We dated for a little over a year. Last we talked in person she wanted to marry me to stay in the US. Then she texted breaking up by saying she didn’t love me anymore. I feel I am selfish for wanting to talk about what happened and what we are, but I’m hurting so badly from what she did. She just moved back to Germany from the US immediately post breaking up, and I’m still in the US. The bad personal news is that her grandma has kidney cancer, which is obviously a very serious diagnosis. Since then, I’ve begged her to talk but she’s pretty much ignored me, and she’s just said she’s too depressed in bed to respond right now. If this is her trying to soft breakup (again), I don’t know if I should just give up. I’m hurting so much and worried I’m going to get fired because of my preoccupation with this and I’m drinking every night to numb the pain. On the other hand, how do I give her more understanding without breaking myself.
TLDR: Gf of a year unexpectedly texts me to break then calls to get back together. Then, she finds out her grandma has cancer and she’s ignored my requests to talk since. If this is a breakup by ghosting how do I move on? How can I ask to talk without being selfish without making a fool of myself and disrespecting her?
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Let it go. She’s already broken up with you, and clearly gave it a lot of thought.
It sucks what’s going on with her grandma, but it has no bearing on your relationship ending.