For context, my girlfriend and I have been together for almost 4 years and we’ve been living in Charlotte for almost a couple years. We were originally from Upstate NY, but we moved to Charlotte in hopes of better career opportunities and to escape the snow that New York is known for. Fast-forward to today and my girlfriend is out of work for 7 months and I’m still stuck in the same remote developer job that pays well-below market wages.
My GF brought up the idea of moving to Tampa, Florida and was adamant on moving there before the end of the year. I would eventually like to move down to Florida, but her timeline is way too aggressive IMO. We both still have a lot of debt from our last move (from Upstate NY to Charlotte) and more added from her medical issues last year. She is confident that once we move down there, she will not only be much happier, but she will also be able to have a job lined up right away. She is also confident that I would have no problems getting a better paying job down in Florida. I do not share this level of confidence with her.
I can’t seem to get through to her that this timeline is way too aggressive and I would like to at least address the debt situation before we move. We are having issues getting better jobs in Charlotte however, so that fact alone is fueling her motivation to move down to Florida. What else can I do or say to have her pump her brakes on this whole move until we get some things sorted out first?
tl;dr GF wants to move to Florida before the end of the year. This is too aggressive of a timeline. How do I persuade her otherwise?
Comments
What is your timeline or the concrete steps needed before you’re ready to move?
What was her response when you communicated your timeline and necessary concrete steps to her?
For example, you mention debt. What does address mean? Is that pay it down to 0 or x dollars? How many months will that take?
Basically, make a counter offer that isn’t just a no.
The same Tampa area that suffered two massive hurricanes in 2024? The worst storms were Helene and Milton, two storms just 13 days apart. They were very different hurricanes, devastating different parts of Tampa Bay.
Instead of Florida, you could make a more cost-effective move to Ralegh. Raleigh generally offers more job opportunities than Charlotte, particularly in technology and research.
Regardless, with debt your GF sounds reckless or bored or both.
Why does your GF think that you both will have better job opportunities in Tampa than you do in Charlotte? Do either of you work in an industry with a lot of job openings in Tampa? Wouldn’t it make sense to apply for some of these jobs first before moving?
So oddly I’m from upstate NY (few opportunities) and moved to Tampa – but in 2004.
Florida has a massive income to COL disparity right now. I don’t know Charlottes – but I do know our industries intersect as being hubs of finance and health care – so I imagine the markets are similar.
Florida is propped up by an influx of wealth from people fleeing the northeast who are retired or remote workers. This means our local wages are not up to date with our housing costs.
Tampa is a lovely place to live. But it’s borderline HCOL with low to mid wages. Rents are $1600 for single bedroom in a safe area.
The question is what is different in Tampa from Charlotte? They are similar COL cities with similar amenities. I agree upstate NY is tough to launch from and understand moving south but what changes between these cities?