me totally uncomfortable. I’ve tried telling her to stop doing it she won’t how can I get her to stop?
My gf gets mad because I got a physical
r/Advice
Comments
My ex girlfriend used to feel my dick during sex scenes to make sure I wasn’t getting hard đ
Sheâs more prudish(I donât mean it in a bad way) than you are. Itâs that simple, she doesnât like sex outside the bedroom and probably had a low libido and doesnât get turned on a whole lot. So for example you getting a chubby makes her mad because itâs in appropriate and disrespectful to her(instead of being natural which is what it is). You probably will never get her to stop, this is who she is and if itâs unreasonable for you itâs probably going to be a breaking point later on.
The only thing you can do in line with what you kind of want is talk to her very openly about the difference in how you two view sexuality and hope that she can see a middle ground.Â
This is your future. Think about it.
Dude, leave this type of insecure woman. She is only going to make your life a living hell. I have had so many guy friends who were great guys spend months or even YEARS with crazy girls like that. Best to stop investing now and get out while you can.
Say goodbye and move on. Nothing good will come of it till she grows up
Insecurity. Either find out what the root cause and work on it together or leave.
Staying and dealing with it is going to be an uncomfortable time.
You are with a narcissist. She is very controlling and it is not going to get any better if you stay in the relationship. Ask yourself do you want that nonsense in your life? You are 26 and already dealing with drama at a young age. Brother, it is not going to get better. It is going to get worse as time goes by.
She is extremely insecure and jealous
How exhausting, that woman is going to drain all your energy. Patience or run!
She is so insecure and childish jesus
Iâm a girl and I say get out while you can!
Omg why are you bothering with this immature , insecure âgirlâ? Real women do not act like this!!đ€ŠđŒââïž
Shes obviously gonna get mad since you get turned on bcs of other women. Its petty but try talking 2 her instead of following these comments advice đ
You donât have to defend yourself for something you couldnât control and which ultimately led to no harm. Her insecurities are major red flags and likely wonât get better.
Would you want to see your girlfriend super turned on with another man? What if a man in front of you had everything you might feel you lack and your girlfriend gets turned on?
Maybe you wouldnât care or you would, but I can see how hurtful it is to see if my partner got a hard on for another woman in front of me.
I feel bad for the Dr
Break up with her. Pyscho red flag.
what are these comments jesus christ
She’s not for you. She’s jealous over something that isn’t going to happen.
From a female perspective, her actions seems like rooted in deep insecurity. I am not one to like blame you or men in general but are you doing enough in terms of reaffirming her? Are you calling her pretty or beautiful several times per week? Giving out several heartfelt compliments? Are you attentive and present with her, like have you picked up on her mannerisms or habits she does? Because this may seem like some sort of insecurity of either in relationship or sheâs just insecure of herself.
Either way, I do think you two need to sit down and have a serious mature discussion, because to be honest this is a childish and not a good foundation for an adult relationship. If I had a boyfriend and he got hard at a doctorâs appointment with a female doctorâ I really wouldnât care I get it happens at the most randomest times. But her getting insecure of a sex scene in a movie or something? Itâs like perhaps sheâs acting like you cannot recognize other femalesâ existences in a sexual sense. Like iâm not saying on my god go out and consume all this porn content, but a healthy relationship means that youâre loyal, you donât act upon those urges, and viewing a sex scene in a movie doesnât equal you acting upon those urges or being the bad guy here.
Like thereâs always gonna be half naked girls in the media like pop stars, models, etc, the difference is she needs to have trust that youâre not lusting over them and that process starts within her to be honest, but you two need to have a discussion, I say communication is key.
She likely has some past trauma around sexuality. The unfortunate thing here is that unless she recognizes this is a problem and wants to work on it (hopefully with a professional) then it isn’t going to get any better. The only thing I can tell you is that in my experience things like this get worse with time, not better. You need to think about whether this is something you want to deal with the rest of your life and if you have kids do you want them raised by someone who thinks this way?
Dude sheâs so insecure itâs kind of pathetic (coming from another woman.) would you wanna deal w this for the rest of your life?
