TL;DR:
My girlfriend (25) casually mentioned getting married when she turns 26 so she can stay on health insurance, and said it was her mom’s idea. We’ve been together 10 months, and the idea made me uncomfortable—especially since marriage has come up before and I’ve expressed I’m not ready. We both have divorced parents and emotional baggage around marriage, so this feels like pressure I’m not sure how to handle.
So, my girlfriend and I have been together for about 10 months. I’m 24, she’s 25. Things are good between us overall—she’s sweet, we laugh a lot, and I get along well with her parents.
The other night, she casually mentioned something about getting married when she turns 26… so she can stay on health insurance. I was like, “Wait—are you actually asking that?” It caught me super off guard. She kind of laughed and said it was her mom’s idea and admitted it sounded odd. I didn’t really respond at the time, but I brought it up later because it was still sitting with me.
She reassured me she wasn’t seriously proposing anything, just kind of floated it out loud. But still… it felt weird that that’s even a conversation she’s having with her mom. Like—marriage for insurance? That just felt transactional in a way that freaked me out.
This isn’t the first time marriage has come up, either. Early on in our relationship, she brought it up again—that time I was high and she wasn’t—and it made me seriously uncomfortable. I made it pretty clear that I wasn’t in that headspace, and we kind of moved on from it.
For context, both of us come from divorced parents and have our own baggage with that—daddy issues, trust stuff, etc.—so marriage isn’t something either of us grew up idolizing.
I guess I’m just trying to figure out: am I overreacting by feeling weird about this? I love being with her, but the idea of getting married for something like insurance (and having her mom suggest it?) just hit a nerve. Maybe because it feels like pressure I’m not ready for—or like I’m being seen more as a solution than a partner.
Would love to hear thoughts from anyone who’s been in something similar, or just a gut check. Thanks.