We’ve been together for 6 months and she (24F) still brings up her ex constantly. “Oh Jake used to take me to this restaurant” or “Jake and I went to that movie.” I (27M) get that they dated for like 2 years but I don’t need to hear about him every single fucking day. When I mentioned it bothered me she said I was being insecure. Maybe I am but it’s hard not to feel like I’m competing with this guy. Last night we were watching Netflix and she goes “Jake hated this show” and I just lost it. I ended up going for a walk because I was too annoyed to sleep. It’s not just the casual mentions either. She’ll compare things we do to things she did with him like “Jake and I used to go hiking every weekend” when I suggest we go for a walk or she’ll like tell stories about their trips together when we’re planning our own vacation. I’ve tried changing the subject but she doesn’t seem to notice how uncomfortable it makes me. I really care about her but I’m starting to dread hanging out because I know his name is going to come up at some point. My friends think I should just tell her to stop talking about him completely and if she says no just dump her. Thoughts?
TL;DR: my gf mentions her ex everywhere we go
Comments
She’s not over “Jake” bro.
sure you could get her to stop talking about him if she agrees- but the fact that he’s always on her mind, that’s the bigger problem than her just talking about it. It’s not a little quirk she has, she is clearly telling you hi I’m not over Jake, everything we do reminds me of what he and I used to be, he’s always on my mind and I can’t so much as watch a show without recalling Jake’s thoughts on it. It’s crystal clear bro she’s not over him and that’s her problem not yours. Let her go so you can be with someone who’s not hung up on their ex. Everyone has exes not all of us are constantly thinking of them.
May be time to offer some petty revenge…you should constantly talk about one of your Exes and see how she likes it. If she gives you shit…just tell her that she is being insecure
Plan B–move on KING!
Tell her to shut up about Jake every single time she mentions him. Every single time. She will eventually get annoyed and stop. It is possible she jumped into something new way to quick and the Jake thrill ride is still fresh in her mind. You make that call.
If you tell her to stop it’s just going to play in her mind. Confront her about it and let her get it out of the way or let her get out of your way.
Ask her if she still has feelings for Jake. Keep in mind if she says “no she hates him” that’s still a feeling.
you’re option B brother, be someone else’s option A
Throw away the whole gf
Tell her you’re breaking up with her because she never stops talking about her ex. Let her realize the cost of her behavior
Bro she’s not over the ex. It’s only been 6 months with . Talk to her and leave. Unfortunately, you will always be 2nd best.