Leave, I don’t think the relationship will survive
Dated a girl like that. Break up now.
Have you considered Girlfriend 2.0?
She’s not the one man. This is only going to get worse.
Back in the pond with her.
Thatâs because sheâs only 10 years old. Oh wait. Sheâs 26?
Move on already. She is overstepping to have gone into an exam room with you. That’s suffocating and inappropriate for a simple physical. It’s one thing if you’re getting a cancer diagnosis, but a physical? Do you go into the exam room with her for a pap smear and get peeved a male gynecologist puts his fingers in her parts for an exam? This woman is maladjusted and OFF. Next!
Why is she coming with you to your physical appointments? I would feel like that’s a serious invasion of my privacy.
I agree with everything that’s been said. Now, some direct advice from someone who effed around and didn’t find the right woman until my 50s…BAIL! bail, bail. It’s only going to get worse. Yknow those old married men that seem so beat-down, dispondant? This is why!
You’re way too young to tolerate this nonesens…
Hit the road Jack…đ
There are thousands of better women out there in your future. Hundreds you’ll probably notice dozens and actually connect with. It will be a wild ride if you let it be. Don’t suffer. You don’t have to!
Catholic Latina?
My ex was very much like this, she got mad at me when an oberweis girl gave me a tiny tiny amount of more ice cream than my ex and she was livid, sheâd always say âyouâre gonna leave me for a hot blondeâ she was always jealous, now she knew I had celebrity crushes, we both knew our crushes, I donât care if you have a crush but she knew Doja Cat is my all time celeb crush, and she knew princess kida was my cartoon crush, Doja cat on Halloween dressed up as princess kida and when she showed me the picture, same thing happened, I grew a little and immediately she was pissed off at me, weâll fast forwards several years of this constant âugh men are pigs, ugh all men do is cheatâ wellllll turns out she had a work husband for almost a year, I had expressed to her that I feel like heâs into her and that she should stop accepting small gifts from him, and she insisted that he was nothing and I didnât have anything to worry about, well she dumped me on random work night, took everything I owned kicked me out the house and is now dating this guy she was co dating while still with me. Jealousy is okay in a relationship if itâs small, jealousy can be endearing and show your partner that you desire them. But when someone is overly jealous itâs almost always an act to divert your suspicion away from them and to focus solely on making yourself seem less sketchy. Sheâs sounding a lot like my ex
Dude, run!
Lmao youre with a narcissist. Gtfo before she starts putting her hands on you.
Best advice i can give you, tell her to kick rocks, find someone better for you. Thats hella childish on her part and you deserve someone more mature.
You canât get her to stop. Sheâll stay that way. Jealousy doesnât leave. Sheâs gonna drain you mentally for the small things in life.
WTH is your girlfriend doing in the room with you for a freaking WORK physical? I have been married for 30+ years and I can count on one hand the number of times my partner has come into a doctor’s office with me (and vice versa).
Crazy never gets better. Always gets worse. Just leave.
Why was she there in the first place? No privacy? She isnât your wife or mother. You are giving her too much access so she feels she can tell you and your Mr. Johnson when to STAND at attention.
My ex once got mad at me for having a female coworker…. leaving her was the best decision ever.
Speaking as a married woman, donât condemn yourself to that for the rest of your life. She wonât stop. Any educated person knows you canât always control getting an erection. I mean, you can get one just from it rubbing against your underwear (so Iâve heard lol).
And a sex scene coming on and she gets mad at you? How immature of her. Get yourself a woman thatâll say âhey wanna try that out ;)â when one comes on.
Thatâs a hard road you are taking with this immature and insecure person. Donât stay with this girl.
I dated a couple of women like that.
One of them got mad when I would get served by female staff at a shop! Yet when she saw a cute guy, she wouldn’t hesitate to tell me.
Dump her, now. It is horrible to spend your life on eggshells, wondering when she will blow up at you because you did something “wrong”.
It was only when I got a normal gf (who didn’t fly off the handle at the drop of a hat) that I realised how crazy these others were.
Iâm not a professional but:
I donât dance around peopleâs insecurities that are daily life long situations.
