I (27M) moved in with my girlfriend (25F) three months ago. Everything’s been good, except one thing that’s slowly driving me insane: the temperature war.
She hates heating. Says i’s a waste of money and she likes it cold to sleep better. Meanwhile, I’m sitting there in two hoodies and socks, shivering like a fool. If I turn the thermostat up even a couple degrees, she’ll immediately notice and turn it back down.
I offered to pay extra on the energy bills just so I can live like a human being and not an ice cube. She said that’s missing the point and that I should just adapt.
I know couples fight about dumb domestic stuff, but honestly, this feels bigger. I’m losing sleep and constantly uncomfortable in my own home.
Is this the kind of thing that can be compromised on somehow, or a sign we’re just not compatible?
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It sounds very controlling to me. You’ve offered to pay extra, so what’s the point you’re missing? If she loves you, she will want you to be comfortable, and she will work with you to compromise on a temperature that’s comfortable for both of you. I would tell her this.
The thing is, this is the kind of thing that can and should quite easily be compromised on, but she’s clearly not willing to do that. She thinks that you should just adapt to her temperature, but she has no intention of adapting to yours? So the compatibility issue here isn’t the actual temperature preferences (it’s rare for a couple to prefer exactly the same number on the thermostat). The issue is that instead of having a reasonable conversation about how to keep both of you as comfortable as possible, you’re having a war about it.
You’re not biologically compatible.
I guess the thing is, you can put more clothes on, thermal underwear, heated blankets etc. whereas she can’t take OFF any more clothes if she gets too warm. You need decent thermals bro.
She is controlling and inflexible. Get a new girlfriend
It’s 68 right now in my house and my nose is cold, I can’t imagine 64! I’m confused about the argument that keeping it cold saves money? Doesn’t AC burn up as much electricity as central heating? Genuinely asking because I have neither lol.
Call her dad and tell him she’s messing with the thermostat.
The problem is the lack of compromise on your girlfriend’s part. Many couples don’t agree on the ideal thermostat temperature, it’s a pretty common thing. Most are able to compromise. For example, splitting the difference, or alternating weeks where they control the thermostat, etc.
The biggest issue is that your girlfriend is not willing to compromise or see things from your point of view. Ask yourself: is she as rigid and unempathetic in other aspects in your life together?
Oh man, I know the struggle !
I’m very warm blooded. Any temperature over 20 C is Hell to me. I like it cold and dry. I’m exaggerating a bit, but as long as the water doesn’t freeze in the plumbing, it’s fine to me.
I lived with a girl from the south of Spain, a woman from Egypt and a gal from Congo. You can probably see where we had a bit of a climate issue !
I wouldn’t say it’s a compatibility problem or a dumb fight. You guys just need to figure out a compromise.
Mine was the anti-sauna. I was lucky to have a small spare room while living with each of those ladies. I would use that room to chill, quite literally, at my preferred temperature.
I’m not entirely convinced my Egyptian girlfriend wasn’t a desert cat in disguise. She was starting to feel comfortable at around 30 C and would use me as a heating pad for any temperature under that.
My wife is the same way and when we moved in it was cold. Like I needed two thick blankets. I even bought an electric blanket and used that at night for a little while.
We’ve been together 11 years and now I adapted to her freezing temperature life to where Im no longer cold now.
But I get it 🤣 😂 😆
This isn’t going to work if you fight over this.
Will she allow you to have a heating pad?
Is she your mother?
Are you ten? Not allowed to touch the almighty thermostat all over again.
If my bf wants the ac on while I’m cold, I’ll get my heating pad or tale a shower so hot it warms me up after I’m done.
But he’s never gotten onto me like I’m a child for making myself comfortable.
She should compromise. Keep it low at night but higher in the day when you’re home.
Her house, her rules I guess… 64F would be cold AF here, I keep my thermostat at 68F in the winter and 73F in the summer.
If that’s a limit for her, you have to decide if it’s worth it for you
If you can’t accept it, then there’s no use in continuing
Sometimes, things just don’t work out
Compatibity
If you are willing to invest in order to get more heat.
Invest that money into yourself.
Start lifting weights and eating to match that.
You will adapt to a colder environment over time as more muscle mass, being more metabolically active creates more body heat.
It’s a lot easier for you to adapt to become warmer than it is for her to adapt to tolerate increased environmental heat, decreasing metabolic rate (heat output) is very difficult.
