I wouldn’t know for sure if I should label my girlfriend (22F) as “emotionally dependent,” but I don’t have a better term, so I apologize. She’s a very jealous person, and her constant phrases like “I couldn’t live without you” have me genuinely worried. She’s gone through very difficult situations in her life, and I partly understand why she is the way she is. She has practically no close friends or anyone to lean on, and despite all my efforts to encourage her to see life and relationships differently, she stays stuck in the idea that she’ll never need anyone but me—and that I will never leave her.
But that’s not the case. I’m really tired of the relationship and how things have unfolded. We don’t understand each other, and we’re very different people. Small things always turn into endless arguments, and we never truly solve our problems—we just ignore them. That’s damaged our relationship to a level that, for me, is already beyond repair.
I don’t want to stay in a relationship where we’re both constantly feeling guilty and afraid that the other person will be hurt by what we say or do. We did everything we could to build a healthy relationship, but her constant jealousy and her demands for me to change who I am have honestly made me feel exhausted with everything.
And the worst part is that I constantly feel guilty, because I know I reinforced many of her patterns of thinking and behavior. At the beginning of our relationship, I was the one who told her I could change for her, that I’d do anything for her, and that she’d never lack love from me. In reality, all of that was a lie—not out of cruelty, but because I didn’t know how to measure my words when I was with her. And now, I don’t act the same way I did in the first two months of our relationship.
I know she’s not going to take my decision well, and I don’t know how to handle the situation. I still feel like I love her, but I no longer want to live like this for the rest of my life. Neither of us is going to change enough for us both to be happy at the same time.
TLDR: My girlfriend (22F) and I (23M) have been in a relationship for 3 years, during which she has shown emotional instability, and I don’t know how to end the relationship.