My girlfriend and I have been dating for around 5 months now, but we’ve been friends for close to a year now. We go to the same college and are both incoming sophomores. I really do love this girl, and I want it to work so badly. I want to spend the rest of my life with her. However, before we started dated and when were still friends, she had been talking to this guy. I’m gonna call him Josh. Her and Josh both met at an optional freshman indoctrination thing when we were both incoming freshman. She admits that she really liked this guy and wanted it to work. She says that she only ever kissed him, and I 100% believe her. She is an honest girl and can’t seem to tell a lie. At some point, she found out that he wasn’t a good guy. He would make comments about her a such and she eventually got sick of his shit and broke it off before anything else happened.
I remember when I was still her friend, she was really heartbroken that things didn’t work with him. I’ll admit, Josh is good looking, taller than me, comes from a rich background, etc. And my girlfriend does love me, and she says she wants a future with me too, and I really can tell that she cares about me and wants the best for us. But sometimes is feels like she wishes that things had worked out between them two rather than us.
It feels about once a month, I’ll ask her about her day, and she’ll make a comment. “I talked to some dude who totally looked like Josh and it was super weird” or “I talked to somebody today and they sounded like Josh and I can’t stand it”. Today she said, “This person I met today reminded me a lot of Josh. He looks like him, sounds like him, and had the same charm and smirk as him. It makes it hard to talk to them, but they seem like a good person.”
What she said totally threw me off. What did she mean by “charm”? Am I going crazy.
I’ve been going through a rough time with family recently, and have been a mess emotionally. I haven’t seen this girl in month because of summer vacation, and I seem to get jealous whenever she mentions having fun with other people. Ive been super jealous and selfish about this whole thing. I just want to see her. I want to be the one she has fun with and spends time with. I was looking forward to a call today. I felt like a mess all day and just wanted to relax and talk to my girl. But when she said that it threw everything off. She said that she just wants to have a good time talking to me, but feels like I get angry at her for everything she talks about. She said it almost feels like walking on eggshells when she’s talking to me. That breaks my heart.
I want nothing more than to be able to love this girl with no mental reservation. She’s been my everything since I met her. Nothing makes me more happy than making her happy. I just don’t know what to think right now. Please help me.
TLDR:
My girlfriend of 5 months keeps saying people remind her of her failed talking stage before me. I feel like she wishes she was with him more than me sometimes. I feel insecure and jealous.
Comments
She wasn’t ready to move on and still thinks about him. Personally, I’d just call it and move on myself with someone who was ready.
I wouldn’t waste any more time if it were me.
I think the situation has made you unreasonably sour, but also think she hasn’t moved past it.
Communication is key here, my friend. Express your feelings to her honestly yet gently, and see how she reacts. It’s crucial to clear up any misconceptions before they build up. Also remember, self-confidence is integral. She chose you, not Josh.