I highly Doubt it’s due to frugality, that’s just her rationalization she likely feels warm.
Unless there is a health reason (there are people who avtially get very hot very easily because of health issues), she should be willing to compromise. Yes, you can put on more clothes when it’s cold but you can’t get less than naked if you are very hot but she just seems to be frugal and unwilling to compromise.
I think the lack of compromise is a quite huge issue. I think she is too rigid, and not giving you any other choices is a kind of red flag, imo.
When people live together, it doesn’t work if you can’t come up with happy medium. So, I’d say if she is not willing to consider your preference at all and only in favour of hers, future doesn’t look too good.
It starts with the thermostat… Someone that cannot compromise is not worth living with. Life with another individual is all about compromise and care for the other. Sounds like you are getting neither. I wouldn’t say run, but this isn’t a good sign of things to come. You’ll be required to adapt to her life and be a shell of yourself. Ask me how I know.
Everyone has a different tolerance for temperature unfortunately. You might definitely be incompatible
She’s hot – what would the compromise look like?
Move out
I like it about 78, wife likes it 69.
72ish is the compromise and I wear more clothes and she’s… usually in less so a win win for me honestly.
I’d be more worried about the “this is my way or no way mentality” as others have said. I”m frugal… but I like being comfortable.
It’s so easy to compromise on this, but you’re correct that the larger issue is one of financial compatibility.
What region do yall live in? Is it always below 64 outside?? Cause otherwise shes wasting energy at some point too.
Also 68 if i recall correctly is the optimal sleeping temp for humans.
If she’s paying the bill then deal with it I guess but she’s really wasteful.
For me, this would bea compatibility problem.
Do you really want to spend the rest of your life miserable and freezing? You are not compatible. End the relationship and move on.
Btw I am an engineer. It’s bad for your home if it’s cold (mold can even develop).
The only problem arises from her answer to your suffering. That should be enough.
This is weird because usually it’s the other way around.
I just don’t get how people set their AC this low and pay their electric bill?!?!
There is a reason why sleep study centers keep the temperature at 65F. Science has proven that is the ideal temperature for restorative sleep. A few degrees warmer is ok when you are going about your day. We keep ours at 68F. (69F in the summer when we’re trying not to spend a fortune on air conditioning).
If you aren’t exaggerating and are truly shivering at 65F then you should see a doctor. Unless you’re geriatric, there’s no reason you should be shivering at that temperature.
Living together is one of the toughest things. Get a smart thermostat. When your gone, adjust it with your phone, like up to 90 one hour, then 55 the next. Keep it up and you’ll drive her nuts.
You can’t sleep at 64 with blankets? That temp is peak sleeping temps. I would consider down to 60 and have an amazing time
Get some actual nice warm clothing and a nice pear of wool socks. It will help counter your weak constitution as you acclimatize.
She likes it cold. You like it hot. Asking if this is just a dumb fight rather than a comparability issue is like asking if a tropic fish would like it in the Arctic.
One thing is that many people need it colder to sleep. But it doesn’t have to be that cold all the time. Could you compromise on having thermostat on schedule? Colder at night, warmer during the day.
64 degrees is insanely cold. If anyone I was dating was that rigid on the temperature I wouldn’t even be attracted to them anymore.
Dumb fights end quickly. Incompatibility issues never go away and cause recurring fights or ongoing resentment.
My wife likes it cold at night as well. Set back thermostats that have a clock to adjust the temperature at set times every day are not expensive and do the job and I don’t mind the cold at night as I just use an extra blanket or comforter during cold weather months.
I literally have a gpu miner in my office to stay at 70 degrees. Thermo dynamics professors don’t bother to lecture on how inefficient this is.
This is a deal breaker, as it is not funny or cute after 25 years.
It’s not just about home, any summer vacation, job opportunity relo, whatever will be about how you can’t do anything without living in a refrigerator.
Where in Reno are you rn that you need heat?? It is summer rn, so do you mean your GF is blasting the AC too cold? Keeping the AC at 64° is not only expensive and uncomfortable, but also bad to breath constantly. But when it DOES become cold and she won’t turn on the heat unless it goes below 64°, you two need to compromise in some way. If she likes to sleep in the cold (which is best for humans, btw) but you prefer it to be warm, maybe you can sleep in a different room?
try thermal underclothes. long underwear and long undershirt. I’d be getting toasty af snowboarding with that stuff on.
also consider getting yourself a space heater. like just for under your desk while you’re using it for example. it’s like sitting outside in the cold and using one of those heat lamp things- something to make you more comfortable in your space.
