She reads those wattpad stories etc and feels sad about the fact that im not like those guys in those stories. I dont have a problem with her reading those stories. To me it feels like she is confusing fiction with reality (probably because we are still teens). I feel scared to be obsessive because it can kill feelings and it is overwhelming for the other person. She is obsessed with me, its clear because within a month of dating she has done and made a lot of things for me. I do not know if I’m slow or she is moving too fast with this. I did love everything she has done but it was so much that it overwhelmed me and has been making me emotionally confused. And about the touchy part, i have always asked before doing something regardless of how big or small it is so its not for me. Yes i do like physical touch but she wants more of it (or atleast what it seems like). Im confused, what should i do?
I apologise if its a silly thing but im lost and i have no one to ask this about. Also, if possible please tell me how one can stop overthinking and care less about stuff (i am very antisocial and spend most of my time alone which is why i overthink probably)
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How much has she outlined what she wants/expects from you and how much are you having to gather from cues and vibes? Do you feel comfortable fulfilling those roles? Does she understand that you feel overwhelmed, confused, or pressured?
Ask yourself these things and try to sort in your head which parts the both of you may be on different pages on. The gaps between how you both understand things are what causes this sort of anxiety, and can only be bridged through having one, mutual understanding. Maybe there have been miscommunications, or there are compromises willing to be made, or you find out that maybe there are some incompatibilities (which may not sound great, but it’s better for everyone involved to acknowledge.)
The most important lesson you can learn first and foremost, especially in young relationships like these, is when and how to communicate and set boundaries. I promise that you that you will learn these things either way. If you don’t learn how to be honest and direct with your partner though, then that lesson will be very cruel to you. Neither of you want that.
Maybe one day you will think this is silly, or maybe not. You’ve only been dating for a month, and teenagers are prone to things like puppy love, idealized relationships, and wanting to explore things. On the other hand, I find that there’s a pretty equal divide between my friends and whether or not they regarded their high school relationship drama as just an embarrassing, hormone-fueled memory, or something that fundamentally changed how they viewed relationships then on. In either case, this is something that is causing you real distress in the moment, and that itself warrants regarding it as something that is affecting you without shame over whether or not it’s “silly.”
There’s no easy solution to do away with overthinking, but learning to trust in people to be open about your feelings, and trusting in them to do the same, will always quell some level of what your brain would otherwise try and piece together on its own. I wish you and her the best! Young love comes once and deserves to be enjoyed!
The first few months of dating should be fun and exciting, but don’t do anything you’re not comfortable or you feel isn’t you.
You are absolutely right that she is confusing fiction with reality. The wattpad stories are ridiculous and unrealistic. She wants someone to be obsessed with her, which may sound nice I guess (not to me personally), but in the real world, that would be a very unhealthy relationship. You seem more mature than her. I would let her know how you truly feel. You don’t have to be obsessed with her to be a good significant other. It sounds like shes trying to shape you into who she wants you to be.
So please, don’t change who you are to try to fit someone else’s description of their ideal boyfriend. No one is perfect. Be yourself. The right girl will come along.
First of all communication is so incredibly important for a relationship to thrive. She is communicating her needs for affirmation and physical affection. Women (teens girls especially) just want to feel loved and wanted. A kiss on the forehead or a hand on the knee can go a long way for us.
if you feel like that isn’t something that you can do or that its becoming too overwhelming, talk to her about it. whatever you do try your best to make her feel heard and appreciated. There is nothing worse then feeling like you love or care about your partner more then they love or care about you (speaking from experience) relationships are about compromise and if she is expressing a need that you aren’t necessarily comfortable with you need to find a middle ground with her.
As for the overthinking I feel ya buddy. It’s really easy to pick apart every interaction but in doing so you can also ruin a relationship romantic or otherwise.. so tread lightly and try not to let yourself obsess over the little things.
I hope this helped. Its hard to give my accurate opinion your situation without all the little details