My girlfriend and I have decided to try to be more active and go for more walks and hikes in nearby areas. We’d prefer this to the gyms it allows us to go to nearby towns we wouldn’t have otherwise visited so instead f going to the gym on weekends this is what we’d do. We’ll still be going to the gym 2-3 times during the week.
My girlfriend is slightly overweight whereas I’m a healthy weight but we both want to be healthier.
We were talking about how often we were going to go and my girlfriend said at least one fairly long walk per month, with it going to at least two when the weather is nice as we’d only be able to go on weekends.
I was fine with that and told my girlfriend I’d like at least one weekend where I do nothing and just stay at home relaxing, catching up on tv, reading, playing video games etc. just a chilled weekend with no other plans.
She said she thought we were going to be more active and I pointed out with our plan we will be but that doesn’t mean I don’t need downtime. I said having time to do nothing is healthy and needed to not burnout. She said it would be a waste of a weekend but I just told her it wouldn’t be wasted for me and if she doesn’t want to then she’s still free to make her own plans.
She just said it looks like I’m already looking at not sticking to our plan but I just told her being more active doesn’t mean spending every free day being active. I said it’s not heathy to not have a few days off.
She just said I shouldn’t need a weekend to relax and that it’s too much but I disagreed. She said I should be open to make plans but I again told her I would be making plans for the majority of the weekends and I’ll be taking one for myself.
How would you handle this?
Tl;dr my girlfriend and I are planning to go on walks/hikes on the weekends. We said it will be 1-2 per month. I said I’d be taking a weekend a month to just recharge and relax at home. My girlfriend said in not taking our plans seriously and that I should be open to make plans.
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I think there’s a compromise to be made here. You want one weekend a month to be chilling, but there’s no reason that one weekend can’t also include going for a walk each day – just have that designated weekend be the one when you go for shorter walks. You’ll still get plenty of time to chill out, relax, play games, etc., but you’ll also get some exercise in for an hour or two.
I think it depends how rigid you are with it. Say you have one month where you have 3 events at weekends that you can’t miss e.g. weddings or family things would you insist that the fourth is one where you just play video games or would you still allow for you both doing something together?
I don’t understand. If you’re only taking 1-2 walks per month (I assume not more than one in a given weekend?) that leaves two other weekends. What’s the problem?
Ithink it’s totally fine to want a no-plans weekend. We try to make sure we have one every month. We still do the usual chores, but don’t make any social arrangements or other outing plans.
It sounds like she’s anxious to make this happen and worried that your weekend off means it doesn’t. And if she’s the one more worried about being active, i can see where the anxiety is coming from.
Would a calendar solve it? Sit down together with a shared calendar and block out the regular walks, plus your weekends off, so she can see her plans will happen?
She’s being unreasonable. You’re your own person. You decide how much exercise you want to do. If she wants to exercise every single weekend, she’s perfectly capable of doing so without you. You’re not attached to the hip, JFC.