64* is crazy cold. I like it cold at night too, to sleep….. but no way am I keeping it that cold during the day. And I am quite tolerant to the cold.
I’m going to say you are not compatible.
At night 64f while sleeping under covers is fine, but during the day while you are home it is really cold.
I would recommend getting a timer or smart thermostat, so you can heat your home when you need it, but drop it down when you don’t
Keeping the thermostat at 64 is going to cost hundreds of dollars in the summer because the AC is going to be running 24/7. So not a dumb domestic fight.
Who pays the heat bill? That’s who picks the temp set point.
You might just not be compatible if she isn’t willing to compromise AT ALL. I’m you in my relationship, anything under 72 and Im shivering (also some health stuff probably affects that). My husband set up our system so when he’s not home the house is a lot warmer and when he’s home it’s at 70 and he uses a cooling blanket. When it’s super hot in the summer (California) and the ac is lower, I use my heated blanket. There are solutions and things to use but she also has to be willing to compromise and I think that’s actually your biggest issue. Are there other scenarios where it’s basically “her way or the highway”? Does she compromise at all? And do you want to live the rest of your life shivering.
Im sorry but if your shivering ar 18°C in full winter clothes then there’s something physically wrong with you. Thats not cold enough for that.All the comments dating thats “crazy cold” are deluded. Thats a normal temperature.
If neither of you has the emotional intelligence to realize you could get a heated blanket, or she could get a fan– yeah you should probably break up.
You’re not living in a Hut in the sahara, guys, you’re living in a climate controlled luxury. Calm down your egos and talk to each other like human beings
I have friends- she had lupus and other heath issues and wore as little as possible but was ALWAYS sweating- past menopause. She recently got the flu during chemo which ended up killing her. The house is much warmer. The rest of the family is much more comfortable in the house, but everyone would rather have HER than the warmer house. In the end, what is more important? Having the person and having them be comfortable, or being inconvenienced?
My advice to you is that you’ll adapt. You can’t get more naked than naked!
You can add layers. You can use blankets. You can use a heating pad or a heated blanket. Ffs, the make Velcro heating pads you stick in the microwave and wear around the house!! It won’t kill you to wear socks. There’s always more layers you can add to be comfortable, but you can only take off so much and if they’re still sweating, then that trumps your desire to not wear socks.
These fights are beyond me. I don’t have heating or cooling in my house. It’s common for it to be above 80 in the house in the summer and we can’t even cook, and it’s common for my room to be nearly 50 in the winter. If it’s too hot, we have fans and open windows when it finally cools down which may not be til 2am! We have a wood stove that doesn’t heat the whole house. I’ve adapted. I still love it hot and humid outside, but I will gladly put on layers if I’m too cold.
64f is cold AF.
The incompatibility is that she isn’t willing to compromise. You should have just as much say in this as she does because you live there too. If it’s her way or the highway, choose the highway.
If you’re willing to pay, and she would rather have it warm too but it’s just trying to pinch pennies, I think she’s being rude.
But in general, I’m always slightly more sympathetic to people that need it cold than warm.
After all, if you’re too cold you can always put on more clothes.
If you’re too hot, what are you supposed to do then?
Is it 18 all time? Or just overnight? From your post is not clear. If it is just overnight I would say adapt because it’s actually better sleep T 16-18. If it’s all day I think your gf is mentally ill and you’d probably better find a new one
We keep our house at 64. Lots of blankets, house coats make it easy to stay warm. Get yourself a good pair of house slippers. This will help tremendously. I run hot 24/7
living together is all about compromise. Whether it’s groceries, cleaning, temperature, etc. it’s all compromise, if you are with someone who is not wiling to bend from their preference even an inch, then that’s a pretty good sign on how all discussions will go. If she isn’t willing to move on something as simple as the temperature, she won’t move on anything.
Are you sure your not the gf in this relationship?
Would you be willing to have the temperature lower at night because it helps her sleep? It sounds like that would be a good compromise. Plus you’re willing to pay more on the electric bill for having it turned up to room temperature during the day.
Personally i stopped hanging out with someone who loved artic temperatures in their home.
Granted they gave me plenty of blankets and such but no thank you…. If we aren’t compatible temperature wise, that is something that wont ever change and its too big of a divide…
Sorry not sorry…
Does she sleep in every room of the house?