Iâve always told women. If you find me attractive you should be happy and expect that a few other people find me attractive.
And yes I find other women attractive the day I stop is when you should worry.
I did give up being flirtatious and being too blunt in my honesty.
Sheâs need to
growergrow up.If you didn’t accidentally write that the two of you are 26, when in reality you are 14, please get out of this relationship ASAP.
Sheâs not your mother and she has no business in the exam room with you. You should set some boundaries and tell her to wait here next time she wants to escort you to an appointment.
Listen to all the reasons you should not move forward in this relationship. Itâs already a nightmare and will only get worse. She seems very immature and insecure, and doesnât seem to know a thing about male physiology. Dump her as fast as you can can!
She 12 right, red flag, red flag, red flag.
Bro you don’t have to live like this, she’s crazy
She acting like you can control tsđ
LEAVE HA ASS đ
Those kinds of insecurities aren’t going to get better.
Have an adult conversation if that donât work make an adult choose and save yourself
Why would she barge in on your physical?
RunâŠ..fast!
Penises have a mind of their own. They do that. Mature women know that. Dump her. If she is so insecure that you can’t even watch a sex scene in a movie, then she needs to grow up.Â
Why tf is she coming in the room with you when youâre getting a physical, anyway? That alone is fckd.
Who goes into a physical appointment with their significant other?!
She came in the exam room with you? Wtf. She has some serious issues. Run don’t walk.
Thereâs way too many woman out there. Donât deal with this type of bullshit
Youâre in for a hell of a lifeâŠ
Wait your 26 and she came in the room with you for a physical exam ? Like a run of the mill physical. I call BS on that
I would lmao if my bf got a chubby at the doctor. And during a sex scene? Iâd be a little worried if he didnât. Unless it was Brokeback Mountain.
Run for the hills
Bro, this is ridiculous. Escape before she cuts your dick off.
The term you are searching for is Ex-girlfriend…
This isn’t real. Who the fuck gets a boner at the doctor’s office? The dentist I understand, but the doctor? I just don’t believe it.
Dump
True story ?
Why are you bringing her to your physical? Was Mom not available?
Jesus Christ how do you put up with thisÂ
RUN….
My brother, donât waste any more time with someone insecure. Itâs not going to work in the long run and itâs better to do it now than after investing more years.
No no. Don’t be a prisoner in your life. Don’t do it
GTFU as soon as you can..this is toxic đ€Źđ€Ź
This will not change and is not worth staying in a relationship over.
Ask me how I know.
Been there done that. It does not get better. Drop the wench and be happy.
âYes, I like it. Donât you??â
Usually women get like this bc they feel insecure in a relationship with you. Iâd ask her why it upsets her if you want to continue the relationship. If not I donât think this behavior will stop here.
How does she know you got partially hard????
My girl and I look at pretty women together and say she is hot same with men. Dude is good looking we both say it. If I got hard she would just make fun of me .
Do what you will with that info.
My ex was exactly like what you described so.
My husband does attend my physical appointments and all doctors appointments. At my request, I am losing my hearing and canât hear her properly. He has only attended 1 Pap smear and now discreetly leaves the room. But returns right afterwards to hear the doctor for me. He has never made any comments about what he has seen. Except he was stunned by what a Pap smear is and said something like âthat looked painful â. Your girlfriend needs to wait outside. Or better yet at home until she grows up.
Seems very very insecure and jealous. Have a serious talk, and if she keeps doing it, maybe think about if thatâs something you want to deal with
Why is your girlfriend going into the doctorâs office with you?
Yikes
Jesus, this is possession.
Insecure people can make your life hell !
Unhealthy. Its normal for that to happen, even for straight guys and a male doctor. Id ask her what is actually on her mind or upsetting her. She sounds insecure but that doesnt mean you have to break up with her because shes insecure, its her actions and lack of communication/trying to work through whatever the issue is that would be a reason to break up because it seems unhealthy
đ©đ©đ©đ©đ©đ©
She’s immature as fuck. Tell her to grow up and get over herself or end it.
Run as fast as you can, when you think you have run far enough, keep running!
