As briefly as possible, we’ve had a very unstable relationship over the past few months. We agreed to move out and give space, but continue the relationship on a lower level. We saw eachother, had great quality time together, fun and healthy sex. Enter the ex.
She’s been texting, calling, meeting up and having fun. This made me feel insecure and neglected. I voiced my concerns, was told it was OK “we’re just friends.” I believed it.
Fast forward (two weeks ago) she stays for the weekend. I bring up how much it crushes me that she’s been giving him the quality time that I need. I should also mention this isn’t the first time an ex has been involved and things ended horribly. The trust issues come back and I say I can’t be in this relationship if exes are involved as it’s too painful.
She texts this morning, hours before my train to spend a long weekend together for my birthday and ends things. She’s due to meet her ex today, the day in question that I had an issue with.
I feel so much hate. Worst of all, I hate myself for allowing this to happen. I had the choice to leave, but I have no self respect.
Comments
Hey man, going through your profile, you’re a handsome dude. It seems you struggle a lot with your self esteem and self image. I think you need to completely step back from this relationship and take some time for yourself. Maybe see a therapist, but if that’s not something that you’re into, join some local groups. Maybe join a club or start taking classes for a skill you’ve always wanted to develop. You need to start focusing on yourself outside of this relationship. You are more than the relationships you keep and this one is clearly not for you anymore. If you’re looking for advice, cut off your ex, focus on yourself, and try to build up your self esteem. It takes a lot of work and it’s truly not going to be easy but it will be so good for you in the long term. Any future relationship you have will be better for it because you’ll be more secure in yourself and that will make you more confident and comfortable with a partner, with a better ability to set and hold boundaries. Im sorry this happened dude, it really sucks, but she is not the one for you, and the sooner you end this for good and start working on yourself, the better off you’ll be. Much love homie.
This is something that made me decide if relationships are worth keeping. If they can do something to you that you’d never do to them, they’re not worth the forgiving and chances.
I understand people can “be friends with their ex” and have it be a platonic friendship but your girl or ex (whatever she is) didn’t respect you or your feelings. Wash your hands of her. Gain some self love and confidence. It’s truly better to be alone than being constantly back stabbed and neglected. Go have fun. Happy birthday
Sadly, some people take a lot longer to learn what not to do. The next time she tries to come crawling back, DO NOT allow her to; otherwise, you’re going to go through the exact same thing again. You deserve better, OP. You’ll find someone better than her, it just takes time and it’ll take you not allowing her back into your life because it’ll onlyl end up one way which is you hurting and her running back to her ex.
Are you me, but 13 years ago? Minus the living together, this is exactly what happened with my high school girlfriend. In my case, she admitted to having been cheating on me with the guy for several months and somehow spun it as being my fault that she was driven to cheat. That chick fucked me up for years. It gets better, though.
Brother… hands together SpongeBob style
You are better than this. You deserve better than this.
Take a step back. Take some time off. And when you get into another relationship… Don’t tolerate anything that even smells like this.
Happened to me too. Had a gf BREAK up with on my birthday because she couldn’t handle relationship fifties, ya know, like ghosting or forgetting about my birthday.
I think you need to change your perspective. You could take the accountability and let her know that while you appreciate the text, you thought you’d made it clear that YOU ended the relationship when you told her that you would not stand for it. Yes, technically you established a boundary and she STOMPED ALL OVER IT, but you expected that! You knew she would.
It doesn’t have to be or feel this way to anyone else, but YOU made this choice and you were right to. She FREED you after you already told her you were going.
Enjoy your birthday man! You’re single now! You can finally find someone worthy of your love who wouldn’t event think to do this to you. Onward and upward! 💜
Aaahh welcome to the club, hit the gym, improve yourself and you’ll be fine brother