17 or 18°c where you sleep is fine.
19°c in the living room is standard. If she can’t make compromises, then she’s not ready to live with someone.
Offering to pay extra is really missing the point but yeah you guys are not compatible.
If you cannot find a temperature that works for the both of you, there is no point in continuing the relationship. Based on what you’re saying yourGF is uncompromisingly selfish.
I’ll tell you the same thing I tell my kids – If you’re cold, we have the technology to remedy that. If you can’t manage to get warm when the temperature is 18C/64F with a simple hoodie, might I suggest a battery-powered jacket, as made by Milwaukee Tools, or, and she’s right, you’ll adapt. I’ve lived in hot climates, and cold climates. Give it time, and you’ll adjust.
If she doesn’t respect you enough to care about your perspective or needs then this relationship isn’t going to work. Long-term relationships are all about communication and compromise.
Did this come up before moving in together?
This folks is why you live together before full commitment through marriage or having children. You never know how you’ll get along when you live together.
This is something you guys should be able to compromise on. I prefer to sleep colder too. But during the day she should be willing to turn up the temperature a little.
Also, this is a shot in the dark but… have you asked her if smell is an issue? Like does she keep it like an ice box because something in the apartment smells when it’s hot?
I never try and fight and argument head on. It often fails. Rather try an solve it.
Sometimes, the solution is a third way.
People are often stubborn and set in their way. Even when a communication and heart to heart talk is had they might still do it.
Adapting is part of the game.
Most people in healthy relationships will find some understanding and compromise. Some will be even more stubborn whenever you bring up an issue.
The trick is to find another way and see if it works. Maybe buy her a special cooling blanket so you can have the heating on? Or why not get a heating bed cover for yourself? If she complains about the heating cost for your blanket… well too bad. You shouldn’t compromise your wellbeing.
“Be water, my friend” Bruce Lee.
Get yourself some merino wool under garments and good socks.
Or leave.
She’s likely going through early menopause. All she needs is some hormones and the temperature can go back to normal
I thought the lower the temperature, the more expensive it is?
18 is good. Just put on clothing. That’s a normal temperature
It is September. Are you trying to turn on the heat? Do you live in Antarctica?
64 F is not an exorbitantly cold indoor temperature even in the winter.
cold always wins. you can always put on more clothes but there is a limit to what you can take off.
that being said, 64F is ridiculous. there is no way that’s comfortable. idk where you’re at, but my AC unit couldn’t do that even if i wanted to.
i would express you discomfort with the temperature where it’s at, but i would compromise at a reasonable 67F-68F. 64F is absurd.
you shouldn’t be uncomfortable in your own house, but neither should she, hence the colder always wins thing.
my issue isn’t with the temperature difference but rather the lack of consideration on her part. that’s all assuming you aren’t embellishing details and omitting important information of course.
Anyone who needs a sweater for 18°C has health problems. See a doctor
Time to look for apartments.
64F is a pretty normal temperature. Are you feeling cold only once in bed or all day? Honestly, at that temp I feel like she’s in the right. Bundle up! I had an issue with this recently, bought an additional a quilted flannel shirt and a thick wool blanket for the bed and it changed my life.
That’s cold man. I know that’s what they say is minimum here in UK in workplaces but most of them have heating on hotter.
I’d be freezing too.
I can’t see what problem is if you offered to pay some for it.
Thats my wife and me. It gives me an excuse to buy nice down jackets. I stay warm when its 63 degrees in the house, but I enjoy wearing jackets. Many times the mail woman has given me funny looks. Because its 100 degrees outside and I answer the door in a down jacket and a sock cap on my head! Haha
She is being stubborn and asserting that her preference is “correct” and YOU have to adapt. What a controlling person. I’d leave on that basis alone. She says its a waste of money, then you removed money as a factor for her by offering to pay, then it was “missing the point”. If you want to live your life with everything being her way and your desires never being “the right ones” then stay and put up with it. Otherwise, i’d leave. She wont be happy either way, at least you can try to be.
Hell no, just dump the selfish woman.
You should move out and control the temperature in your own space. Also, tell her if the heating is too expensive, then so is having a girlfriend.
Does she possibly have an underlying medical condition?
I have pots and take medication that makes me heat intolerant. I need the temperature at 65 at night and 68 during the day time. I also had an ex with hyperhydrosis and he needed the house to be frigid in order to not sweat through his clothes even while sedentary.
