My gf is a starfish….and idk what to do or how to approach it.

My(19m) girlfriend(21f) is a starfish in bed.

I’ve just recently learned the term starfish and it seems to fit her pretty well.

I’ll start off with a little backstory first, skip down if you don’t want to read it all.
I didn’t get into this relationship just for the sex. I made that plan as day with anyone I tried to start a relationship with. She is my first gf, and I’m her first in person bf. She has had one relationship before me that got sexual, it was long distance however and they never met in person.

Me and her have been together for a year now and we’re so happy. We’re each other’s best friends. We seem to have pretty good communication. We make it a point to figure what is wrong with the other person no matter what it takes and to try and fix that problem.

She’s overall an amazing person and I couldn’t ask for better. We plan on getting married once I’m done with college and we have more income coming in.

Skip to here.

We got together in September of last year and we lost our virginity Christmas Day of that same year. At first I didn’t take much thought into her not doing much, since we were both virgins. But it’s still going on to this day. She just lays there while I do all the work. Whether we’re in my car or in a bed. She doesn’t offer to do anything, and even nicly refuses to whenever I suggest it. If she’s on top, I’m the one doing all the work while she lays there lifeless.

At most she may give me a kiss on the cheek or the, very, occasional shoulder hickie. But that’s about it. There have been times when she pulls my head in closer to hers or lock her legs around me, but it’s very rare.

She’ll lay there and give some talk, pound me or harder or pet name calling, etc. But she rarely gets physical.

She’s even refused oral when I offer it to her.

I have no idea if I’m doing something wrong. Or if she feels a certain way about herself. Or if she has trauma from her past relationship.

She’s a very pretty girl imo. But you can tell she envys her friends. I wish I was that beautiful. I wish my hair looked that good, etc. I always do my best to assure her that she is so much more beautiful then they are.

She also had a very bad relationship with her ex. They constantly broke up and got back together, I think 4 or 5 times and they only dated for 6 months. And since it was long distance, if she didn’t do anything for him sexually, like show herself off or pretend to please him and what not, he would hang up and not text or call her for weeks.

There is alot of other stuff I’m not gonna mention, including a checklist of sexual stuff he made her do.
I’m sure this has alot to do with it, but I’m not sure the steps to take from here.

I am a very self conscious person and think very little of my appearance. So obviously when we have sex and she just lays there and closes her eyes, it hurts me.

I feel like I’m not enough or I’m doing something wrong or she’s just using me.

I’m not sure what to do or how to go about this.

I don’t want to make this relationship purely about sex. And I feel like I would be doing that by bringing this up to her.

TL;DR
My girlfriend is a starfish in bed and idk what to do about it.