End it now bro
You got a little hard with the doctor?
Man I remember being that insecure when I was younger. I think as women we need to build each other up a lot more. The only advice I can give you, OP, is whether you break up with her or stay with her, you need to let her know how her insecurity is affecting your relationship.
To the curb with her… next.
Tell her that you had a natural, biological reaction to the doctor. If it was a man, it wouldâve been the same.
https://www.akronchildrens.org/kidshealth/en/teens/exam-query.html
Sheâs acting like she doesnât get that little âheartbeatâ feeling in her bean when she sees someone sheâs attracted to.
Just leave her. It’ll be less therapy later if she accuses you of stuff you didnt do.
You can’t make her stop, she is not ready for a serious healthy relationship. She went with you to a physical, and was upset about a doctor doing their job? Imagine reading someone else saying this, what would you think?
Damn, and I thought my wife regulating what type of porn I watch was bad.
I would end the relationship over such immaturity and insecurity tbh.
Iâm a woman and Iâd never even think itâs appropriate to accompany my husband for a medical exam, unless he specifically asked me to for some reason. Which he never has.
>how can I get her to stop?
You canât. Your choice is to either put up with it even though sheâs being incredibly unreasonable and will almost surely continue creating issues where there are none. Or end the relationship and find someone more mature, secure and reasonable.
These are big red flags!
I am going to give you the same advice I gave to a girl in a similar situation earlier. RUN, don’t walk, don’t talk about it and try to see her side, just leave or get her to leave. This is not healthy, she is being controlling and not respecting you. This is not mature reactions. She needs to understand that her choices are wrong and she won’t do that. You are in an abusive relationship, it will only get worse, and she’ll come up with excuses. Leave, before she makes you feel like you deserve it, because you don’t. You are worth more than that, you deserve a healthy relationship with a mature person who respects you.
Find a mature, mentally stable girlfriend. Not a pouting child that thinks “I own every inch of your existence and doings.” Ghost and block all future contact.
This is insane
Ditch the bitch it’s not worth being around that.
Okay so you have a few options here. You could A. End the relationship or B. Find out whatâs making her so insecure. Not just surface level stuff. As a formally insecure partner, it took me a while to see just how unhealthy my ways of seeing things were. I wouldâve acted just like that and now, after years of reflection, I know why I acted the way I did. Itâs not okay but it CAN change.. it just depends if the person is aware of just how deep their behaviour goes and why. Wishing you luck in whatever you decide to do, as well as a great career and so on.
One of my best friends married a controlling bitch like her and now because I’m female I can’t ever talk to him again. Its bullcrap! I’m praying everyday he takes his balls back from her. Don’t be like him. Drop her insecure bitch ass NOW.
As an older man who had to go through some things in the day, I have to say that young men these days are VERY reactive to external stimuli.
You’re not alone. You are average. If your girlfriend feels that your body’s reaction is a threat to her position in your life, she may have to realize that she can’t shame you out of it.
Because that’s what she’s doing. You may not be what she wants, and that’s okay. She can go out and find a man who isn’t attuned to his surroundings. She can find a man who is a little dead inside. There are plenty of them.
You’re young, and you have time to go through a few relationships. Go do that.
Run. Do not pass go, do not collect $200.
Man this happens to like 95% of males. Get over it lady my man has to do it every 2 years. Im just thankful it still works for us. Yes us because ive been married 15 year and still want my man every single day! Men’s parts getting touched by ANY woman something is bound to happen. She’ll get over it. She needs to see it as a thank god he is healthy.
You know what you have to do. It will get worse.
Honestly leave her bro, Iâm kinda stuck because I didnât pay close attention to red flags. Itâs not gonna get better and sheâll probably gain weight as you guys get older imagine how insecure sheâll get then but idk maybe thereâs a lot more that outweighs that stuff and itâll be cool for you.
Dump her
You need to just come clean and be honest with her. HELL YA THAT NURSE HAD A GIANT BOOTY ! she almost had me hard!
Youâre lucky you didnât get a prostate exam. She wouldâve went nuts.
Run
Imagine being this insecure.
That’s insane.