That being said, 64 is pretty cold for the day time. Unless she actually does have a medical condition I think she can compromise 3-4 degrees.
An equally shared abode – yet refuses to give in even a degree. That is a compatibility issue all right. In future, what else will she be completely unwilling to compromise on? If you can’t stand it then you will either have to give an ultimatum or leave. You can have extra blankets at night, but what about the rest of the time? Your life – think about it.
If she does not give a shit that you are constantly freezing, she does not give a shit about you in general.
Dealbreaker. Either move to a warm country, or dump her. 18°C indoors is fucking criminal, I hate wearing more than a tshirt, in my house.
She has the right to be comfortable in her own house, but you also have the right to be comfortable. If neither is willing to compromise, then you’re incompatible. I’m someone who likes absolutely freezing temperatures and have no tolerance to heat. Having my living space as I want it would be something I’d be unwilling to budge on too.
Change the temperature sensor offset in the settings so 18C is actually 21C
That’s a huge compatibility issue, she’s trying to murder you via hypothermia.
64 isn’t even cold.
My fiancée is the opposite, doesn’t want to use the AC. Anything above 70 inside is way too hot and uncomfortable
The spouse and I like different temperatures and usually I compromise because it’s easier for me to just wear more clothes than have him sweaty and naked (I mean I wouldn’t really mind loll). That said sometimes I’m just like “I’m too cold can we just set the heat a little higher today?”, and he will turn it up.
Not compromising sounds like an issue in itself thoygh.
It’s good for you. Just be cold, shiver, don’t fight it. Convert more brown fat and eventually you won’t be cold.
Look up Wim Hof
I think if it’s truly that she will give zero inches because she thinks you have to do all the giving up, you need to move out
She seems unconcerned with your comfort.
You said constantly uncomfortable in your own home. That’s reason enough to break up. Yes, when possible, you should compromise. She has no interest in compromising. She wants to rule with an iron fist. That’s a second reason to break up. Life is too short to always be miserable.
If you have separate rooms you can get ductless mini splits in each and control your own temperature and not affect the other parts of the house
But if she thinks its a waste of $, thats an issue
18c is… kinda warm. I’d kill to have that more than 3 months out of the year. But it sounds like an incompatability.
My GF keeps the house at 65f and complains that she’s cold. I’m always like stop keeping the house so cold lmao. Doesn’t bother me I just throw on my sweats after work
A cool bedroom is good for sleeping. But just the bedroom, the living room can/ should be warmer. You do know different rooms can be set at different temperatures?
Look I get this is a problem one I share I like it cold my boyfriend doesn’t like cold (should see him in the winter, he’s absolutely miserable) but I’ve always been of the mind set that it’s easier to put clothes on than take them off which he mostly agrees with so we keep it at a reasonable 71 I’m not terribly comfy but I’m also not sweating buckets and he’s not freezing his ass off. If she’s being completely unreasonable and won’t even discuss it you need to decide now if this is the hill you’re willing for this relationship to die on. If this is going to be the straw that breaks the camels back I would suggest next time you get into a relationship make this part of the discussion on turn offs. Hope you guys can work it out.
I prefer 68, my wife 75. I buy heated blankets for her. Have you tried heated blankets? They’re great, sometimes I’ll drop it to 65 to use them
out of curiosity, where do you live that this is an issue right now? and is it accepting immigrants?
Respectfully,
Suffering in 90°F
Do some jumping jacks and get with the program!
She “let’s” you do things?
18 degrees is good temperature to sleep… >>>Meanwhile, I’m sitting there in two hoodies and socks, shivering like a fool.>>>> bit of drama queen?
Adapting to temp is pretty easy, you will sleep better once you have, your body will likely be less inflamed and you will like winters much more… Try sleeping your chest fully exposed, thats how i get myself used to winter temp. We sleep windows open during winter, so temp inside the room gets to about 10 C°. We try to keep the bedroom at low temp allways so we dont waste energy in heating it during day. Took my gf about a year to get used to once she actually started to embrace it. The good thing is that summer starts at around 15C° and I am “never” cold (unless still or wet for hours hunting etc.).
I set it to 18 so the heat doesn’t come on when I have my wood stove going. But I wouldn’t have it over 20 anyway. Maybe she can compromise with 19 or be okay with you using a space heater or electric fireplace.
