Background: my girlfriend and her best friend grew up together, but distanced when her friend became heavily addicted to coke. They always make plans to hang out but her friend cancels every time, so this is the first time they’ve seen each other in 2 years. My girlfriend and I don’t live together on paper, but I spend 28ish nights a month at hers and have been told it’s basically my house. Her and I love each other more than I’ve ever seen people love one another, I can’t explain how amazing she is and makes me feel most of the time.
Her friend bought them tickets to a music festival, and my girlfriend immediately asked me if I wanted to come. I said I’d love to but don’t want to interfere with their time together, but both of them insisted I come because it’ll be more fun with me there. The next morning/afternoon my girlfriend and I had a road trip planned to see my parents as well.
While there one of the openers performed a song that has importance to mine and my girlfriends relationship, so I asked for 3 minutes to dance with her. Her friend said that’s fine but she gets the next 3 hours, I agree. Later on in the night my girlfriend goes to the bathroom, and her friend goes off on me. She tells me how unwelcome I am there, that neither of them want me there, and that I have ruined the night. I’m told that my girlfriend only invited me so I didn’t feel left out. I apologize for overstepping, and we make a plan – when we get back to her place I’m gonna go to bed, theyll have their night in the living room, and my girlfriend and I will hit the road in the afternoon after they spend some of the day together.
My girlfriend gets back, I try my best to smile through the hurt for 10 minutes then go to the bathroom. While I’m gone the concert ends, we have a hard time meeting back up, and I walk 10 blocks back to my girlfriend’s place while they Uber. We get to her place, and I stayed up with them for one drink so it didn’t seem awkward, kissed my girlfriend, and went to bed.
5-10 minutes later her friend barges into the room, demanding I leave now. She tells me how unwanted I am there, that I never should have been there from the start, and that she “wants to sleep in the bed with [my girlfriend] like they used to”. I get upset at the disrespect I’m being shown in my own girlfriends house that I effectively live in, and that I don’t want her naked with my girlfriend in bed.
The argument bleeds back into the living room while I’m packing my stuff up, and my girlfriend immediately sides with her friend. My girlfriend tells me I’m unwelcome and kicks me out. I plead my case at how unfair that is, to invite me, insist on me coming, then tell me I’m unwelcome. I also plead that a partner should have their partners back, my girlfriend responds that she didn’t even know what the fight was about and defaulted to siding against me.
I texted my partner at 8am to let me know when I can come get my stuff when she wakes up around 2pm (night shift worker), but she texts right back that I have nothing there. The first time I’ve ever seen her up at that time is the first time I’ve seen her hang out with a cocaine user. Now she’s going off about how I’m a narcissist, I always make everything about me, and how immature I am for being upset about this. I told her I would never let anybody show her the disrespect I was shown in either of our houses, and she argued that I was not shown any disrespect whatsoever.
TL;DR: my girlfriends estranged drug addict friend kicked me out of our home and told me neither of them want me there, my girlfriend sided with her and made me call an Uber. This relationship is over, isn’t it?
Comments
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We’d like to take this time to remind users that:
We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors
We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.
Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)
ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.
No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users “friend-zoned”, referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me’s, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.
All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don’t get a free pass.
Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned.
What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, “body counts” or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.
If you have any questions, please message the mods
This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Your girlfriend is doing drugs with the friend.
“Cocaine is a hella of a drug”
Yep, it’s over. Tell her all she has to do is arrange a time for you to pick up your stuff or for her to drop it off, and you’ll be out of her way permanently. If she continues to be hostile about it, and there’s anything you desperately need, you may need to see about arranging a police escort. But this is way more drama than you need or want.
Sheesh… GF reconnects with a “friend” who spews toxicity out of her pores.
And your GF instantly turns toxic with her.
This friend sounds like a terrible influence and they sound horrible together. Her toxicity instantly rubbed off of your GF.
If this is what was sitting in the weeds for you regarding your GF, just a toxic mess waiting to come out… It should be you questioning the relationship.
I don’t know how long you and your GF have been together. But sounds like she is about to go on a coke binge path.
I’d get out of the way for that train wreck.
bro give me a follow up on this cause this is beyond wild. Your girlfriend does not respect you especially choosing that friend over you and that whole situation is fucked. Cut her loose man and let her be naked with her friend in bed coked out you are better off without her
Yup, your girlfriend is taking drugs with her friend, so her personality has completely changed. She might doubt her actions later, but it’s better you cut ties. If you have stuff at her place you really need, wait a week, then schedule a time to get it. If you don’t need the stuff, just block her on everything. She’s not the person you thought you knew.
Updateme
Your gf probably started doing drugs, it’s over gather the rest of your stuff upper deck her toilet and block her
Damn, you should be calling her your ex-girlfriend. The disrespect they threw at you is unforgivable. Stand up for yourself. Way too passive, brother, pleading your case and begging? C’mon, man, you did nothing wrong, and don’t allow ppl to bully you.
GTF away from her.
A 32 year old acting like she’s 12.
She ended your relationship the second she gave you the boot.
I’m going to hell for this, but if she’s choosing her old drug-addicted friend over you in a situation where she should have stood up for you… what does that say about the kind of loyalty she’s willing to give? How can you trust someone who lets others take precedence when it matters most?
These posts cant be real anymore. 90% of this sub is just ai slop karma farming posts now.
I’d have the police meet you there to get your stuff. Your gf is an AH and you need to protect yourself.
Sounds like maybe she got drunk/high with her friend and banged someone else. (friend probably put her up to it)
This is a common tactic from woman when they cheat. If you found out she cheated, you would break up with her and everyone you guys know would find out.
She may be trying to get you to dump her
I’m not sure how much more of a kick in your face you need. This girl is toxic and now the druggie is in the picture. It’s easy to see that she’s got her doing coke now.
Run… Run as Fast as you can.
If the stuff you have left there isn’t clothing or something more important or expensive, just leave it.
Block her
I would never allow someone to treat me like that and then stay with them. It should be over after that. She’s 32 years old. If she wants to have a bender with an old friend, she’s had plenty of years to figure out how to communicate that beyond a middle school level. Zero excuse to treat you like dog shit.
She’ll crawl back when the money/drugs run out. Don’t allow it.
Your girlfriend is an asshole. Have law enforcement go with you to retrieve your belongings. Leave your key for her place there, make sure you get the key for your place back if she had one. Then, block her on everything. Let everyone know exactly what happened. Don’t let her and her addict friend paint you as the bad guy.
UpdateMe
Yep, peace out.
Get your shit, and step away from the trainwreck. Don’t set yourself on fire to keep her warm when she wants to come back. She’ll do the same shit again once she snorts more snow.
Updateme