I do think that if something makes your life miserable, it’s a compatibility issue. Some people can and are willing to compromise, some can’t and aren’t. Not everything is on the same compromise level for everyone.
Since it’s the whole house and not just sleeping, there is no compromise. If it was sleeping, I’d suggest separate rooms.
Funny, my partner could care less what temp i put it,as long as its not extreme, an since i pay the bill,i keep it 72
She’s right about cooler temperatures for sleeping but that’s a low temperature for your living areas.18degrees is the minimum recommended by the world health organisation. But maybe she’s worried about your finances
No living human being likes 64F. She’s a vampire. RUN
I literally could not be with anyone that wanted it that cold. I have Raynard’s and that would make me miserable.
Is this the temperature she wants only at night? Because if it is you can get a heated mattress cover and heat your side of the bed.
If 18 is the highest even during the day then you might need to get an electrically heated vest to wear around the house. Then you can lower the temperature to 15 to save even more money. This would be just to make her uncomfortable for a few days and to show her she is being unreasonable.
You do need to have a serious conversation without any distractions. She needs to know this is a deal breaker for you.
Saying you should just adapt is the exact logic you could use on her lol. Sounds like she isn’t keen on compromise in general. Are there more examples similar to this? If so, maybe reconsider the relationship. If not, have you explained to her how big this actually is for you?
You can dress warm, like you’re doing, to help. You said you offered to pay the difference, why not just the whole bill, but with a compromise on the temp.
The one thing you didn’t say was what your preferred temperature was. Do you want it something crazy, like 26C/79F
Your girlfriend is a psycho. There are jurisdictions were its illegal to have a rental that cool.
I remember when President Jimmy Carter, in the 1970s during the gas crisis, asked everyone to turn their heat down to…68…to save energy.
People moaned and complained about it the entire winter.
64 is bonkers cold.
>Health experts recommend maintaining indoor winter temperatures at or above 65°F (18°C), especially for older adults, as temperatures below this threshold can lead to health risks such as weaker physical strength, poorer sleep, higher blood pressure, and other issues. Landlords in some places are required by law to keep temperatures at least 65°F during winter for these reasons.
>Typical preferred winter thermostat settings among the general population tend to be between 67°F and 70°F.
>Many older adults reportedly keep their home temperatures below 65°F mainly to reduce heating costs, despite most guidelines and studies indicating that such low temperatures are generally too cold for health and comfort.
Welp… this might just simply be an issue of incompatibility. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life shivering in your own home? Do you want to force her to be overheated for the rest of hers?
She won’t compromise on a temperature that you can both live with.
Is this the only thing she won’t compromise on?
It might just be as simple as you both really need different temps to be happy, and it’s impossible to have two different temps in the same home, and therefore, you should probably break up and find others who are more suited to each other.
But it might also be deeper than that.. you “should just adapt.” Why? Why can’t SHE be the one who has to adapt? Is she always going to expect you to be the one to give in and be miserable?
I think it feels bigger, because it probably IS bigger. Sometimes what seems like a petty detail is actually demonstrative of a much deeper issue. Don’t ignore your gut.
I’d be packing my bags.
Tell her during the day you’ll have it at 20 or 21 and during the night you’ll set it to 18
The cold doesnt bother her anyway, well then she can freeze by herself.
Dumb elementary level fight.
me and my partner just said if you always wanna heat it you pay a bit more for it.
This is her place you’re living in, and you haven’t told us why you chose to move in with her. Living with a lover is usually done with the goal of learning if you’re both compatible enough for marriage. If you jumped the gun and moved in with her for financial reasons, and aren’t paying half the joint expenses, then I would say you need to live somewhere else or just suck it up and deal until you can get your own place again.
My daughter runs her house like your girlfriend regards heating or lack of. I couldn’t live with her! Generally women feel cold more than men so it’s normal that women run their houses warmer than men do. So you have a big problem. Why not seek a compromise that the main living spaces are kept warm, but you accept the bedroom at ice box conditions. You can wear thicker pyjamas if need be. It is definitely true you sleep better in colder conditions.
Fuck artificial heating/cooling honestly. It seems like It’s always a problem for someone, because someone will take it too far with the thermostat, or the AC unit will be directly above someone.
At work, Jim and Tom are constantly fighting because of the AC. One will arrive in the room and turn it on. Then the other arrives and turns it off because It’s too cold. This repeats throughout the day. Meanwhile I’m fine with either temperature, but I’ve had times where it was cold enough to make me sneeze.
Honestly I just think we’re better off without it.
RIP to your electricity bill lol
If it’s a dial can you turn it up, remove the dial and put it back on so that it looks like it’s set at 18 but is actually whatever you want it to be?
I grew up with a bedroom over an unheated garage and basement. It was always cold, but we did not care, we wore thick socks and sweaters. My husband grew up with a wood stove in the living room wearing shorts and a t shirt all winter. Riding in his truck with him is like riding in a dryer! Thankfully we do 65 at night and 70 during the day year round.
I’m comfortable at 18°, sometimes 19.
She’s going to be screwed when she hits menopause if she gets hot flashes.
Life too short . Am not staying cold for anyone.
We roll at 69. 68 at night. It’s a little too cold for me barely but it makes a big difference on the Bill. 76 for cooling in the summer. The rigid no compromise thing is a problem and will likely get exponentially worse in other areas
Couples need to give and take.
Hubby is colder in the wintertime. I got him a few pairs of flannel lined jeans and tons of flannel PJs, He also has a space heater in his office, if he is still cold. we keep the heat no higher than 68F.
Do you guys have the heat/aircon on all night?
I couldn’t even imagine
During sleep time, yes it’s understandable that the temperature is lower but at all times, that’s insane.
You’ll feel better when you see the electric bill in winter.
Wow 18 is low. My wife and I like it cold and we keep it at 20
I love the heat hubby loves it cold. It’s a battle but we compromised. I wear more clothes in winter and less in summer …he loves AC I hate it but I know winter he hates the heat so I wear a sweater and use a blanket and set it at 20° that’s our compromise
I don’t think you’re compatible.
It is generally advised to lower the temperature when sleeping (some doctors say around 68F or 20C) – but that’s just overnight.
During the day, most people would find 18C far too cold, and even at night that might be too chilly for some people.
This is something you either need to agree on or cut your losses. If she’s absolutely unwilling to compromise, and 18C is too cold for you (it would be too cold for me too), then you might need to break up.
Does she also wear warm clothing or is does she feel warm without extra clothes?
Women are usually colder than men. Maybe she has a problem with her thyroid.
Might want to check your iron levels.
How was this not a thing before you moved in? You just never visited her place or what?
I wonder what your ideal temperature would be. If it’s above 20°C that is quite a lot when someone is used to 18°C. We went back to 18°C when the war in Ukraine started and gas got some ridiculous prices and have kept it that way as we’ve gotten used to it. With the house holding in the heat it’s been pretty shitty for the past few months being about 24°C inside for me.
Does she have a condition that makes her heat intolerant? Cuz let me tell you, after I got Lyme, even 74° will have me on my back gasping under a ceiling fan, holding cold water bottles in each hand. (It’s the gd STUPIDEST symptom ever: oh ho let’s make you get sick from A NICE DAYYY)
Unfortunately, I am married to a freeze baby, and the reality is it’s a lot harder to wear warmer layers than it is to try to cool off if it’s too hot. Car rides where I’m in the sun and he’s in the shade are the w o r s t, there will be times I’m sweaty and verging on queasy, but he’s nearly shivering. (And no, we don’t have a fancy car that’s got custom temperature settings. I’m half tempted to buy him a little seat warmer, but so many of those electric doodads are fire traps these days). But I DO carry a personal fan everywhere, and if I know it’s going to be godawful, I’ll wear a cold-soaked neckerchief.
At work they keep the temperature 14-16 °C and to give more context, its in the middle east. We are so used to the great but not cold weather. I can’t really function well with this temperature and I wear winter clothes then during peak summer temperatures when it reaches 50 degrees.
At home it is more of the can’t but at least the temperature is 20 and the my room is warmer than that thanks to my PC.
I’ve been fighting this AC war for 2 years and I actually gave up. I just wear winter clothes all the time I’m at home or work maybe try a heavier jacket/hoodie at home instead of wearing 2 light ones. I change to regular clothes when going out. At night there can me multiple ways to keep yourself warn
Meh, I like it cold I’ll take her
For sleeping both of us are happy with the heating off, or at least about 16C. For the rest of the house we are about 20C.
Oh hell no. For me that is a deal breaker. I literally could not live like that. It has to be comfortable for BOTH of you.
She still thinks it’s her place and her thermostat, you need to have a real blunt conversation with her.
Australia from Melbourne 18 is the temperature for sleeping in winter, 20+ is for the day.